Jump to content

He is not that into me. Delete him from social media?


Caty

Recommended Posts

I went on a date yesterday and I thought that it went very well. He messaged me almost right away after the date thanking me for the date and he’s sorry for ending it abruptly (he had a train to catch). I replied. Today he didn’t messaged me but I messaged him. He replied right away and we had a conversation. At the end we were talking about wine and he said that next time I should bring the wine and I replied just name the time and place. He just sent emojis.. I was like okay... I guess he not into me then.

 

The question is should I delete him from Snapchat? I added him before meeting him. I don’t see any point of having him on Snapchat now when he never sends any pictures (at least not to me) and we are never going to meet again. He keeps checking when I post something in my story though. Or is it petty of me to delete him just because he didn’t ask me out again? He told me that he doesn’t play any games and that he doesn’t wait to message a girl right away and setting up a new date. So I kind of took the hint that he’s not interested. I'm going on vacation next Thursday and when I get back, he's is leaving for three weeks. It's his bday tomorrow and he also knows that I am working. He could ask to see me before I leave for vacation next week but he hasn't asked. He also didn't give me his phone number. We are only talking through Snapchat.

Link to comment
  • Replies 75
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Wait until after your vacation. If you don't hear from him by then, write him off.

 

 

I could wait until after my vacation but then I will just think about it, and what is the point? He's leaving on vaction the moment I get back.

Link to comment

Stop messaging him completely(initiating convos). This guy already made it clear what his methods are. If he walks the talk, he'll contact you. You're making it way too easy and seeming way too clingy. Work on your game a little. Also, meet other men. This is a poor representation of a good date if this is the way he communicates with you. Don't think so highly of him.

Link to comment
Stop messaging him completely. This guy already made it clear what his methods are. If he walks the talk, he'll contact you. You're making it way too easy and seeming way too clingy. Work on your game a little. Also, meet other men. This is a poor representation of a good date if this is the way he communicates with you. Don't think so highly of him.

 

Honestly, I just want to delete him because I know I'll just think about it. I'm also feeling a bit embarrassed now. I don't want to play games. I'm just overthinking that he will think that I am petty.

Link to comment
You're going to think about it even if you don't delete him. Why don't you just give it some time? What's the hurry?

 

 

The reason why I am think about it because of what he said. Before we met, he said that if we meet during the weekend, we can have a second date the same weekend. As I also mentioned I kind of feeling embarrassed that I messaged him today. If I hadn't messaged him, he wouldn't had sent me a message.

Link to comment

You went on one date and now, because he hasn't asked you out right away you are ready to delete him? If you told him you were going on vacation then maybe he just doesn't want to get too attached or have you get too attached if you're not going to be able to see one another for at least five weeks since you said he leaves on vacation right after you.

 

Anyway, you don't sound very confident about things to do with this dating situ so delete him if that will close the door for you. You don't even know him so I don't think it should be a big deal for him or you if you do.

Link to comment
You went on one date and now, because he hasn't asked you out right away you are ready to delete him? If you told him you were going on vacation then maybe he just doesn't want to get too attached or have you get too attached if you're not going to be able to see one another for at least five weeks since you said he leaves on vacation right after you.

 

Anyway, you don't sound very confident about things to do with this dating situ so delete him if that will close the door for you. You don't even know him so I don't think it should be a big deal for him or you if you do.

 

 

 

 

Well, the reason why I don't feel confident is because the last guy I was with dumped me on a text out of the blue and I got really humiliated I do not have full time job and I am studying. This guy has two kids from a previous relationship, a house and full-time job. He is also 6 years older than me. Why should he be interested in me? Apparently, I'm just insecure and embarrassed that I messaged him today. Okay, I'm just going to leave him be and I'm definitely not wishing him a happy bday...

Link to comment

I say take a big, deep breath.

 

You saw him yesterday, had a nice time. Today you are texting, cutely. This is all, generally speaking, good stuff. Assuming his string of emojis didn't translate to to "What?! You cray thinking we'll see each other again!" I don't see what the harm is in, you know, just letting this play out a bit.

Link to comment
I went on a date yesterday and I thought that it went very well. He messaged me almost right away after the date thanking me for the date and he’s sorry for ending it abruptly (he had a train to catch). I replied. Today he didn’t messaged me but I messaged him. He replied right away and we had a conversation. At the end we were talking about wine and he said that next time I should bring the wine and I replied just name the time and place. He just sent emojis.. I was like okay... I guess he not into me then.

 

The question is should I delete him from Snapchat? I added him before meeting him. I don’t see any point of having him on Snapchat now when he never sends any pictures (at least not to me) and we are never going to meet again. He keeps checking when I post something in my story though. Or is it petty of me to delete him just because he didn’t ask me out again? He told me that he doesn’t play any games and that he doesn’t wait to message a girl right away and setting up a new date. So I kind of took the hint that he’s not interested. I'm going on vacation next Thursday and when I get back, he's is leaving for three weeks. It's his bday tomorrow and he also knows that I am working. He could ask to see me before I leave for vacation next week but he hasn't asked. He also didn't give me his phone number. We are only talking through Snapchat.

 

I think that a day is too soon to come to the conclusion that a guy is not interested in seeing you again (supposing the date went well and he talked about meeting again). Not messaging the day after having a lovely date doesn't seem conclusive to me of lack of interest.

 

In my opinion and by what you say, it's to soon to either reach the conclusion that he's interested or not interested. I'd recommend though, not creating big expectations with ANYONE just because of a date or get obsessed with someone you barely know after a date. I also recommend not basing your relationships/dating on snapchats and texts.

Link to comment

Wait!? You had a date last night and he hasn't locked down another under 24 hours, so he must not be interested?

 

Slow your roll, girl!

 

I get you put yourself out there by baiting him into picked a day and when he didnt your insecurities kicked in. So now you think a preemptive strike to kill this is in order?

 

2 things - you can recover from this if you gain your composure and have a little faith. He may or may not be interested. That's what dating is a about.

 

Secondly, if you are this thin skinned and white knuckling the entire process, consider taking a step back and rethinking your dating readiness.

 

Dating is supposed to be enjoyable.

Link to comment
The reason why I am think about it because of what he said. Before we met, he said that if we meet during the weekend, we can have a second date the same weekend. As I also mentioned I kind of feeling embarrassed that I messaged him today. If I hadn't messaged him, he wouldn't had sent me a message.

 

Don't rush things. Wait it out to gauge where he's at. I just find it odd you guys don't have each others phone numbers yet.

I can understand why you feel that he's not into you. From what you expressed, this guy's communication method needs alot of improvement & he also seems to be indifferent towards you.

Wait it out, Especially being that your only means of communicating with this guy is snapchat.

Link to comment
Wait!? You had a date last night and he hasn't locked down another under 24 hours, so he must not be interested?

 

Slow your roll, girl!

I get you put yourself out there by baiting him into picked a day and when he didnt your insecurities kicked in. So now you think a preemptive strike to kill this is in order?

 

2 things - you can recover from this if you gain your composure and have a little faith. He may or may not be interested. That's what dating is a about.

 

Secondly, if you are this thin skinned and white knuckling the entire process, consider taking a step back and rethinking your dating readiness.

 

Dating is supposed to be enjoyable.

 

I agree with this 100%.

 

I mean good lordy OP, I get anxious too sometimes, and realize you've been hurt in the past, but in this case, you are totally over-reacting.

 

In fact, I nearly fell off my chair when I read this:

 

>>At the end we were talking about wine and he said that next time I should bring the wine and I replied just name the time and place. He just sent emojis.. I was like okay... I guess he not into me then.

 

I mean, how in the world do you come to this conclusion just from that?

 

You had just had a lovely date yesterday after which he messaged you.

 

Then today you messaged him (to which I say good for you!), he messaged back immediately (which believe me he would NOT have done if he wasn't into you).

 

You had a great message exchange, he told you to bring the wine next time, then sent emojis (all good!), and because he didn't immediately lock down the next date, you've concluded he's not into you? It's been ONE day!

 

I am truly TRULY not understanding your thought process about any of this.

 

To me, it all sounds very positive and if he does not have time to see you before you leave, when you both return from your respective vacations, you can plan another date.

Link to comment
Don't rush things. Wait it out to gauge where he's at. I just find it odd you guys don't have each others phone numbers yet.

I can understand why you feel that he's not into you. From what you expressed, this guy's communication method needs alot of improvement & he also seems to be indifferent towards you.

Wait it out, Especially being that your only means of communicating with this guy is snapchat.

 

He replied almost straight away when I messaged him first.. Well, it’s his bday tomorrow and I’m not going to wish him a happy birthday. That’s for sure.

Link to comment
He replied almost straight away when I messaged him first.. Well, it’s his bday tomorrow and I’m not going to wish him a happy birthday. That’s for sure.

 

No disrespect but with that attitude, you seriously should not be dating.

 

Heal from your previous RL since the pain from that is obviously affecting you in such a negative way causing you to not give men a chance and preemptively push them away.

Link to comment
No disrespect but with that attitude, you seriously should not be dating.

 

Heal from your previous RL since the pain from that is obviously affecting you in such a negative way causing you to not give men a chance and preemptively push them away.

 

Well, someone in a previous comment said that I should stop messaging him and stop being clingy.

Link to comment
He replied almost straight away when I messaged him first.. Well, it’s his bday tomorrow and I’m not going to wish him a happy birthday. That’s for sure.

 

I have to say you sound sound awfully tight. I'd honestly be curious to know how much time passed between the emoji text from him and you turning here to ask if she you should delete from your life because it's "clear" you'll "never" see him again. Twenty minutes? Two hours?

 

I mean, less than 24 hours ago you were with this dude, and by all accounts your exchanges since have been universally positive.

 

The writing is on the wall here that, should this develop into something with real traction, that's not really going to happen for a few weeks, when you're both back from your travels. Cool. Maybe you get to see each other before that—great. If not—also great. And if you can't have that attitude right now—well, chill with dating for a bit.

 

Kind of sounds like you're cutting off your nose to spite your face. You're treating this guy—a dude who just took you out and has only been responsive—like he's a longterm boyfriend who has been taking you for granted for years and you've had it up to here and are now shown' him who's boss.

Link to comment
Man. No way is he gonna be able to celebrate his birthday now.

 

No need to be rude. Did you get offended? As I wrote someone in a previous comment that I should stop messaging (initiating) him and stop being clingy. So I’m going to stop initiating and being clingy.

Link to comment

Just listen to your own gut instincts. Look, if he's not really seeming like his words are measuring up to his actions, you get to make the call. Things will fall into place with the right person. You don't need to feel ashamed or bad about it not working out.

Link to comment
Well, someone in a previous comment said that I should stop messaging him and stop being clingy.

 

Well, I don't agree with that. Sending one message (which again he replied to immediately which would strongly suggest he's "into" you) is NOT clingy, not even close to clingy.

 

Clingy would be continuing to message him after not replying back to your first. But he did reply, so it's all good!

 

And remember, he messaged you first after your lovely date, which I don't believe he would have done if he were not into you.

 

Moving forward, I would now allow him to send the next message. And equal back and forth, give and take.

 

I think it's absolutely fine that he didn't lock you down for the next date.

 

No doubt he had a nice time, but it's quite possible he is now processing all of it, and/or he's got a lot going on before you leave.

 

You simply cannot be expecting a man to drop his life after having one date with you.

 

That is a totally unrealistic expectation, and if this is truly your thought process, then as I said, perhaps you should not be dating right now.

Link to comment
I have to say you sound sound awfully tight. I'd honestly be curious to know how much time passed between the emoji text from him and you turning here to ask if she you should delete from your life because it's "clear" you'll "never" see him again. Twenty minutes? Two hours?

 

I mean, less than 24 hours ago you were with this dude, and by all accounts your exchanges since have been universally positive.

 

The writing is on the wall here that, should this develop into something with real traction, that's not really going to happen for a few weeks, when you're both back from your travels. Cool. Maybe you get to see each other before that—great. If not—also great. And if you can't have that attitude right now—well, chill with dating for a bit.

 

Kind of sounds like you're cutting off your nose to spite your face. You're treating this guy—a dude who just took you out and has only been responsive—like he's a longterm boyfriend who has been taking you for granted for years and you've had it up to here and are now shown' him who's boss.

 

For the third time, someone in previous comment wrote that I should not be clingy and stop initiating.. If I send him another message tomorrow then it would be me initiating and being clingy. Why are you getting so offended?

Link to comment
For the third time, someone in previous comment wrote that I should not be clingy and stop initiating.. If I send him another message tomorrow then it would be me initiating and being clingy. Why are you getting so offended?

 

No one is suggesting that you send him another text. Where did you get that?

 

In fact, if you read my last post, I advised you to now wait for him to send the next text.

 

I am not sure why you keep "clinging" to the notion that you were clingy.

 

It was one poster who said that, everyone else is advising you to chill, it all sounds very cool and positive. Again, it's been ONE day since your date. Slow the roll.

 

Relax, go on your vacations, and see how it plays out when you both get back.

 

Are you always this negative OP?

 

Serious question.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...