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Thread: I need advice

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Child support is for your child and as the parent/adult it's your job to procure it and petition for it. If you feel "uneasy", revise the visitation situation to ensure supervised visits. Make someone not related to him and more neutral the designated mediator. You can also choose neutral exchange areas such as libraries, schools, police stations, etc to facilitate scheduled and supervised visits. You are not legally able to 'deny my daughter the opportunity to build a relationship with her father'. It's not even your call. Legally he has the right to visitation.

    Make sure everything is in writing and there is adherence to the visitation schedule. Do not confuse your child with ad hoc visitation or deprive your child of her right to child support. Stand up for your child. This is all in your control and things you should do for your child and your peace of mind. Do not get wrapped up in petty nonsense such as his gf's social media.

    Immediately block and him and all his people from all your social media. Reset all your privacy settings. There is a lot more you can do to improve this situation besides just getting a restraining order and getting upset about his gf's social media posts. Focus on more positive and constructive actions. Stop winging it and stick to the law. Make the laws work for you and your child.
    Totally agree with all of this.

    You are not serving your child's best interests.

    This guy sounds like a lunatic. Was he arrested?

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's your call to ask the court for a paternity test and to get child support. It's a disservice to your child to do everything randomly off the cuff. Why not give your child the gift of structure and stability you never had growing up? Why perpetuate chaos into the next generation?
    Originally Posted by forlofeluv
    Legally he has no rights. nor has he established legitimation.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    It's your call to ask the court for a paternity test and to get child support. It's a disservice to your child to do everything randomly off the cuff. Why not give your child the gift of structure and stability you never had growing up? Why perpetuate chaos into the next generation?
    I said that i didnít have him on child support, i didnít confirm or deny if he was giving money for her. I asked a question that has nothing to do with the direction the conversation is going in. I didnít ask for support on the issue of child support.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Why is he not paying support? This is very relevant to your child's well being.

    You should be going through the court for visitation and support. The child needs more stability.
    I said that i didnít have him on child support, i didnít confirm or deny if he was giving money for her. I asked a question that has nothing to do with the direction the conversation is going in. I didnít ask for support on the issue of child support.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if this is an option but if the restraining order is lifted in the future and is no longer needed then, have you considered using a coparenting app to talk to him? These apps exist and allow two parents to talk to each other about the kid. There are tools specifically for coparents and you can monitor and save all conversations. Just an idea. Seems like going through the sister is burdensome but if he's under a restraining order, well...

    Why does he have one anyway?

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by forlofeluv
    I said that i didnít have him on child support, i didnít confirm or deny if he was giving money for her. I asked a question that has nothing to do with the direction the conversation is going in. I didnít ask for support on the issue of child support.
    Why not?

    Why haven't you gone through the court?

    Why won't you answer our questions?

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Fudgie
    I'm not sure if this is an option but if the restraining order is lifted in the future and is no longer needed then, have you considered using a coparenting app to talk to him? These apps exist and allow two parents to talk to each other about the kid. There are tools specifically for coparents and you can monitor and save all conversations. Just an idea. Seems like going through the sister is burdensome but if he's under a restraining order, well...

    Why does he have one anyway?
    He threatened her with a gun. All the more reason for her to go through the courts. I don't get her thinking.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    He threatened her with a gun. All the more reason for her to go through the courts. I don't get her thinking.
    You want me to go through the courts for what specifically? Youíre asking about child support an my question was pertaining to letting my daughter go to the beach with him and his girlfriend and whether i need to reiterate how he is supposed to use the proper channel. I donít understand your thinking as you arenít focused on the matter but more focused on analyzing child support. I appreciate your answer, itís just not one i think answers my question/questions.

  10. #19
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    I need advice

    Originally Posted by Fudgie
    I'm not sure if this is an option but if the restraining order is lifted in the future and is no longer needed then, have you considered using a coparenting app to talk to him? These apps exist and allow two parents to talk to each other about the kid. There are tools specifically for coparents and you can monitor and save all conversations. Just an idea. Seems like going through the sister is burdensome but if he's under a restraining order, well...

    Why does he have one anyway?
    I think that could work if heís willing to use it as well. And i took the restraining order out when he pulled a gun on me and threatened my life, my brotherís, my job, and also had his a relative come to my house where we were living to fight me. This was all over the fact that i didnít tell him my brother came to ďourĒ house. I didnít understand how it was an issue, but thatís what led to us arguing about it and him pulling the gun. He didnít see or speak to my daughter for a month until our court day which is when i decided he should stay away from me, but i was willing to make arrangements for him to continue his relationship with our daughter. Granted Iíve only gone through this once, this being the first time, so i donít know all of the answers, but i definitely want to do whatís best

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by forlofeluv
    You want me to go through the courts for what specifically? Youíre asking about child support an my question was pertaining to letting my daughter go to the beach with him and his girlfriend and whether i need to reiterate how he is supposed to use the proper channel. I donít understand your thinking as you arenít focused on the matter but more focused on analyzing child support. I appreciate your answer, itís just not one i think answers my question/questions.
    You are focused on the gf and a beach date, not more important issues. The court should be determining the visitation through someone who is not a relative. You should also be receiving support for your child. Why aren't you doing these things? Why won't you answer the questions?

    Was he arrested???

    Who cares about the gf, you should be looking at the big picture.

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