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Thread: Supervisor asked questions about co worker friends behavior..do I tell her?

  1. #21
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    Yes. She has yet to do so

    I just want to be left alone

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by icanhaz23
    Yes. She has yet to do so

    I just want to be left alone
    The problem is you interjected yourself into this situation with how you interacted with Abby so it's natural for her to ask you. Now you want to pull back. Pulling back can be challenging. You benefited because you liked feeling like a mentor. This is the downside. Just deflect/do not respond and she'll be forced to seek alternatives to get the information.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Don't say anything to anyone. I always deflect or act dumb when people at work talk about other people at work behind their backs and I never tell no one what the other person has said. It comes through an ear and it gets out from the other. Never engage in work gossip and never say anything bad about anyone at work to another co-worker that you wouldn't say to said co-worker in their face. I also don't vent about my frustrations with co-workers to other co-workers. Years ago I had two colleagues who hated each other and told me bad things about each other to me, I simply listened, nodded and was supportive but didn't tell anything to anyone. Saves me lots of trouble and headaches. Also this issue is not your issue, it's between them.

    If you're very concerned about Abby and her future in the company just say that you notice that she's checked out and is upset and that you're worried. You don't need to say anything else.

    PS: As to the case of the two co-workers who hated each other, if I witnessed one of them doing something malicious to the other that could potentially get the other fired, that's the only case I'd say something. But generally, I advise to dismiss.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tattoobunnie
    So, Jessica has visible proof that you talk crap about the company and your supervisor regardless if it's only during potty time. I'd walk away from your sinking ship friend's text stream.

    We fired two girls years ago over insubordination - they were emailing back and forth smack about their manager on company time. Apply to other places if you hate your job so much. Cuz I guarantee your friend Jessica isn't taking you places.
    I'd be concerned about ranting texts too that could easily get you in trouble. Call me paranoid, but even ranting with friends who are not co-workers, I don't like saying too much, especially not by text. Just do your job which is what you're paid to do. Anything else don't matter. Don't report anything to anyone, not your problem, not your business.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by icanhaz23
    I want Jessica to speak with her about her issues directly and leave me out of it
    There's your answer, all you need to do is say it.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    "Jessica" sounds incompetent. Don't do her job for her. Something about this three ring circus makes you feel powerful, when in fact your manipulations are backfiring.

    Stay away from Abby. Are you trying to date her? What's all this about 'having her under your wing', the secret toilet texting and encouraging her to trash your supervisor dressed up as "venting"?
    Originally Posted by icanhaz23
    Yes. She has yet to do so

  8. #27
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    So yesterday she finally talked to her and dressed her down very publicly and of course it backfired and her attitude got worse. Obviously I donít agree with her tactics. Abby is trying to take it up the ladder with the higher ups about how sheís being treated by Jessica

    But I stayed completely out of it and just did my work yesterday. Iím supportive of Abbyís well being as a friend and encouraged her to look for other opportunities since this just isnít working out for her.

    Jessica never wanted to be in this position, she took it to please the higher ups after the last supervisor got fired. This is why I never would advise people to move into these positions unless they really want it.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by icanhaz23
    So yesterday she finally talked to her and dressed her down very publicly and of course it backfired and her attitude got worse. Obviously I donít agree with her tactics. Abby is trying to take it up the ladder with the higher ups about how sheís being treated by Jessica

    But I stayed completely out of it and just did my work yesterday. Iím supportive of Abbyís well being as a friend and encouraged her to look for other opportunities since this just isnít working out for her.

    Jessica never wanted to be in this position, she took it to please the higher ups after the last supervisor got fired. This is why I never would advise people to move into these positions unless they really want it.
    I think you're doing a decent job at staying out of it. If I were you I'd even cut out the amount of input you've given - stay completely out of it. You have no idea what goes on with Jessica internally and your comments tell me you're still too involved/meddling. None of that will end well if you continue. For example apparently everyone assumed I would be back at work 4 days after giving birth (I was in management) even though I'd never said or implied such a thing (because it wasn't true in the least). Their perceptions of me as a professional colored what they thought I thought and wanted as far as my post-baby plans.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    What a mess. Good you are staying out of it. Both are in tough positions. Is the place kind of toxic otherwise?
    Originally Posted by icanhaz23
    So yesterday she finally talked to her and dressed her down very publicly and of course it backfired and her attitude got worse. Obviously I donít agree with her tactics. Abby is trying to take it up the ladder with the higher ups about how sheís being treated by Jessica. But I stayed completely out of it and just did my work yesterday.

  11. #30
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    yeah our top 2 mangers are feuding and trying to sabatoge each other

    Iíve actually been assigned projects by one that the other doesnít want done and then getting asked by the other why Iím doing it and it be taken away from me. Then the first one will tell me to do it without the other knowing

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