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Thread: Left for no real reason

  1. #1
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    Left for no real reason

    I've been here years ago.

    Here we go. My girlfriend moved in with her kids. Everything was going so good. We had an amazing vacation together. We talk non stop every day. I mean it was perfect I was so happy and she said it also many times

    After having an great weekend away with the kids it turn for the worse very quick. It came down to a wedding a year away and I could give an answer if i could go right away with my work schedule. With in an hr she add alternative ideas who she could go with. It was an destination wedding a year away. We could have booked in the new year for Just a few hundred dollars more. But she could waited.

    Of course I was up set and said if it was my friends wedding and you had to wait to see or couldn't go. I said I wouldn't go without you. It put me in a bad mood for a few days. I work away so for me voicing my opinion on it she said I was controlling never in my life have I ever been called that

    Next thing it was her birthday a few days later. Because of the disagreement I wasn't invited out. She said it was only girls night out. Come to find out there was boyfriends and husbands there. I was left at home on her birthday. So I was upset again and then she called me controlling.


    The day I left to go to work and getting on my second flight she texted me and said she was moving out. She called me immature and controlling. No matter what I said I couldn't convince her to stay.

    No the worst part is I truly loved her and still do. She left and with the kids. I'm having such a hard time with because I'm not that person she claims I am. Just like that she was gone. No I know she had a rough go with realationship but I shouldn't be put in the same category as them.

    I really do love her and wish she would just talk to me

  2. #2
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Hmmm...I bet she's got another guy you dont know about. If things are as you say, it doesnt make any sense.

  3. #3
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    I would speculate she met someone else or has been "talking to" her kids' father.

    You'll say "I know her, no way is she interested in someone else", but it almost always is the case. That's why it seems "for no real reason" to you. She didn't tell you for obvious reasons.

  4. #4
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    She is going through a messy divorce. 100% sure not with the dad of the kids just 4 days before we decided to book a vacation with the kids and my family and nephews. It was a big deal and surprise for them

    It just really sucks we talked all the time many times through out the day and now nothing. We planed so much together. I'm stuck at camp working and it's the worst feeling ever right now. To the point of having panic attacks

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You may miss the company and action but this was a bad scenario fraught with problems particularly letting her and her kids move in. Use this time to reflect and calm yourself from all the action/adventure and drama. Decide if you want a viable relationship with a stable woman or this type of drama. You were just collateral damage and a pawn in her "messy divorce". You can do much better than that. Be glad you're free.
    Originally Posted by To nice
    She is going through a messy divorce.

  7. #6
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    I just dont understand how she could go at a blink of an eye honestly this was our first disagreement. I'm a bit older now and I can say she was the one. Plus I became attached to the kids. I do want her back it seems like a nightmare thats going on. The simple things as hearing good night and morning everyday . I'm so overwhelmed by this and I dont know if I can handle it.

  8. 06-18-2019, 12:28 AM
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    Troll

  9. 06-18-2019, 12:32 AM
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    Refers to deleted post

  10. #7
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    She's upto something. Breakup out the blue? Saying you are controlling etc is all putting the blame on you which is usually a sign of guilt. Only she knows whats shes been upto. Only other thing i can think is of shes being horrible to make you dump her so she can be free and not look like the bad person. I'd consider this/her done.

  11. #8
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    Nothing is out of the blue my friend. Its like been boiling in her mind for sometime and she used this wedding as an excuse to bring it up to the surface. Case in Point: She calls you controlling. You might not agree with it and wonder how can that be, but instead of dismissing it. Why don't you listen? But I digress.
    I don't think its over, but there are a lot of issues going on other than this wedding and controlling. So why don't you suggest couples counseling? If you are serious, this is a serious step in resolving issues. If she doesn't agree to go, then you have your answer and you can say you tried. But even if she doesn't want to go, a few sessions with a counselor specializing in relationships will do you a world of good anyway.
    good luck

  12. #9
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    Originally Posted by To nice
    I just dont understand how she could go at a blink of an eye honestly this was our first disagreement. I'm a bit older now and I can say she was the one. Plus I became attached to the kids. I do want her back it seems like a nightmare thats going on. The simple things as hearing good night and morning everyday . I'm so overwhelmed by this and I dont know if I can handle it.
    Um, no she is not "the one."

    You are her rebound guy. Sorry, you are hurting, but be glad she has moved on. She has latched onto either a new guy or the one she is "divorcing."

    Good luck.

  13. #10
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    I agree with No1. How could it be perfect if she is calling you controlling and moving out because of it?

    Based on the above post my guess is she had some concerns that she tried to talk about that you dismissed because you didnít feel like they were accurate. Thing is, we all have blind spots when it comes to ourselves and sometimes the only way we see them is when they are reflected back on us by other people.

    While she does seem a little immature and selfish, itís also possible that you are more controlling than you realize.

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