Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 40

Thread: I need advice

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    32

    I need advice

    So, my childís father and i split in November. I have a restraining order against him, but he is able to have contact with my daughter. His sister is the designated mediator between us two and whatever communication he needs to have with me has to go through his sister. So since we split, he barely sees her or communicates with her. So tonight he called our daughter to tell her he wants to take her to the beach on Tuesday. My main thing is feeling uneasy about her going anywhere with him and his girlfriend, the girlfriend who decided to take to Instagram and give him a Fathers Day shout-out and in the same post call me a bitter baby mama. (Never had an encounter with her or even met her and because i donít speak to him AT ALL or have him on child support or prevent him from seeing his kid.) then my next thing is ďifĒ i allow her to go, then he needs to go through the proper channel which is his sister. This whole thing seems childish but i know him and he is a manipulator and a joke. However i donít want to deny my daughter the opportunity to build a relationship with her father. Help me, plz.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    11,261
    Why don't you "have him on child support"?

    Why does he have to have supervised visits?

    Is he allowed to take the child on a journey unsupervised or will his sister have to go with?

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    32

    I need advice

    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Why don't you "have him on child support"?

    Why does he have to have supervised visits?

    Is he allowed to take the child on a journey unsupervised or will his sister have to go with?
    He HAS to communicate to his sister his plans for our daughter because thatís where i will drop my daughter off. My daughter is 8, and she is not the messenger. He is not suppose to ask me anything directly via the restraining order. The visit is not supervised or has to be, it just has to be arranged properly and through his sister who is the designated contact amongst us per the restraining order.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Age
    29
    Posts
    15,313
    Gender
    Female
    If you're worried, why not reach out to his sister to inquire about details of the upcoming visit? That may put your mind at ease.

    Don't worry about the girlfriend - she's powerless here. No doubt that he's spun some story about how meeeaan you are and how the judge is against him, blah blah. She doesn't know the whole story so pay her no mind.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    32
    Originally Posted by Fudgie
    If you're worried, why not reach out to his sister to inquire about details of the upcoming visit? That may put your mind at ease.

    Don't worry about the girlfriend - she's powerless here. No doubt that he's spun some story about how meeeaan you are and how the judge is against him, blah blah. She doesn't know the whole story so pay her no mind.
    That was my next option. Thank you so much!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    5,669
    Gender
    Female
    I'm wondering why he isnt paying child support, he should be.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    33,273
    Gender
    Male
    Child support is for your child and as the parent/adult it's your job to procure it and petition for it. If you feel "uneasy", revise the visitation situation to ensure supervised visits. Make someone not related to him and more neutral the designated mediator. You can also choose neutral exchange areas such as libraries, schools, police stations, etc to facilitate scheduled and supervised visits. You are not legally able to 'deny my daughter the opportunity to build a relationship with her father'. It's not even your call. Legally he has the right to visitation.

    Make sure everything is in writing and there is adherence to the visitation schedule. Do not confuse your child with ad hoc visitation or deprive your child of her right to child support. Stand up for your child. This is all in your control and things you should do for your child and your peace of mind. Do not get wrapped up in petty nonsense such as his gf's social media.

    Immediately block and him and all his people from all your social media. Reset all your privacy settings. There is a lot more you can do to improve this situation besides just getting a restraining order and getting upset about his gf's social media posts. Focus on more positive and constructive actions. Stop winging it and stick to the law. Make the laws work for you and your child.

  9. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    32
    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    I'm wondering why he isnt paying child support, he should be.
    Not relevant to the question asked.

  10. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    32

    I need advice

    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Child support is for your child and as the parent/adult it's your job to procure it and petition for it. If you feel "uneasy", revise the visitation situation to ensure supervised visits. Make someone not related to him and more neutral the designated mediator. You can also choose neutral exchange areas such as libraries, schools, police stations, etc to facilitate scheduled and supervised visits. You are not legally able to 'deny my daughter the opportunity to build a relationship with her father'. It's not even your call. Legally he has the right to visitation.

    Make sure everything is in writing and there is adherence to the visitation schedule. Do not confuse your child with ad hoc visitation or deprive your child of her right to child support. Stand up for your child. This is all in your control and things you should do for your child and your peace of mind. Do not get wrapped up in petty nonsense such as his gf's social media.

    Immediately block and him and all his people from all your social media. Reset all your privacy settings. There is a lot more you can do to improve this situation besides just getting a restraining order and getting upset about his gf's social media posts. Focus on more positive and constructive actions. Stop winging it and stick to the law. Make the laws work for you and your child.
    Legally he has no rights, I have the right to make any decision, considering there is no visitation schedule or anything that pertains to him having rights. We were never married nor has he established legitimation. So basically itís whatever I agree to, not what has been designated. The restraining order only specified him seeing his child because i asked the judge to make it clear that he should and could continue the relationship with daughter aside from our differences as long as itís properly arranged. The decision of child support is ultimately mine and not what the main topic of this thread was,nor asked to be addressed. The restraining order came amongst us splitting because he threatened my life and my job with a gun, another ďnon mainĒ issue or point of this thread being posted. I do agree a lot more can be done going forward to avoid ad hoc situations etc. I have been winging it, thinking itís best for my daughter as long as she has any opportunity to see him. Thank you for your advice. Iíll do my best to focus on more positive and meaningful things to help this situation.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    20,210
    Why is he not paying support? This is very relevant to your child's well being.

    You should be going through the court for visitation and support. The child needs more stability.

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •