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Thread: Am I the side chick?

  1. #11
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    The answer to your questions will be above but you are right. I need to come to my senses and see the clear picture. He says he wants a future with me but then again women will tell you what you want to hear. Thank you for your advice honestly !

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    What I'd be more concerned about here is not whether or not you are a "side chick" but why you're so scared to talk to your boyfriend of a year that creating a web of spying seems like a more sensible means of getting answers. No string of emojis can make that kind of thing cute or healthy, I'm sorry to say.
    blue, the way you worded that made me chuckle a bit, lol. But so so true!!

  3. #13
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Yeah, this doesn't sound good.

    I wouldn't worry so much about loaded ideas like "side chick," since that has all sorts of implications that may not be true. But what's clear is that this guy can't give you what you—or, really, anyone—needs to call a relationship, well, a relationship. He gets a version of it, but it's a thin version, since it exists in a kind of compartment that doesn't cross into the other compartment that is his life. He hasn't reconciled with his past enough to be present, and you're getting scratched up because of that.

    Yes, people are private and kids makes things complicated. But not this complicated. This is a man who is hiding from himself, and your relationship is his place to go to turn off the lights. Not good—for either of you, really. But the only person you can control is yourself, and you know you want more, and are worth more.

  4. #14
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    Thank you so much

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Shys281
    So he’s my first boyfriend. As I said he is very private so many things I don’t know. I have asked him many times during this year but he has just explained that he had a lifestyle before so is more private. Upon asking he has informed me that his child’s mother doesn’t know he has a gf as “it’s not her business” I have never met his mum and have only met 1 friend by default. He has said numerous times they are not together. He treats me very well and is an amazing father To be honest I had never experienced anxiety before him but I believe this is simply due to my overthinking.
    Also what u said is right but since he is SO private, mentioning that I even found out his ex’s full name or Instagram will cause a whole different situation
    You have been together for one year and have only met one friend. Girl, you are a secret! You should have met all of his close friends, as well as his family. This is a big problem.

    You've never been to his home! You are the side chick. This is not a relationship.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 06-18-2019 at 11:47 PM.

  7. #16
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    I would never continue to date a man who pretends that I don't exist.

    Yes, he is hiding you, OP. And it's probably because he harbours hope that he and his ex will reunite.

  8. #17
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    It’s not a relationship. More like situationship honestly. Thanks for your reply

  9. #18
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    I can’t even disagree with you sadly. I’ll leave them to it. Thank you :)

  10. #19
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    If you have to catfish to discover the truth after a year, you've got a lot more problems than whatever titles babymamas have and use. Are you actually dating in person and exclusively? Or is this someone you see casualty for sex and are now getting jealous/possessive?

  11. #20
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    I know right. We are exclusive boyfriend and girlfriend. Tbh if he is telling the truth and is genuinely that much of a private person then he is going about it the completely wrong way as it just seems suspicious. Smh

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