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Thread: Still in shock

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    When you see your role in all this including the poor judgement of having her and her brood move in after 7 mos dating, you'll stop feeling so sorry for yourself and blaming her for everything. You were desperate and lonely before you met her and lived in an 'empty house". And now you are again. Address that. Were you on the rebound when you met her? What was your last relationship like and how long before you met this woman did that end? How long did it last? Did that woman run also? Insight would help you tremendously in coming to terms with everything rather than positioning yourself as victim of a very short lived fling.

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    When you see your role in all this including the poor judgement of having her and her brood move in after 7 mos dating, you'll stop feeling so sorry for yourself and blaming her for everything. You were desperate and lonely before you met her and lived in an 'empty house". And now you are again. Address that. Were you on the rebound when you met her? What was your last relationship like and how long before you met this woman did that end? How long did it last? Did that woman run also? Insight would help you tremendously in coming to terms with everything rather than positioning yourself as victim of a very short lived fling.
    Actually it has been many years since my last long term. I was very happy just doing my own thing. I wasnt desperate in any way. I would say it was her that was feeling that. I see it now. I wasnt by no means on the rebound. My last relationship was over 3 years long. It ended on her part because of personal issues. Nothing to do with me

    The empty house part was just the fact she was gone and how see made it nice in her way I didnt have a problem living alone.

    I've had many opportunities to be with women but chosen not to. So when I met her it seemed very right.

  3. #33
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    blah blah blah, excuse, excuse, excuse... Until you accept it is over, you are going to feel this way. Choice is yours

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by No1
    blah blah blah, excuse, excuse, excuse... Until you accept it is over, you are going to feel this way. Choice is yours
    Easy said then done

    I do know she is not coming back. I think its harder knowing she left over something I'm not.

    I have accepted its over. Are feelings still there ? Of course they are. Only time will fix this

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  6. #35
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    I am struggling with this. It's over but I still love her. To very bad things to have going on.

  7. #36
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    I stayed in last night and it was the worst. So many things running through my head. I put my trust in her and all I was nothing to her. It shows when she can just pick up and leave so fast for no real reason.

    If she wanted out should have just left. She just made it seem like it was my fault for no reason. And just days before made a big commitment together. And now I'm left on the hook with it.

    She wrote a few things and it's like where the hell did that come from.

    Dont flame me for venting or talking about it still. I really is hard for me

  8. #37
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    She did just leave.
    Originally Posted by To nice
    If she wanted out should have just left.

  9. #38
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    You really can't do a thing about what she thinks, writes or says about you. You can get upset, ruminate obsessively about it, let it ruin your day, but none of those things will change it.

    Try to work toward acceptance and letting go of what you can't control.

  10. #39
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You really can't do a thing about what she thinks, writes or says about you. You can get upset, ruminate obsessively about it, let it ruin your day, but none of those things will change it.

    Try to work toward acceptance and letting go of what you can't control.

    I could accept it much easier if there wasnt a made up excuse that does not represent me. Oh I am trying I'm keeping busy it's like having to go to court and being charged with something you never did.

    And why should I be on the hook for everything that was done in good faith on her part. She freaking stole from my house. And stupid me I gave her a chance to make things right on her end. Not the relationship part.
    I work hard for everything I have. She left the house in a mess. If anything she should live up to her obligations.

  11. #40
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    Originally Posted by To nice
    I could accept it much easier if there wasnt a made up excuse that does not represent me. Oh I am trying I'm keeping busy it's like having to go to court and being charged with something you never did.

    And why should I be on the hook for everything that was done in good faith on her part. She freaking stole from my house. And stupid me I gave her a chance to make things right on her end. Not the relationship part.
    I work hard for everything I have. She left the house in a mess. If anything she should live up to her obligations.
    How is focusing and obsessing about all of that helping you?

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