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Thread: Am I wrong to be upset?

  1. #31
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Beej


    I said to her today that I genuinely mean what I said (see: tonight I finally managed to get her to talk..) and I do. But she just sees it as bull. I donít understand why she would continue to be in a relationship that she is extremely upset in. She is either sky high in love or screaming in my face and I end up being in the middle, drained of passion.
    If you needed a sign ^^ that's it.
    There is no compromise here and without compromise a relationship cannot exist

  2. #32
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    There were a few warning signs when I entered the relationship. I think the further it has gone on and the deeper down the argument ridden hole we dig, the more I feel negatively about the relationship. On that basis I inadvertently avoid us moving forward, booking holidays, engagement, children etc. So of course she doesnít think Iím committed. Perhaps sheís right. I guess a lot of our problems stem from this.

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by Beej
    There were a few warning signs when I entered the relationship. I think the further it has gone on and the deeper down the argument ridden hole we dig, the more I feel negatively about the relationship. On that basis I inadvertently avoid us moving forward, booking holidays, engagement, children etc. So of course she doesnít think Iím committed. Perhaps sheís right. I guess a lot of our problems stem from this.
    Yes- you are not committed so why should she make sacrifices for your family? I would decide soon whether to commit or not and if "not" and you want to keep seeing her casually tell her that and be clear about that. You both deserve clarity.

  4. #34
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Beej
    I donít understand why she would continue to be in a relationship that she is extremely upset in.
    Well, if you'd like some understanding it's pretty easy to find. You don't even need to talk to her. Just find a mirror and stare at it, because the person starring back at you has also spent a long time continuing in a relationship he is extremely upset in.

    And I think if you can focus on that person, instead of dodging those questions by analyzing her, you'll find the peace you're looking for.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Well, if you'd like some understanding it's pretty easy to find. You don't even need to talk to her. Just find a mirror and stare at it, because the person starring back at you has also spent a long time continuing in a relationship he is extremely upset in.

    And I think if you can focus on that person, instead of dodging those questions by analyzing her, you'll find the peace you're looking for.
    I totally agree. You are looking for answers in the wrong place or person. What do you want doesn't seem to be in your mind set. You are spending so much mental real estate trying to "make her happy" so she won't blow up on you that you have totally lost who you are and what you want. I can just see you walking on eggshells around her worrying when the next bomb will go off. That is no life and it certainly is no relationship.

    You have been a trooper and hung in there much longer than most but it is time to call it quits. There are no resolutions to be found because it is simply her way or nothing, and the worst part is her way is almost always at your expense.

    I think you know it is over but just haven't been able to accept it. I know there is fear of the unknown but being alone is way more healthy than being with her I can guarantee you that!

    Lost

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