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Thread: Issued a final warning at work - I have questions

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    "I do foresee my attendance issues improving over the next half of the year."

    This is a problem.

    Going by what you wrote and based on your reference to a "final warning ", you don't have half a year to get your attendance in gear. That needs to happen today.
    Do not foresee -- do it.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    What did you do different after the verbal?

  3. #23
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    I don't think the responders on here are intending to be harsh. For the record, to answer your initial question, an e-mail letting them know that you heard them and offering a thank you for the honesty and criticism can't hurt.

    I think what others are trying to get across is that if this a chronic problem, coming up with excuses for why it's happening and seeking support for those excuses is going to lead you to you losing another job.

    I hate working. I grew up in an indulgent family household that let me skip school frequently growing up. I really had to grind it into myself as an adult that part of a strong work ethic was having acceptable attendance. Showing up really matters. Every day you wake up and you think of a reason to not go, counter it.

    For the record, I'm not judging you. I am not suggesting you work yourself to the bone or even that you have to like work. I just know if you want to make it in this world that you have to push yourself, even though personal tragedies. Good luck turning it around!

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    I think a quick followup that emphasizes that you will make the required changes would be good. And of course, actions matter more so I'm sure you'll follow through.

    Work can really suck sometimes. If you want to improve attendance (I do this for myself, BTW, so I am not blowing this out my bum), I would make yourself a strict rule of what you will and will not call out for. And stick to it.

    If a close family member dies or is critically I'll suddenly okay, permissible. Follow up and get the documentation for FMLA if needed. But going forward, I wouldn't call out for family issues. See to them after work as best you can. Don't call out for health unless you're in 10/10 pain, vomiting, flu, or other serious problems. Even emotional problems, there's very little I would call out for. I got off a long shift, broke off with K, went into a hotel, and then got up and worked for another 3 days. You CAN do this. We all have a reserve in us for trying times and you just need to tap into it and remind yourself of the priorities.

    A question - are you on salary? I'm wondering if you'd be more motivated at a professional job that pays hourly. Such a job would naturally dock your pay if you're late/absent because it's hourly, outside of a set number of sick days per year. Just soemthing to consider. I work a professional job now but am still paid hourly (thank GOD, I love OT) and I'll tell you it's motivating when you remind yourself "yeah I could call in but that's 12 hrs of paid time off I can't use later when I'm actually very sick, so I'd end up losing pay!"

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  6. #25
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    A follow-up email to your warning isn't a bad idea, OP.

    However, given that you said you have failed at three other jobs, there are evidently deeper issues going on that something circumstantial with an ill family member. I don't doubt that dealing with a serious illness in the family hindered your performance and attendance at work. But it appears this is not the only period in which you haven't been able to manage your professional responsibilities.

    An old friend of mine struggled with the same problem. She'd get a job, do great for a while, then revert back into old habits of taking too much time off and not fulfilling her obligations at work. She would call in sick, find reasons to leave early, slack on what she was supposed to do. On many occasions, she was called in to meetings with her employers and warned that she could be terminated. Nearly every job has ended this way, with the employer finally giving her her walking papers or giving her the option of quitting so she didn't have a termination on her record. She struggles a lot with anxiety and depression, always has, and this has indeed affected her ability to hold down steady work. She no longer works at all, in fact. Nobody will hire her with the poor employment record she has and she frankly isn't that upset about it. Her mental health is delicate.

    Have you had any similar issues in your life? I think that to see real improvement, you are going to need to reflect deeply on whatever the undelying problems are. There is a pattern that sheer willpower is unlikely to change.

  7. #26
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    I think you should start looking for another job.

    I know that you want to stay where you are - but being realistic, you are on thin ice. It does take a long time to look for another job that youíd love - and itís helpful to look while you are still employed.

    That would be my backup plan. Do your best, try to turn things around, but also look for another job in your spare time. This way, if things go sideways despite your best efforts, you are better prepared.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    While a followup email is a good idea, I would punch the point by doing the most visible thing possible, and that would be showing up for work early.

    I'm a late worker, and I put in extra time on occasion just to reach a more comfortable leaving point. This matches my private goal, which is fortunate, because if my goal were to 'be seen' as a more invested worker, there's nobody else there to 'see' my extra time. However, if my goal were to be seen as more invested, showing up early would serve that purpose.

    This doesn't mean you'll need to beat everyone else to get there first, but rather, simply ensuring that your desk isn't sitting there empty until your usual time would be an immediate demonstration of your increased investment in your work.

    Consider that your warning isn't limited to getting caught up with your work, but rather, the frequency of your desk being empty is a demoralizing signal to other workers. That has a huge impact on work culture, where your bosses can't motivate others to perform well in the face of what appears to be a special tolerance of your lack of investment. So correcting that appearance immediately would go a long way in walking your talk.

    Head high, you can do this.

  9. #28
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    While a followup email is a good idea, I would punch the point by doing the most visible thing possible, and that would be showing up for work early.

    I'm a late worker, and I put in extra time on occasion just to reach a more comfortable leaving point. This matches my private goal, which is fortunate, because if my goal were to 'be seen' as a more invested worker, there's nobody else there to 'see' my extra time. However, if my goal were to be seen as more invested, showing up early would serve that purpose.

    This doesn't mean you'll need to beat everyone else to get there first, but rather, simply ensuring that your desk isn't sitting there empty until your usual time would be an immediate demonstration of your increased investment in your work.

    Consider that your warning isn't limited to getting caught up with your work, but rather, the frequency of your desk being empty is a demoralizing signal to other workers. That has a huge impact on work culture, where your bosses can't motivate others to perform well in the face of what appears to be a special tolerance of your lack of investment. So correcting that appearance immediately would go a long way in walking your talk.

    Head high, you can do this.
    Thanks for that suggestion - I did actually come in about 10 minutes earlier today than usual. It felt good to get a jumpstart on getting my coffee and saying "good morning" to the few that were here already on my way to my office. I was already logged in and working when the rest of my department showed up, and I can't deny that it felt good. Last night I told the bf that I would be getting up with him from now on so that I make it to work earlier. He gets up a half hour before me usually.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    Thanks for that suggestion - I did actually come in about 10 minutes earlier today than usual. It felt good to get a jumpstart on getting my coffee and saying "good morning" to the few that were here already on my way to my office. I was already logged in and working when the rest of my department showed up, and I can't deny that it felt good. Last night I told the bf that I would be getting up with him from now on so that I make it to work earlier. He gets up a half hour before me usually.
    10 minutes isnít really much of anything. If youíre trying to step up, I think 30 minutes would be noticeable.

  11. #30
    Bronze Member LootieTootie's Avatar
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    I'm truly sorry for your loss, OP... and I am sorry that your work quality and attendance has been affected because well... life happens.

    You are handling the sit-down like a champ and please be easy on yourself. Everyone deals with death and family's illness differently... I know in the past, I've become an insanely work addictive employee during my parent's sickness and death in the family where I've had bosses instruct me to go home and grieve.

    If you ever start getting defensive about the sit-down, just remember your bosses are just doing their job. They understand you've had a rough year but in the end of the day, they're not your friends. They're your employer. Show up to work, take your breaks and meditate, and count your blessings.

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