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Thread: My crush rejected me, but I have suspicions that he is chatting with my sister?

  1. #1
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    My crush rejected me, but I have suspicions that he is chatting with my sister?

    Hello, me again. A new conflict has risen from my last post about the same situation. Anyways, So my sister was the one who started this drama without my knowledge (see last post for details) and then Brian (my ex crush) reached out to me and rejected me. Anyways, in the past week, I have noticed that my sister has constantly been on her phone, more often than usual. I also notice that when she gets onto Instagram and active on chat, Brian becomes active on chat and this lasts for hours. The both of them active at the same time and their last active timestamps are very close. This could not be a coincidence that is consistently happening. Brian even admitted to me that he has this "new friendship" with my sister. I haven't spoken to him about my suspicions, so it was odd that he would randomly tell me that. Today my sister just randomly started talking about Brian and she has never done this before. I have confronted her about this but she says "No, I am not talking to him, that would back stab you" But knowing her, I wouldn't put it past her. She also wasn't being very defensive about me accusing her of it. It's almost like she can tell that I have suspicions. I am continuing to feel distraught inside. This has developed into an internal conflict because I would rather not ask the both of them about what the hell is going on and start up the drama again. I have no idea what to do next. I fear that if I find out the truth (even though I am pretty sure I already do) it will tear my sister and I apart. I don't care to have any relations with Brian. But my sister and I's relationship is on the line if it is true that they are talking to each other and getting close behind my back. Is this normal to feel this way? What should I do about this? I really wish none of this happened. Please give me advice! Thank you!

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I can't lie. When you shared your first post, I suspected there was more going on with sister.
    I could be wrong, but maybe it's time you asked her.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Katy, you never dated this boy, he was never yours. A crush doesn't mean that your sister isn't allowed to talk to him or even date him if she wants to.

    You need to let it go. Go out with your friends, find another boy to like, stop obsessing and watching what they are doing.

    They are perfectly within their rights to talk even to date. It wouldn't be the case if you had actually dated him, but liking him isn't the same.

    It's normal to feel disappointed but it's not normal to feel this angry or to be watching them like this.

    There's loads of other guys out there. Try to find someone else to like and who knows, he might be ten times better than Brian.

  4. #4
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    Are you willing to risk your relationship with your sister for a guy that you've never had a relationship with and probably never will? From your last post, it seems he is not interested. You brother was being kind and trying to let you down easy. So is Brian.
    You are mistaking your crush for a relationship. You have no say over what Brian does. The drama in the situation is because of you. Think about it: if you removed yourself from the entire thing, would there be an issue?
    You need to tell your sister--without judgement--that you are hurt. And you need to leave Brian alone. It stinks. It totally does. It is painful. But you have to put jealousy aside and realize that your sister is family and that Brian is...well....just some guy named Brian.


    PS--quit cyber stalking them; that will only make YOU miserable.

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  6. #5
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    PPS--if you are at the university age, it is time to stop having other people "talk to your crush" for you. If you can't work up the nerve to approach them yourself, then you are not ready for their reaction.

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    I honestly am not worried that he rejected me. I really don't care. Through this whole thing, it has made me realize that he isn't a good person. It honestly just makes me hurt that my sister would develop a relationship with him. It is like backstabbing. I am afraid that if I ask her about this AGAIN, there will be resentment and we already have problems with each other enough. Maybe I should just pretend that they aren't really talking....

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Was she talking to him before she knew you had a crush? Did she know who he was before you told her you had a crush on him?

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    Yes. She knew about him. She met him when she came to help my mom and I move our brother into his dorm room. She knew that I had a crush on him the whole time I was in college and up until now. She was the one who suddenly sent him a message last week telling him that I had a crush on him. I did not tell her to do that. He knew that I had a crush on him because my brother told him when they were roommates, but he was too afraid to reject me up until now. Since she texted him that night, i am suspecting they have been talking nonstop.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    So she basically only spoke to him to tell him you had a crush?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what either of them owe you. You're coming across as very controlling and meanspirited. Leave them alone. It's none of your business whom your sister speaks with. Let go of this Brian and learn to accept when things don't work out in your favour. This guy isn't interested in you at all.

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