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Thread: Is he unsupportive or am I expecting too much?

  1. #11
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    I know your boyfriend didn't expect anything at first and you volunteered to pay for everything 70/30, so OK that part was not exactly his fault. I don't know what he's like in other aspects of your relationship but I have to say that from your post he sounds horrible. You did support him a lot financially for quite a while and now you are only asking that he help you for a couple of months. You are not saying it'll be forever. You have your own business and your own income. If he has the money then he should not be acting so rude about doing this for you, after everything you have done for him. And to act like a jerk about the food and be like "you are eating MY food". Um, you live together and in a relationship of two years so it's both your food. Sure, he got the grocery shop this time but you used to get it and you never said "don't eat my food". He sounds very stingy, petty and immature for his age. You can also see now that he was completely ungrateful for all you did for him. You're a smart businesswoman, you can do MUCH better than this!

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    I think he's being unsupportive. You paid 70% of things for 6 months but he can't help you out for just a couple months? Wow.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Move out. It's not working out. Why be his sugar-mama?
    Originally Posted by Elpida90

    We have been together for 2 years and have lived together for the last 6 months (I moved into a place he was renting). I earned quite a bit more than him, so we split the bills 70/30 with me paying the lion's share.

  4. #14
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    Did you know of his gambling before you moved in?
    His “savings” are not his. They are yours because you subsidised him.
    And his “savings” are more likely due to winnings from gambling that can turn into losses in a day.

    So yes he is angry that you want a cut of his winnings essentially, but those winnings were born from your enabling. Instead of him having no money to gamble you decided to pay for part of his rent allowing him money to gamble.

    He has become accustomed to your financial enabling that he doesn’t know what to do now.

    So yes, only way forward from here is to move out. Since you moved into his rental , your name won’t be in the lease so you legally can move out right now.
    If you want to be somewhat empathetic , move out and give him 2 weeks rent (50/50 only)

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  6. #15
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    Never be covering for dinner or rent all the time when you're the female. Either it's 50/50 or he should contribute more.

    Guy is a leech and you should break up. Please learn from this and never do this again.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    Never be covering for dinner or rent all the time when you're the female. Either it's 50/50 or he should contribute more.

    Guy is a leech and you should break up. Please learn from this and never do this again.
    Why does being female matter? It's not like these two have an a specific setup where she's a SAHM or works part time to care for kids and he's the breadwinner. How does her gender play into this? Men deserve fairness too.

  8. #17
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    Is it yourplace that he moved into? Or did you look for a place together and pick this one?
    If its the former, you can't punish him for you deciding to invest in your business and not having much left over for bills if you were swinging it fine before he showed up and asked him only for 30%.
    If its the latter, then you should have chosen a place where you can both afford half of the rent.
    He is paying exactly what you told him was his share when he moved in.
    I understand he should help, but it should not be "okay this month, you pay half". It should be incremental "I am not making as much money so over the course of the few months can you work up to paying more of the rent." OR why not just ask HIM to pick up the groceries and extras instead of calculating the pennies at the grocery store.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Fudgie
    Why does being female matter? It's not like these two have an a specific setup where she's a SAHM or works part time to care for kids and he's the breadwinner. How does her gender play into this? Men deserve fairness too.
    Raising kids is a tough job, plus when a parent stays home and cares for the kids they are not paying for childcare. That does not equate to this situation.

    She has been supporting him while he gambles. Shame on her!

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Raising kids is a tough job, plus when a parent stays home and cares for the kids they are not paying for childcare. That does not equate to this situation.

    She has been supporting him while he gambles. Shame on her!
    I agree, she needs to ditch this guy in this case.

    I'm just wondering why the previous poster said that you should pay only 50% or less if you are female, no other criteria involved. Seems lopsided and unfair to me.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by Fudgie
    I agree, she needs to ditch this guy in this case.

    I'm just wondering why the previous poster said that you should pay only 50% or less if you are female, no other criteria involved. Seems lopsided and unfair to me.
    I agree. Expenses should be shared.

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