sisterly love, but not from me

I have been with my for over 20 years. We have been married for 17 years. We have had a rough and rocky marriage. Mostly due to me. I have had horrible issues that I have worked on with my therapist.

Recently, we have been having serious financial troubles. So much so I teased him about selling him to a woman who has money. I know that it was in bad taste. But the other day, out of the blue, he said he would sell himself to my sister. I was taken aback.

They have spent time together. I never felt insecure until now. When they go outside to smoke, she steps away from him. I am wondering if they had had an affair.

That joke is now haunting me.

You need to ask him since you opened that door. You need marriage counselling, not jokes, if you characterize your marriage as "rough and rocky"

When they go outside to smoke, she steps away from him. I am wondering if they had had an affair.

If she steps away from him, they probably are not having an affair.

I am assuming your internal accusations about him cheating is your inner baggage.

But - i will say a person can only take rocky and jokes about being given away/being sold for so long.

If you continue to push him away in more little ways you *could* lose him not by affair but by him deciding enough is enough.

Your post is a bit confusing regarding the timeline. Did he reply to your joke like that immediately or was that comment made at a later time e.g. the next day. If it was spontaneous and on the spot then it might not have been meant as more than an insult/comeback. If it was done at a later date after deliberate thought then it could be anything from trying to hurt you to him actually having feelings for her. It doesn't necessarily mean that he cheated on you with her. Would your sister be capable of doing this tp you?

You made a joke in poor taste. He matched you with an equally poor one.

She stepped away when you appeared?

It's certainly not enough to go on.

How about some couples counseling to deal with the real issues?

Thank you everyone for your replies. I will take everything into consideration. Couples counseling is a very good idea. Yeah, my joke was a bad one. and abitbroken, you are right. A person always has a breaking point. I do have inner baggage. :( I will definitely talk to my therapist about it.

How long have you been seeing this therapist? Are you also repairing your trust and romance with your husband in tandem with seeing your therapist or has your marriage fallen to the wayside in your bid to help yourself? Don't grow distant in your marriage. Keep the communication lines open (both of you).