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Thread: so I don't know what to do now

  1. #1

    so I don't know what to do now

    so I'm a (27)man. I've been with my girlfriend (26) for about a year and a half now. she is really nice and sweet and we have quite a few things in common, however about the last year things have been all over the place, we have really good days. but there are also really bad days. lately she has been accusing me of cheating a lot (I will admit I have a few female Friends) but I'm not that sorta person, I think its morely wrong and wouldn't do that to someone.

    Now this is where the "problem" comes in. so this girl (25) added me on snapchat and messaged me saying things like she thinks i'm good looking. I've spoken to her a few times so I know she's a real person, she has asked me out to dinner, also she has sent me some pics of herself (not erotic ones). now being completely honest I'd say that my GF is a 6 possibly 7 whereas this girl is definitely a 10 (possibly the best looking woman I've ever seen).

    alright so I love my GF but I can feel that the trust that use to be there just isn't there any more, and it feels like she just keeps pushing me away some times. However I don't want to give up on everything that we've done together and all the memory's we've made since being together. On the other hand tho I do really like this new girl plus we seem to get on really well, but she does smoke (something I really don't like) and she lives over an hour away and I don't drive yet.

    Any ideas thanks :/

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    If you're assigning numbers to women based on their looks, and allowing other women to ask you to dinner and send you photos of themselves, I'd say your girlfriend needs to run far away.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    No wonder your girlfriend has trust issues - you are chasing other girls.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I agree with Sarah.

    Your girlfriend's accusations about you cheating are not coming from a place of cray cray. They're coming from intuition, which she's just a hair too insecure to listen to. She knows you've got a wandering eye—meaning not simply an appreciation for female beauty, but an eye that's wandering in search of something better, saucier, whatever.

    Which, well, you are. A random hits you up on Snap, telling you you're good-looking, and your reaction to that is to engage? Well, that is being a piece of sh*t boyfriend and a piece of sh*t man. I know you don't like reading that—clashes with your self-conception as not being that "sorta person"—but time to man up and own it. If you were the "sorta man" you think you are, that message would not have been responded to, or that exchange would have been cut off the moment it got saucy.

    Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you're a monster. But this relationship is not bringing out the best in you, or in her, and it sounds like that's been the case for a while now. The big boy thing to do here is to own that. You have two choices at that point: commit to seeing if things can improve, or part ways, accepting that you're not compatible. But to be exploring a Plan B while still in Plan A? That's shady af, my friend. Good looking you might be, but that ain't cute.

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  6. #5
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    I do not understand why you did not block this woman, if you are not that guy. You are emotionally cheating.

    Regarding your girlfriend, you need to end the relationship, as there is no trust. And in the case with the new girl, your gf is right. End the relationship with your gf, as she deserves better than you.

    You sound very shallow and untrustworthy.

  7. #6
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    Yeah, I know, it's not your fault hot chicks hit you up.

    What IS your fault is a) not shutting it down if you truly love your girlfriend or b) not breaking up with your "6 or 7" girlfriend when you really want a 10.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    So you base the value of a woman on her looks? Wow.

    I can tell you that looks don't mean a thing. I have met the biggest jerks in my entire life, that were also the best looking.

    Besides, let's be honest here,..you're not meant to be looking!! For that reason alone you don't deserve a girlfriend.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I also feel sorry for your girlfriend. She's sitting there not even knowing that her bf is telling the world she's a 6-7 and this other random is a 10.

    Good god...poor girl. :(

  10. #9
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Now this is where the "problem" comes in. so this girl (25) added me on snapchat and messaged me saying things like she thinks i'm good looking. I've spoken to her a few times so I know she's a real person, she has asked me out to dinner, also she has sent me some pics of herself (not erotic ones). now being completely honest I'd say that my GF is a 6 possibly 7 whereas this girl is definitely a 10 (possibly the best looking woman I've ever seen).
    It's probably your girlfriend pretending to be some other chick because its clear to her that you don't respect romantic relationship boundaries and she is s*** testing you to see how you accept and accommodate women like that.

    People who don't respect or have good relationship boundaries in place often find themselves in emotional or lame online romances because they begin to bond with the person they are crossing boundaries with.

    Why don't you look at this more maturely and as a responsible boyfriend who has chosen to be committed to one woman and shut down brazen women that don't even bother to make sure you are single before sending you those kinds of messages?

    Either honor your commitment and shut down bs like that when it occurs or leave your g/f and be single while you act it.

    Originally Posted by Gary Snyder
    No wonder your girlfriend has trust issues - you are chasing other girls.
    Yes, no wonder. It says a lot about you Op that you don't even consider why your g/f is jealous or insecure in this relationship with you.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Are you sure you're ready to be in a relationship? It seems like your current relationship is one out of convenience rather than any real consideration for your partner. The questions you're asking based on your situation are a bit odd. Don't underestimate the kindness of others or take the people around you forgranted. I firmly believe we receive back from others what we put out there. You're going to get hit hard by your actions now or later at this rate. It's not too late to turn your life around and start treating others better.

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