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Thread: I just need to vent

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Damn, you are going to burn yourself out and get sick. How many hours do you work in a week?

    Are they going to hire more people?
    I'm working less now because I stopped doing extras. In here if you work after 5 pm, it counts more, so my 33 extra hours are extra nights and weekends I've done and not exactly 33 hours. My issue is not the amount of hours I do, it's the intensity of it in the time I'm there and the amount of work to get done.

    They will hire another person but they've waited all these months. They hired a friend of the boss that is fresh out of her degree and won't have much autonomy in the beginning and she'll begin next month. We'll be working understaffed due to this and people's holidays probably until September. It sucks because when I began we had all the staff and it was amazing. I was never stressed out and I didn't need to rush everything and I felt supported. Now I feel all the weight and responsibility on my back.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I had planned to study the language today as I've decided to take an official exame to prove my level at the language and my writing is too weak for that exam and I had also planned on studying some stuff for work, but I've spent the afternoon crying in the sofa and can't focus.
    I'm glad you're taking fewer extra shifts. Can you postpone this pending exam until you are able to work with more staff?

    If the goal is exposure to more options, why not consider the second location to be fulfilling that exposure for now instead of adding an exam to your pressure cooker?

  3. #13
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    Iím sorry you feel so stressed out, you need to find time to relax, and get enough sleep. Iím living in a foreign country too, and although I don't feel lonely anymore, I know it can be difficult. Do you have any hobbies? I also have a very demanding job, Iím meeting clients and basically speaking two different languages at work (none of them is my first language), and there are days I feel completely exhausted. What helps me is doing things I like in my free time Ė I play badminton, go to the theater, I have joined this local expat group, and I try to travel as much as I can. And donít be too hard on yourself, one step at a time, good luck!

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Today I went out with my co-workers and it was nice but today I just miss my friends and my country. I miss my family so much. Sometimes I just feel so alone here. Sometimes it's so hard to express myself in Norwegian and be myself here. I just want to fit in but at the same time I feel that I'm so different from everyone around me. It's so weird because I wanted this and I wanted this experience but some days I just feel so alone that it's hard to cope. It's like I want to relate to people here but at the same time there's a wall. (I'm very dramatic today)

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    I'm glad you're taking fewer extra shifts. Can you postpone this pending exam until you are able to work with more staff?

    If the goal is exposure to more options, why not consider the second location to be fulfilling that exposure for now instead of adding an exam to your pressure cooker?
    Which second location? (sorry, I'm very slow now)

    But I think you're right, I'm too stressed and tired to study as I should. The idea of taking the exam it's because the places where I'd like to live in this country seem to be demanding people with language proficiency according to some job ads I've seen. I have professional fluency in the language but I don't have any official proof of that. I'd like to have a certificate of advanced proficiency in the language because I know that it'd increase my options.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kim42
    Iím sorry you feel so stressed out, you need to find time to relax, and get enough sleep. Iím living in a foreign country too, and although I don't feel lonely anymore, I know it can be difficult. Do you have any hobbies? I also have a very demanding job, Iím meeting clients and basically speaking two different languages at work (none of them is my first language), and there are days I feel completely exhausted. What helps me is doing things I like in my free time Ė I play badminton, go to the theater, I have joined this local expat group, and I try to travel as much as I can. And donít be too hard on yourself, one step at a time, good luck!
    I can totally relate to you. I'm working and socializing in a "third" language everyday (I consider English and Spanish my second languages and the language here my third language) and I'm also meeting clients everyday. I haven't found hobbies that give me pleasure yet here. I like being in the nature though. I have been feeling a bit unmotivated, but I think I need to exercise more. There are no expat groups here nor meetups nor anything of the sort but I'm now friends with a girl from my country that is going through similar experiences as mine, and that has been helping me. I can speak my language with her and I can relate to a lot of what she's feeling and we support each other. Before I moved here I lived in a place where there were mostly locals and almost no one foreign, so it's nice to be able to have someone to speak my language to and share experiences. I think that I've just been through a depressed and stressed phase, but I hope that it gets better.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Annia
    Which second location? (sorry, I'm very slow now)
    The place you were stressing about in your OP that your boss had asked you to cover.

    Originally Posted by Annia
    But I think you're right, I'm too stressed and tired to study as I should. The idea of taking the exam it's because the places where I'd like to live in this country seem to be demanding people with language proficiency according to some job ads I've seen. I have professional fluency in the language but I don't have any official proof of that. I'd like to have a certificate of advanced proficiency in the language because I know that it'd increase my options.
    Apply for every desirable job that doesn't require the exam. Either you'll be a good fit, or not. If not, then it's not the right job for you regardless of your credentials.

    One cause of stress is holding a higher bar for yourself than is necessary, practical or realistic. When you don't know another's expectations, it may be better to ask and find out than to overshoot--and harm yourself in the process.

    Focus on one thing at a time. When you're working, focus on your work. When you're not working, focus on creating a healthy work/life balance. When your goal is continual improvement, take small and reasonable steps in the right direction, and allow for some plateaus rather than attempting to plow through those by overcompensating.

    Consider how much of your stress is self imposed, and use discretion in how much of that is 'necessary' versus an inability to flip you own relaxation switch. Consider whether you've created a habit of catastrophic thinking that causes you to suffer bad outcomes in your own mind, regardless of whether they are likely to occur, and causes you to overcompensate and burn yourself out.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Thank you everyone for your supportive comments, it helped a lot. I'm going through a mini mental breakdown now that I found out apparently they took away my monthly free day and trying to collect myself to when I talk to management. I'm having these nervous/emotional breakdowns because I think I'm too stressed and as catfeeder says I've created a catastrophic thinking. I like my colleagues in general, but I've reach a point where it's not healthy to live so anxious and sometimes so angry to the point that I have to control myself not to make passive aggressive comments to my manager. Passive aggressiveness is a bad thing I have that I'm trying to change but sometimes it almost comes out and work is the worst place to be passive aggressive. I've made a good friend from my country which is in a similar situation as me at her workplace which I think it's basically one of the reasons I haven't gone insane lol

    I'll focus myself on trying to do the best possible and I'll start thinking ahead. I really want to move to the capital city of this country where at least I'll be able to travel and have more flexibility despite the high living costs.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Good news: Saturday was the day we had most clients ever on a Saturday and I was alone there... I controlled and dispensed more than 300 prescriptions myself plus many other stuff I did that day, it was crazy and as soon as she got to know, she said that we can't continue to have days like this with such volume of work for so few people and that she'll find solutions so that I never have to go through that again. I didn't need to say anything or complain, she said immediately once she knew of that day that it wasn't safe nor logic to have such volume of work. I told her that I was glad to hear that because even though "we survived" and I have an high tolerance for stress (she doesn't know I've been having these mental breakdowns home lol), that I felt that it affected the quality of my work and that I didn't feel that this was a safe and sustainable situation. I felt a huge relief that my manager doesn't think that this situation is right and want to make things better. I still feel stressed, a huge weight on my chest, but I feel hopeful. Calling my mother also helped me and made me realize that I can't keep everything inside or I get into "panic mode" like I was these days.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    WOW, Annia! While I hope you never have that kind of day again, doesn't it feel fabulous to know how well you handled it? Nice job, and go, you!!

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