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Thread: I don't know how to react to this.

  1. #31
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    A 17 y/o boy has enough raging hormones to know precisely what's going on in mom's bedroom when a man is there. This could make her incredibly uncomfortable. What's wrong with your place? Why not do that instead?

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    I must have posted to the wrong thread, because I thought I'd read that the crux of the issue had to do with a mother putting the breaks on overnighting in her bed while her sons are home. You may not view your objections to that as putting pressure on her, but it's hardly a large and unreasonable leap.



    Ahh. Now THERE is where I must have been largely and unreasonably presumptuous, because such an accusation is just so natural to me--I guess it fell onto the page when I wasn't looking.

    Given that I'd have raised the same considerations to a woman's complaint about a father's position against bedding with a lover in his teenagers' home while they are there, I didn't anticipate resistance to viewing such an issue through a parent's lens.

    You asked for input, and I believed that putting yourself in her shoes to consider a POV that you may not have thought of might be helpful in aiding your discussion with her so that it goes more smoothly for you. I believed that that was your goal, and I stand corrected.

    "Sometimes giving the appearance of being reasonable can actually be more effective than actually being reasonable." (I forget who said that, but I've always found it to be helpful.)
    I havenít made any objections to her. Nor am I going to. Nor had I said I was going to. This was the assumption you made. At least thatís the way I took it. If I was wrong, I apologize. The crux of the matter was I didnít know how to react. She is not the most communicative person in the world and the way she presented it to me was sudden and blunt. But thatís just her. I need to realize she wasnít trying to be thoughtless, she just has a lot on her plate and if Iím on board then I need to be supportive. She needs a shoulder to lean on and I can do that. We have limited time to see each other because of our schedules and this new dynamic limits our time even further. And yes, sex is part of the equation. Itís what makes the difference between being friends or lovers. But the assumption I made was that much didnít have to be explained. But of course it does! Iím a guy! I must be dirty and lustful with a one track mind! *sarcasm/levity*

  3. #33
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    A 17 y/o boy has enough raging hormones to know precisely what's going on in mom's bedroom when a man is there. This could make her incredibly uncomfortable. What's wrong with your place? Why not do that instead?
    That would be great, but she canít leave the kids home alone.

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