Sad,...ya' know?

I'm sad, and I don't really don't have anyone that I would be okay with sharing/burdening my sadness to, so I thought I would give this a try. It's easier this way anyway, I don't share my true emotions too much with people. So why am I sad? Honestly, I've always been sad for a long while now, even at my best moments, there in the background lingers my sadness just waiting for an opportunity to fuel itself into my disaster. I guess you could say I suffer with depression, not that I've been diagnosed or anything, I've always kept my depression to myself. The level of it goes from high to low, like waves, and I hate it. Sometimes I don't truly understand why I become sad, it's not like I want to be but it's always there to haunt everyday and night. I work hard, always remind myself of my life goals, and let myself dream big as long as I keep working towards it. I should be happy. I'm about to turn 22, mature for my age, when August hits I'm going to study abroad, and it's not like I am surrounded by terrible people. At the moment, I'm a waiter to save money for my study abroad trip, and I hate it. It's not terribly hard, it's just that it's really not the life for me; but, when it hits August 3rd [45 days to go], that will be my last day. Being a waiter takes so much time and energy from my everyday life, all I want to do is do what I love but at the moment doing what I love doesn't cover the cost of life. I cry a lot, I'm an emotional person because of my sadness, but I only reserve the emotions and crying for when I am alone. There is no point of this post, just thought maybe writing out my emotions will help me somehow. I'll work hard for what I want in life, it's just hard to motivate myself when work and depressions gets in the way, ya' know?

Why don't you see a therapist and deal with the depression?

Hey man, I just wanted you to know that I truly understand where you're coming from and I can relate to a lot of what you seem to be experiencing way more than you could possibly know. I'm also an emotional dude and will find myself crying at things that most people wouldn't be the least bit touched by. Sometimes it's the weirdest stuff that will cause tears to start streaming down my face but you know... I've kinda just learned to accept that it's how I am. Especially when I'm in any kind of depressive state.

I have noticed one thing for sure, and it's that I get way worse with the depression and extreme emotions when I've been sleeping poorly. There's a massive difference in my mood when I get good sleep compared to when I wake up after four hours and can't go back to sleep.

I was also struggling the worst right around your age, but I'd just encourage you to try and really tackle the underlying problems head on instead of letting them linger like I did for far too long. DO NOT shy away from seeking psyciatric/psychological assistance. Try a therapist, if you don't click, try another one. Eventually you'll find one that fits your vibe. It's almost like dating... it's a numbers game, and like any other job there are terrible therapists and then there are masterful, amazing ones. Just don't give up and actively try and tackle your issues. Get you health checked out, get hormone levels checked, make sure your vitamin D levels are healthy, all that stuff. Ask for a full blood workup, even. If you're all healthy as far as that goes, perhaps try finding a hobby that's active in some way. Perhaps you could get a puppy and train it, go for walks regularly, and have the most loyal friend you could ask for all in one.

There are a lot of things to try and I can't assume what will help you. It's different for everyone. But you're definitely not alone in feeling this way and I'd encourage you to vent all you want if you find it helps you. People here will be there for you when you need someone to reach out to.

I hope things improve soon. They will eventually if you really try.

It's not like I avoid it, I live with it, it's just that depression is hard one to crack for me. I've dealt with it multiple times before, it just always manages to come back somehow. I'll look into seeing a therapist, but until I have time to actually go see one, I'll do what I must to keep my head up. I won't give up.

It's not like I avoid it, I live with it, it's just that depression is hard one to crack for me. I've dealt with it multiple times before, it just always manages to come back somehow. I'll look into seeing a therapist, but until I have time to actually go see one, I'll do what I must to keep my head up. I won't give up.

I would think that this would be a priority considering everything you wrote.

I can't just drop everything at once to go see a therapist. I have responsibilities to uphold not only for myself, but many others. I have many priorities, seeing a therapist right away is not one of them. I have to work towards that. It's all working progress. I have to plan smart, not immaturely.

I've had major depression since I was child. Trust me when I say, you need to get this worked out or it's going to cast a dark cloud over everything and you will be less likely to achieve your dreams. This is an illness and it really needs to be treated so you can be your best self and fulfill your goals.

I take antidepressants daily and I see a therapist once in a while. It's a priority for me. I woild not be where I am today without treatment.

I can't just drop everything at once to go see a therapist. I have responsibilities to uphold not only for myself, but many others. I have many priorities, seeing a therapist right away is not one of them. I have to work towards that. It's all working progress. I have to plan smart, not immaturely.

Most people make excuses to not go to therapy. I guess you just have to want it bad enough. Apparently you aren't there yet.

When you get the point where you say `I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, you'll pick up the phone and make 45 minutes in your busy life a priority.

Since when is deciding to see a therapist unwise and immature?

I have to plan smart, not immaturely.

You guys are right, I just never been confronted with it so abruptly before, I needed a day a day to process the advice I've been given. I understand what I said is serious, I suppose looking at the overall picture, my way of dealing with it isn't exactly confronting the issue the most efficient/best way possible. Thank you guys for opening my eyes, I never realized how clouded my mind was. I'll start looking into therapist, my university might actually offer some sessions for me. I'll look into it, keeps you guys posted if you like. I'm not used to putting myself as a priority, but in order to help others you must take care of yourself first right? I really do appreciate the honesty you all have given me.

Would you judge a diabetic for needing to take insulin to stay healthy?

It's the same thing with depression. Many people need therapy, medication, a combination of the two, etc.

You guys are right, I just never been confronted with it so abruptly before, I needed a day a day to process the advice I've been given. I understand what I said is serious, I suppose looking at the overall picture, my way of dealing with it isn't exactly confronting the issue the most efficient/best way possible. Thank you guys for opening my eyes, I never realized how clouded my mind was. I'll start looking into therapist, my university might actually offer some sessions for me. I'll look into it, keeps you guys posted if you like. I'm not used to putting myself as a priority, but in order to help others you must take care of yourself first right? I really do appreciate the honesty you all have given me.