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Thread: My two best friends hate each other

  1. #1

    My two best friends hate each other

    So the thing we all have in common is we all worked in the same bar - after three years Iím the only one still working in the bar😂 but we remain freinds.

    So thereís my two girl best freinds and their partners - who Iím also close with.

    The two guys are good pals but the two girls repulse each other making me the in the middle freind constantly having to deal with one another moaning about each other and making decisions on who Iím gonna spend time with each time I get free time since they wonít hang out together :/

    I donít see what more I can do...I got them together a couple times and whenever they say anything negative about each other I just say ...I think youíve took this or that the wrong way and misunderstood one another

    When I say negative I mean prettied like - she didnít say hi to me, she drew me a dirty look😂🙄 girls are psychos 🥴

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    It sounds like you're part of the problem. Leave them alone and stop engaging in the 'girls are psychos' mentality. Make new friends. There are oddballs in every crowd. If you're attracting those types of people, that's on you, not on anyone else.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stop being in the middle. Immediately change the subject and do not gossip about, explain or defend anyone. It's not your war, don't be in the crossfire.

    They don't have to be friends and you don't have to hang out in packs. People outgrow each other. Start making a broader circle of friends, especially ones that don't engage in catfights.🙀
    Originally Posted by JupiterRain
    making me the in the middle freind constantly having to deal with one another moaning about each other and making decisions on who Iím gonna spend time with each time I get free time since they wonít hang out together.

  4. #4
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    I donít think you can force them to like each other, the best would be not to hang out all together. Just respect their personalities, and maybe try to make new friends.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    You sure do seem to be in the middle of a whole lot of drama girl...

    Are these the two best friends that are going to your exes engagement party at the bar where youíre being Ďforcedí to work?

    So theyíre canít stand to be around eacother but donít mind being around each other at the party?

  7. #6
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    They are trying to each "win" your friendship. Just shut them down when they starts to talk about each other. Tell them that whatever issues they have with each other is between them and not you and to leave you out of it. Don't let them goad you into saying something you don't mean.

    You can be friends with both, just let them know that you refuse to be in the middle. Don't try to bring them together; that is not your place. Just enjoy them separately.

  8. #7
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Each time you're with either one of them, play 'Switzerland' and let them know you will remain neutral. Tell them you will remain their friend as long as they don't give you an earful by badmouthing each other. If they do not honor your request and you're stuck in the middle of this feud, then let each of them know, you're bowing out of the friendship. Let them know you will remain civil and peaceful with them, however, you will not get together with them socially anymore because each encounter leaves you feeling awkward. This is what I would do. I would simply be very honest and tell the truth. I think this is fair to say to each one of them individually. Enforce healthy boundaries with them so you're not left feeling uncomfortable between two warring parties. If they do not abide by your requests, then it's time to surround yourself with new peaceful, respectful friends who know how to behave properly and like decent human beings.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Boundaries. "I adore you, and we can speak about anything in the world except for [her name]. Now what would you like to order for dinner?" When GF objects because, "...you are the only one who I can talk to about...," just skip the bait and hold your ground. You'll thank yourself immediately, and especially one day when they've kissed and made up and then YOU become the subject of THEIR conversation.

    This ain't no grade school. Right?

  10. #9
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    Pay attention to Catfeeder; girls who are petty and bickery like that have no problems turning on a dime as it suits them, and I would bet money that at some point in the future, these two will be thick as thieves, and you will become the brunt of their petty anger and bickery, blaming you for gossip, and blaming you for encouraging this continued division between these two because their friendship always caused jealousy and insecurity in you...basically you worked your magic to keep them fighting...they were sooo stupid to believe it.

    My suggestion would be to ask yourself if either of these women are worth your time. You may wish to expand to new friends with fewer claws. When either one of these girls starts b**ching about the other, tell them you do not want to hear it. You and "Becky" are going to have to deal with this on your own. I don't want to hear it.

    The likelihood one or both of them dumps you because you are no longer offering anything to their feeding frenzy is very high.

    It's rather immature and petty to put you in this position. I know we all have our fair share of complaining about mutual friends from time to time, but these two are really taking the cake, and it seems not worth it. What's the deal with them going to your ex's engagement party? Is there a reason they are obligated?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by purplepaisley
    My suggestion would be to ask yourself if either of these women are worth your time. You may wish to expand to new friends with fewer claws. When either one of these girls starts b**ching about the other, tell them you do not want to hear it. You and "Becky" are going to have to deal with this on your own. I don't want to hear it.

    The likelihood one or both of them dumps you because you are no longer offering anything to their feeding frenzy is very high.

    It's rather immature and petty to put you in this position. I know we all have our fair share of complaining about mutual friends from time to time, but these two are really taking the cake, and it seems not worth it. What's the deal with them going to your ex's engagement party? Is there a reason they are obligated?
    I agree with everything except that 'they' are putting 'you' in this position. Adults get to pick our own position--including opting out.

    It's a decision.


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