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Thread: Phone number given on online dating site

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    This comment reflects how just how inexperienced and naive you truly are z.

    Older men "play the field" just as often, if not more often, than younger guys.

    Many older men have been in either committed long term relationships or marriages that didn't work out, some ending very badly, and after having experienced that, have chosen to remain "single" and date casually, playing the field (as you referred to it), keeping options open.

    Also, I've known men men in the mid to late 40s who were more immature than some 20 or 30 year old men I know.

    It's not their age that matters, but their nature, their values, their morals, their character.

    These things don't tend to change with age, it's who they are generally and were most likely the same way in their 20s and 30s.

    Sure, many people will learn, mature, grow and evolve, but imo this doesn't change their basic nature and character.
    Not to mention all the ones who are playing the field... while married.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    These good guidelines and a good algorithm to follow. Remember the sheer volume alone with online dating requires a good strategy and most of all ruling out time-wasters and and other undesirables.

    Print this out. Don't play it by ear so much to the point where all you've got is "hot and checks boxes", then ponder if he's a catch after inviting you to a motel for the first meet.
    Originally Posted by saluk
    This "wisdom" is perhaps true during the ages of, say, 10-20, but I doubt it is meaningful beyond that. If you think you can avoid horny creeps by dating only older men you are in for a rude awakening.

    Dating really is the same as interviewing someone for a job. Your interviewing someone to determine if they are worth your time. Every step, until you decide to pursue a relationship with someone, (which should be after multiple in person dates) is a test. It can be fun too, but this person is a stranger. You need to make sure you have the right level of trust. Very little at first, and building that trust up gradually.

    When looking at a profile
    1. Does this person meet my attractiveness bar? Do I like something in their profile and there are no obvious dealbreakers*? yes/no. Swipe left if no.
    2. Does this person communicate well in opening messages? yes/no. Stop chatting if no.
    3. Does this person have values that line up with mine (for instance, do they mention sex before we first meet? creepy)? yes/no. Stop chatting if no.

    * You should know what your dealbreakers are

    When you meet in person, you really want to tease out some of the same things as 1-3 above, but seeing how those things are reflected in the actual person rather than their online persona. Are they attractive in real life? Do the two of you communicate well? Do they say things that earn your respect - or do they say things that give you caution? Do your values and life goals match?

    If that sounds like too much work dating is going to be rough, but online dating especially so.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by zzzz74032343
    Any step by step on online dating? now i'm really tired and have no idea what i am doing.
    Firstly : like the pictures
    Secondly : check out the profile
    Thirdly ..... etc... etc....
    Firstly: take a break from OLD
    Secondly: Focus on building a fulfilling life as a single person Thirdly: Figure out how to move past the fear and desperation that motivates you to pick unsuitable people to become okay with being on your own
    Fourthly: Decide what you can offer a relationship and what you want from one and focus on that instead of randomly picking people that “tick the boxes”.

  4. #24
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    Thank you everyone for the info, it's really helpful. I am going to have to take a bit of a break though i must say online dating can be quite addictive...... just to check who sent you that message :-)
    one other thing is you know there is this dress that i wear and i post that pic on my profile and it seems to be the picture that most people would say things like sexy etc.... although it's just a normal dress covering legs down to my knee and covering the top part of my arms but i guess the dress shows my physical attributes..... i mean where the waist is m where the hips ..... etc.... etc....


    I am thinking i should replace that pic as if i am portrayed as sexy then , the first thing men think of would probably be sex which is not what i am looking for or would want to be seen as some kind of sex object. I want something much more than that and long term thing.

    Your welcome for any ideas, advice from the experts , i am a novice , thank you.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by zzzz74032343
    Thank you everyone for the info, it's really helpful. I am going to have to take a bit of a break though i must say online dating can be quite addictive...... just to check who sent you that message :-)
    one other thing is you know there is this dress that i wear and i post that pic on my profile and it seems to be the picture that most people would say things like sexy etc.... although it's just a normal dress covering legs down to my knee and covering the top part of my arms but i guess the dress shows my physical attributes..... i mean where the waist is m where the hips ..... etc.... etc....


    I am thinking i should replace that pic as if i am portrayed as sexy then , the first thing men think of would probably be sex which is not what i am looking for or would want to be seen as some kind of sex object. I want something much more than that and long term thing.

    Your welcome for any ideas, advice from the experts , i am a novice , thank you.
    From what I hear most females get these kinds of comments no matter what pics they post. You know the old saying about "you'll have to beat the boys off with a stick!"? With online dating it's really true. The upside of those kinds of comments is 0% of them are worth responding to, so you can block and swipe next.

    And yeah, take like... a year or so off. You sound like you are dating for validation, which is a REALLY bad reason to date, and will get you into a lot of trouble.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    They may think you're a scammer or an escort service. Especially since you don't really want to date, yet continue conversations with men who want to make the first meet in a motel room. Keep in mind, this site is not a dating site or escort site and since you start multiple repeated redundant threads on "dating advice", yet dismiss and shoot down any advice offered it seems like you may be catfishing, trawling or scamming on here as well.
    Originally Posted by zzzz74032343
    one other thing is you know there is this dress that i wear and i post that pic on my profile and it seems to be the picture that most people would say things like sexy etc.... although it's just a normal dress covering legs down to my knee and covering the top part of my arms but i guess the dress shows my physical attributes..... i mean where the waist is m where the hips

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