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Thread: Dating advice

  1. #1
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    Dating advice

    I met this person online and so far we went on the first date having dinner at a restaurant. Then the second date we went for hiking up and down the mountain with beautiful scenery which was really nice. I had lovely time. He paid for all the 2 dates which i also offered to pay but he said next time and i felt i had to also return his favour ......Then the third date He was invited to my place and i cooked some food for him which gave me an opportunity to return his favour . So all the 3 dates were nice and i really had a good time. I do get on very well with him and he seems very thoughtful giving me thoughtful present something to do with my hobbies and what i am interested in. I do really like him. The only think is that i do not feel the attraction. So far we met and i could imagine spending time with him and have so much fun but i could not imagine kissing or having anything physically intimate with him.

    This morning i popped online on the dating site and i saw him online and i kinda feel like he might be annoyed with me being online. I am now not sure what to do as for the reason below:
    1. I love his company but still cannot find that level of attraction
    2. I am not sure what to do really..... as if i continue to meet up with him then i guess he would expect me to be off the dating site and whilst i still cannot feel the attraction... then what should i do

    He ticks all the boxes though which is very rare, and this is the only problem that i have.........

    He would not normally be my type at all but recently i have been more open as it is very hard to find someone who ticks all the boxes.

    Any advice would be appreciated
    Last edited by zzzz74032343; 06-17-2019 at 07:15 AM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's best not to string anyone along you merely see as a friend. Tell him that that is all this can be. Be sincere with people. People will be online and meeting people until they determine they want an exclusive relationship. The exclusive talk often happens before or when sex is introduced.
    Originally Posted by zzzz74032343
    The only think is that i do not feel the attraction. So far we met and i could imagine spending time with him and have so much fun but i could not imagine kissing or having anything physically intimate with him. This morning i popped online on the dating site and i saw him online and i kinda feel like he might be annoyed with me being online.

  3. #3
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    Perhaps itís too soon to reach a conclusion after 3 dates, but if you don't want to kiss him and you donít feel attracted to him, maybe itís time to let it go.

    I also wonder if he is not trying too hard (giving presents after 3 dates). If a man is Ďtoo niceí, it can be a turn off.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    When it comes to relationships, not being attracted is more than a problem, it spells a complete dead end no go.

    Don't get fixated on theoretical check boxes, it's not how chemistry and attraction works. After 3 dates, you've given it enough of a shot to warm up to him. Don't string him along anymore or try to over think this. If he asks for another date, just decline politely, otherwise you might not need to do anything at all. He seems to be online looking for other dates as well. Perhaps the lack of chemistry is mutual.

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  6. #5
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    With no attraction, he's a potential friend. The longer you drag this out or debate it, the more likely there is no chance that a friendship can happen (if you want one with him). Best to let him know with a simple "no chemistry" explanation but that you enjoy his company and would like to keep in contact or hang out every so often.

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    he wanted to meet up again today and i just told him that i dont feel the chemistry between us so far but i have so much fun spending time with him and love his company. I hope it's best to be honest. he is so sweet .

  8. #7
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    i wonder if men get hurt when a women he likes ,tell him she doesn't feel chemistry towards him?

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by zzzz74032343
    i wonder if men get hurt when a women he likes ,tell him she doesn't feel chemistry towards him?
    Why would you think men wouldn't get hurt by something like that? Would YOU be hurt if you liked a guy and he told you he didn't feel chemistry toward you?

    Men have the same feelings women do.

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Why would you think men wouldn't get hurt by something like that? Would YOU be hurt if you liked a guy and he told you he didn't feel chemistry toward you?

    Men have the same feelings women do.
    Oh god, i just told him in a general conversation as if it's just a normal thing and then went on about how much i enjoy the dates. I hope he is ok now......

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by zzzz74032343
    Oh god, i just told him in a general conversation as if it's just a normal thing and then went on about how much i enjoy the dates. I hope he is ok now......
    I'm sure he is OK. Being "hurt" doesn't always mean a total devastating breakdown.

    If he's online dating I'm sure this isn't the first time a date didn't turn into a long term relationship.

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