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Thread: Toxic Dead End Relationship

  1. #1
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    Toxic Dead End Relationship

    I have been dating a guy for 3 years, it started out as a good relationship, he was loving comforting, and a all around guy, he moved in with me, and things were good, till i realized he started drinking and he would start arguments for no reason, i talked to him about it, and he changed for a while,, about 3 months, then he displayed the same behavior, he would bring up my past relationships and ask questions about my ex's, i informed him i didn't want to discuss its my past, therefore i rather not discuss, he got upset, and started discussing things about my past that no one should have known, to learn while i'm out the house he would sneak through my personal things and he found a dairy i used to keep over 10 yrs ago with alot of emotional grief , he then sent me a picture to admit he read my dairy, i felt totally violated embarrassed, from there he would get drunk and use it aganist me, discussing 1 subject at a time, just to be hateful, some of those confessions involved molestation, rape, and past toxic relationship that involved abuse, from there be became very disrespect, constantly judging me based off what he read, It was hum, it caused distance from him, and i found myself not liking him as a person, i also struggle with major depression, and have to take meds at times, he would talk about me taking pills, and take pictures of them research them, and pick at me about taking them tell me, how bad they are for me, in arguments he would blame me and my medication for my actions when he was the one started the argument. so i had a heart to heart with him and explained my past, what happened and how he make me feel when he bring it up, he stopped for a while, soon as argument, he would text me horrible things, saying i gained weight im crazy, im everything but my first name, he got so bad he did this daily nightly, i got fed up and put him out and told him we were done, because i realized that he was toxic and he has done this so long to so many women, i have a good family support and i thought about how i was weak, getting rapped and molested, and i now that im a adult i have the chance to control what i accept in life from whom, i kept thinking making he will change and realize but he never did, i felt i would be settling, now we have broke up got back together often, but this time, i cant do that, so if he apologize abd change his ways and sincere about it , should i take him back or keep it moving, because he has good qualities, as well but i need more than that, i'm tired of his ways, and i say no, what can i do to let him no im serious this time?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. You can't fix alcoholic/problem drinkers. You were wasting your life on him and his problems. Go and stay no contact delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps. Enjoy your freedom and reflect on what you want out of your life/relationships. Consider therapy to address past problems and whatever issues were involved in this toxic situation.
    Originally Posted by luv2win3
    he moved in with me, and things were good, till i realized he started drinking and he would start arguments for no reason?

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    Thank you i think thats my best bet, to live a happliy.

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I agree with the above comments. Don't try to fix him. This is finished. You will find more qualities in new people you meet. Don't lose faith and be true to yourself.

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    I'm sure Hitler would have been nice to his dog...

    I mean everyone can have "some" good qualities. This guy sounds awful though... Like I'm reading this and just thinking he sounds like a terrible awful person... I would not give him a second chance. Run.

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    Of course you should not take him back. How many times does he have to abuse you! The guy is a sadist and enjoys hurting you, and on top of it, he is an alcoholic. Do not take him back, and get yourself into counseling. Now!

    Block and delete this piece of garbage! You have already lost 3 years with this bully, time to move on and find someone decent.

    If you are in doubt, then I suggest you refer to the title of your thread.

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    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Your options are limited because he's a raging alcoholic. If he A) gets treatment and B) you both go to counseling, there are possibilities. The only other thing you can do is move on and date other men.

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    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    Your options are limited because he's a raging alcoholic. If he A) gets treatment and B) you both go to counseling, there are possibilities. The only other thing you can do is move on and date other men.
    This goes way beyond alcoholism. He is downright mean and likes to hurt her by throwing previous abuse (molestation and rape) in her face. She should not take him back under any circumstance. Did we read the same thread?

    Luv, do not date until you get at least a year of counseling to deal with current and previous abuse.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 06-18-2019 at 02:13 PM.

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    I thank all you guys for your encouragements , i know it is my best interest o let it go and i am prepared to move on, or i no it will get worse and besides he not willing to accept he has a drinking problem.... i needed this support. Thanks all

  11. #10
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    You shouldn't even be asking us if you should take him back! Why on earth would you want to stay with such a nasty, selfish and disrespectful individual? He will not change, OP. As you stated "he has done this so long to so many women". You don't need this malicious person in your life. His "good qualities" definitely outweigh his bad ones. So sorry you wasted your time with him but at least you recognise that this relationship is very toxic; good for you! Please do yourself a favour: run as fast as you can.

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