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Thread: He goes hot and cold and also never meets

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Reg
    This is spot on.

    Surely after 2 years you realise that you're not going to get anything more from this guy. Stop wasting your time and move on.
    Thanks Reg, I am working on it. But these so many questions that my mind is stuck on :(

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    He sounds like he's married or has a girlfriend.

    And even if he doesn't, why do you waste this much time on him, OP? He clearly has no intention of actually meeting up again, and you're right that you are probably one of many women he talks to. You're a distraction when he's bored or horny but he's almost certainly actually getting real sex from someone else.

    What are you getting out of this?
    He is not married for sure. About girlfriend , he says he didn't date anyone for last 4-5 years. maybe flings yeah. Although very recently he was telling me that he is not much into sex and i should stop judging him and let's just be normal friends which he didn't stick to.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Alexia009
    Two years of talking, plus i am very picky. He just fitted in every aspect. It's just i picked the wrong one. I am a very successful woman career wise and confident too. I couldn't find an equally successful man for a long time except for him. I am super emotional too.
    I don't buy that, at least in this case. If you were picky, you wouldn't be wasting two years on a guy who is all talk, no action. You would have discarded this dude ages ago. Picky women don't hang on to a non-starter. They devote their time to men who walk the walk and nix the rest.

    I think you need to be more realistic with yourself and this situation. You have built up an idea of who this man is, based on very little real-life interaction. It's who you hope he is that you're stuck on, not who he actually is. That's likely also what happened when you suggested dating on your first and only meeting. You put the cart before the horse. I also think you need to concede that yes, you are leading with emotions and it's getting you into murky territory. You're attached to a fantasy here, because it feels good to feed the emotions that seek attention and validation from someone we like. But you're seeking it from the wrong source. He obviously is not interested beyond a phone-sex game, but you keep hoping he will change his mind and help you feel better about wasting so much time on him. Time to stop that.

    Cut this guy off.

  4. #14
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    ^^^ MissCanuck nailed it.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Is he married? Are you? Block and delete him from all messaging and social media apps. Get a good profile and photos up on a quality dating site and start messaging and meeting local single men for a quick coffee.
    Originally Posted by Alexia009
    It was a year of him paying compliments to me and not much of flirting though. After a good one year , things slowly escalated to engaging in phone sex.

  7. #16
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    This is weird, I assume heís married or in a relationship. Either way, itís a waste of time, I would block him and try to date local men.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Is he married? Are you? Block and delete him from all messaging and social media apps. Get a good profile and photos up on a quality dating site and start messaging and meeting local single men for a quick coffee.
    None of us is married , I am 27.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Alexia009
    Two years of talking, plus i am very picky. He just fitted in every aspect. It's just i picked the wrong one. I am a very successful woman career wise and confident too. I couldn't find an equally successful man for a long time except for him. I am super emotional too.
    First step to getting over this guy is to stop saying that he fits everything you want when he doesn't. If he did, you wouldn't be on this forum upset about the situation.

    If you're a successful and confident woman it's time to learn the difference between "good on paper" and actual relationship material. Stop engaging with a guy that doesn't want what you claim to want or admit you don't really want it.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    This is weird, I assume heís married or in a relationship. Either way, itís a waste of time, I would block him and try to date local men.
    Yes perhaps you are right

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by SGH
    First step to getting over this guy is to stop saying that he fits everything you want when he doesn't. If he did, you wouldn't be on this forum upset about the situation.

    If you're a successful and confident woman it's time to learn the difference between "good on paper" and actual relationship material. Stop engaging with a guy that doesn't want what you claim to want or admit you don't really want it.
    I guess i was in love with the fantasy of him , without knowing who he is.

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