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Thread: Feeling Used and Sad

  1. #11
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    Jun 2019
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    Thank you. I guess he was 'fed up' like you say, but the good times keep ringing in my head. how do I move on? What steps do I take?

  2. #12
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    Jun 2019
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Did you have anger issues? I couldn't tell you whether he was rebounding with you, whether he's rebounding now, or if breaking up "a few times" before was enough to get his head in the right place to move on quickly. I don't know just how much history he had with this woman before, but plenty of people do keep up with exes. You can have your own rule that exes shouldn't be friends, but that doesn't mean others have to follow it. And if you went through however many years and couldn't find so much as a flirtation, it looks innocuous enough.

    Look, I don't know what your relationship was like to come up with an amateur diagnosis. I do know that if you did have anger issues and you were demanding he "cut out" someone who is friendly with his sister and who's a colleague of his cousin, it's not exactly the best look. There's nothing you can do about him. You'll never know what was going through his head and when. All you can do is reflect and improve on yourself if there would be any benefit to it.

    They knew each other for a long time before they dated, because of mutual friends but were together for about 4 years I think. I never demanded anything, I just asked him to stop communicating with her and to take down her pics. He still had family pics on his social media with her in them. Whenever we argued, I yelled and I threw a book at him once. He doesn't yell so I guess he thinks I have issues.

  3. #13
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    Jun 2019
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    Originally Posted by maew
    He told you what he felt the problem was in the relationship... that you acted out in anger. Not that you are totally at fault as it always takes two to create a conflict, however I think focusing on whether you are the rebound is a pointless exercise. I suggest focusing on whether there is truth to what he is saying and looking at how to change that behavior in the next relationship.
    He used to tell me that I 'poked' at him too much to cause the conflict and then I would end up yelling at him. I was coming to terms with whatever was bothering me about him, that's why we were going to therapy.

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