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Thread: What to do when a date blows your mind?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I'm not sure why you're fighting it so badly. Enjoy it. Obviously not everyone you meet will be interesting enough to induce you to see them again. Be at peace and just see how it unfolds. You're worrying too much about trying to control your enjoyment and I think it's a little harsh on yourself.

    I remember what it was like when I met my husband after we connected online. The chemistry was instant and undeniable. Follow your instincts and don't worry yourself over nothing.
    I echo Rose on this.

    To add, enjoy what you're feeling, it's exciting! And very rare.

    Just lower your expectations, don't worry about where it's going, or even what it all means, simply live in the moment and allow it to take you wherever it's meant to take you.

    If it doesn't work out, cherish the memory.

    As I said, feeling that instant connection is very very rare, so embrace it and enjoy it!!

    Try to not overthink it.

    Good luck and keep us posted!

  2. #12
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    I would say I'm being logical, I'm aware I don't know him, I'm aware he could be full of Bee Ess, I am not interested in jumping into a relationship overnight. Would like to go on more dates to get to know him and find out more about him. Keeping my options open. I have dates lined up with other people who are interesting. I don't think I've gone too googly eyed, though I can see that might have been the impression from my first post.

    Just not used to feeling like this after a date and not really sure what to make of it. It's a nice feeling but a bit confusing tbh. I am not the type to get blown away by people. Even the date I had before him. Absolutely lovely woman, had a fantastic first impression of her, but wasn't fascinated or whatever it was that I'm feeling about him. I'm trying to place what I'm feeling. I don't know what it is lol. I rung my bestie to tell her what a great date I had. I've never done that before in my life. Who knows maybe the next dates with the other people will be as awesome. Then I will be in a pickle 😂😂

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    I echo Rose on this.

    To add, enjoy what you're feeling, it's exciting! And very rare.

    Just lower your expectations, don't worry about where it's going, or even what it all means, simply live in the moment and allow it to take you wherever it's meant to take you.

    If it doesn't work out, cherish the memory.

    As I said, feeling that instant connection is very very rare, so embrace it and enjoy it!!

    Try to not overthink it.

    Good luck and keep us posted!
    I think this was good advice, I wouldn't say I'm worried, I'm feeling good, somewhat fascinated by the new sensation, mostly confused haha. I am aware I need to not overthink or I will cause problems for myself. Just seeking advise on what to do to avoid that. Its easy to say, don't overthink it but that's not necessarily easy to do. I usually play badminton when I'm thinking too much but that's not on until Friday!

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have fun on date two. Enjoy the walk in the clouds.

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  6. #15
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Did you two kiss?

    That's great, butterflies are fun! The first rule is to go by your gut; your head and your heart are liars.

    The next thing is to make sure he loves you as much or more than you love him. He who loves less has the power - he has less to lose.

  7. #16
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    thornz, being that you're a logical peson by nature, you're trying to attach logic to something that is not logical.

    It's chemistry/energy, there is no rhyme or reason, nothing logical about it.

    Chemistry, love, the great energy you're feeling (which hopefully he's feeling too) is intangible.

    My sense is you're more cerebral than emotional, so this feeling is throwing you in a bit of a loop.

    I can't help you w that as I am an emotional person by nature and understand this feeling very well.

    I've experienced it only a few times in my life, it's very rare, by my god it's a beautiful feeling!!

    Don't knock yourself out trying to understand it, embrace it!
    .

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm afraid you can't control the way you feel. You can only control your thoughts and your actions so be mindful of your thoughts and actions. If you feel flighty and impulsive and think or act in a similar way, you'll achieve results related to flighty and impulsive as reactions to your thoughts and actions. If you feel flighty and impulsive but think and act mindfully or remain aware and kind to others or yourself, you should have the same returned to you. If you don't, you might want to check your company.

    Take it easy and just be yourself. We all learn eventually.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thornz
    I am not the type to get blown away by people.
    I'm just going to challenge you a bit.

    I can't read the above sentence as factual, since your last post, if we zoom out a hair, was very much about being "blown away" by a man as well. In that case, as in this case, it took very little for him to get deeply under your skin to the point where you were dissecting it all on here.

    Yes, that experience was negative and this one positive, but they're flip sides to the same coin. They add up, at least to my eyes and ears in the bleacher seats, as evidence that the business of dating really, really blows you around.

    I mean, even what you're saying now about having some other dates lined up and foreseeing a "pickle"? Well, that's preemptively creating the winds to be "blown away" in yet another way. It's making drama where there can be simply dating.

    Inhale, exhale. See him again. Meet up with some other people. When connections prove to be strong the chips tend to fall into place pretty easily. But the more you can let go of all the stories about where those chips are going to land, the more you can enjoy it, genuinely, being blown sweetly with your feet still on the ground.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by thornz
    I would say I'm being logical, I'm aware I don't know him, I'm aware he could be full of Bee Ess, I am not interested in jumping into a relationship overnight. Would like to go on more dates to get to know him and find out more about him. Keeping my options open. I have dates lined up with other people who are interesting. I don't think I've gone too googly eyed, though I can see that might have been the impression from my first post.

    Just not used to feeling like this after a date and not really sure what to make of it. It's a nice feeling but a bit confusing tbh. I am not the type to get blown away by people. Even the date I had before him. Absolutely lovely woman, had a fantastic first impression of her, but wasn't fascinated or whatever it was that I'm feeling about him. I'm trying to place what I'm feeling. I don't know what it is lol. I rung my bestie to tell her what a great date I had. I've never done that before in my life. Who knows maybe the next dates with the other people will be as awesome. Then I will be in a pickle 😂😂
    An intoxicating feeling most definitely... but why confusing? My guess is that it's because your head is muddled with feelings while also trying to stay logical. This is totally normal when we have chemistry with someone. Just remember that chemistry is not a sure thing, it doesn't mean the relationship is "meant to be" just that you are attracted to him physically and as a person right now. Enjoy the attraction and get to know him without chasing or rushing into anything... let it be reciprocal and flow at the pace it's meant to and see where things go... and if it doesn't work out then don't worry about it. Sometimes these moments are just the universe's way of showing us that we are capable of such feelings so that we can open ourselves up to the possibilities.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Between now and the next date read up on infatuation.

    Great dates are fun! But that instant chemistry thing you just described can be a really good thing - or a really bad thing.

    The reality is. . you don't know this guy. When you become infatuated, you inject your fantasy traits into those areas of the unknown.

    So, now you've got this fantasy man who you are losing sleep over.
    What are the odds he's really as fabulous as you think he is? Or better, you want to think he is.

    It's not impossible, but it's a high that can blind you and lead you down the wrong path.
    So in the meantime, read up on it some, manage your expectations some and keep a clear head.

    In my personal experience, those instant high guys ended up being my worst nightmare.

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