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Thread: Onward.

  1. #41
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    Yeah it doesn't work that well. I got burned on my thighs a long time ago because of the spray on stuff. I gave up using it. Now I just use the regular stuff.

  2. #42
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Well you can bet I went right out and got some good stuff! I also got some Neutrogena face stuff with high SPF because like I said before, I've been getting laser hair removal treatments, and they say that being tan will make the treatments be less successful. As someone with PCOS and very dark body hair, I am actually a prime candidate for the treatment. It's nice being a prime candidate for something for once!!

  3. #43
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    Where are you getting the laser hair removal done? As in, what part(s) of the body?

    I am lucky in that while I too have pcos, I am not hairy. I've never had to shave my face or elsewhere, just legs and pits.

  4. #44
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    You lucky duck!

    I am getting my chin and breast bone done. They had a summer special at a local place. I researched it pretty heavily before doing it, as I guess some places advertise as being laser hair removal, but actually they don't use FDA=approved equipment, and aren't certified. This company is and nurses are the ones that perform the treatment.

    I've been twice so far and started seeing results in about 3 weeks, just after a hair follicle's life cycle. The hair is growing back more slowly and not as thick as before. It's been about 2 months. You're supposed to get treatments every two months, but I had a touch-up appt just one month afterwards so now my next appt is at the end of August. I'm really happy with the results so far. I would recommend it!

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  6. #45
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    Been almost a month since I've posted. Well, I've been going to lots of PT and my back is completely healed. I am back at work but will still go to PT. Getting my school application ready.

    I had a family reunion that was.... awkward to say the least. I have an aunt (by marriage) who is really freaking irritating. I'm hoping I don't have to see her again for a good long while and in glad she lives out of state.

    I went to visit my cousin recently. Had a grand old time, as always, and his mom commented that she thinks we act like siblings who have known each other for years. That made me smile and I agree with her.

    I have to be honest, I think my relationship with my cousin is really filling a missing piece in my life and it's actually making me not want to date. I've always wanted unconditional love and companionship and I feel like I'm getting that from a family member, not a partner. Plus I am able to satisfy myself sexually. Essentially, I am finding I have no incentive to put myself on the market.

    It's kind of a weird feeling but I've been thinking more lately and that's what is making sense to me. I feel very at peace and my life feels "full". I am healthier than I've been in a while, physically, emotionally, professionally, and even sexually. Life has been treating me well and I look forward to starting school as I work.

  7. #46
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    I've been daydreaming a lot about house ownership. It's years off (I anticipate 3 years of school before I'm making even more money) but I have Zillow and another real estate app downloaded onto my iPad and sometimes when I feel like it, I go browsing.

    I want to live in a more rural place, not suburbs, I don't want neighbors if I can help it. Don't mind a commute but I think when you're like me, having grown up in the country, it spoils you. I am used to having fires when I want them, seeing a full starry sky, full time silence/nature noises, and having loads of space.

  8. #47
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Fudgie
    Been almost a month since I've posted. Well, I've been going to lots of PT and my back is completely healed. I am back at work but will still go to PT. Getting my school application ready.

    I had a family reunion that was.... awkward to say the least. I have an aunt (by marriage) who is really freaking irritating. I'm hoping I don't have to see her again for a good long while and in glad she lives out of state.

    I went to visit my cousin recently. Had a grand old time, as always, and his mom commented that she thinks we act like siblings who have known each other for years. That made me smile and I agree with her.

    I have to be honest, I think my relationship with my cousin is really filling a missing piece in my life and it's actually making me not want to date. I've always wanted unconditional love and companionship and I feel like I'm getting that from a family member, not a partner. Plus I am able to satisfy myself sexually. Essentially, I am finding I have no incentive to put myself on the market.

    It's kind of a weird feeling but I've been thinking more lately and that's what is making sense to me. I feel very at peace and my life feels "full". I am healthier than I've been in a while, physically, emotionally, professionally, and even sexually. Life has been treating me well and I look forward to starting school as I work.
    Do you think having this kind of friendship with your cousin will keep you from trying to date? I don't know, it feels kind of weird... it reminds me of some years back when I thought about my close relationship with my mom, and how we were so in tune that I was afraid of that "emotional incest" title. I'm sorry if this idea offends, it isn't meant as such - I just feel like your brain is telling you that you're getting what you wanted from K out of your cousin now, and while it's great that you feel so connected and in tune with a family member, I worry that you will withdraw from other social things entirely. I'll also mention that part of the reason it didn't work out with K was that you were not fulfilled sexually with or by him, and that hasn't changed now that you're alone... it just means that you're no longer under any stress about pleasing someone else or being pleased by someone else.

  9. #48
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Fudgie
    I've been daydreaming a lot about house ownership. It's years off (I anticipate 3 years of school before I'm making even more money) but I have Zillow and another real estate app downloaded onto my iPad and sometimes when I feel like it, I go browsing.

    I want to live in a more rural place, not suburbs, I don't want neighbors if I can help it. Don't mind a commute but I think when you're like me, having grown up in the country, it spoils you. I am used to having fires when I want them, seeing a full starry sky, full time silence/nature noises, and having loads of space.
    I think about this often, too. I have lived in a city and in the country, and there are things I love about both. I really enjoy the availability of amenities where I'm at currently, but I'm renting and although we have a nice yard, we are not allowed pets and we want to move out of state where it's colder. If we could move our rental house and yard a couple states north, that'd be super!

  10. #49
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    Do you think having this kind of friendship with your cousin will keep you from trying to date? I don't know, it feels kind of weird... it reminds me of some years back when I thought about my close relationship with my mom, and how we were so in tune that I was afraid of that "emotional incest" title. I'm sorry if this idea offends, it isn't meant as such - I just feel like your brain is telling you that you're getting what you wanted from K out of your cousin now, and while it's great that you feel so connected and in tune with a family member, I worry that you will withdraw from other social things entirely. I'll also mention that part of the reason it didn't work out with K was that you were not fulfilled sexually with or by him, and that hasn't changed now that you're alone... it just means that you're no longer under any stress about pleasing someone else or being pleased by someone else.
    I get what Fudgie is referring to. S is out of town for two weeks and I've spent most of my free time with my friends. It makes me rethink my relationship. I feel fulfilled with my friendships. They don't deplete me the way a romantic relationship does. Plus unlike a romantic relationship, I get to go home alone and enjoy my free time on my own and get caught up on things.

    I am back to work this morning feeling more rested and more at ease than had I spent the weekend with S.

  11. #50
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
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    I'm not offended at all. I like to get feedback, hence the journal. I totally get what you're saying. As for the EI angle, I don't know. I know I had EI with my dad, big time, but it's different here because I didn't grow up with this family member and there isn't a power dynamic (like parent/child, uncle/nephew, etc.) I don't really know. My therapist doesn't think it's that big of a deal.

    It's true that socially, things have been changing for me, but that's less because of my cousin, more because an old friend of mine has moved back to my city! I am so happy, love her.
    I am trying to distance myself (well, have been for a long time but I'm working more on it now) from a couple friends I met in school
    I find them very catty and dramatic... yet boring at the same time. Does that make sense?

    Anyway, so I guess I'm hanging out with fewer people now but I like the people I am with more so I guess that's good.

    As for the sexual thing, yeah I wasn't satisfied. Now I'm not getting anything but I'm feeling okay. I guess the pressure is off a lot.

    Something that I feel distinctly is that it's so nice to be free from someone trying to get you to fit into their ideas or ideals, "molds" if you will, of the future. I've never met someone whose path was parallel to mine so I always felt pulled in other directions. Maybe that's a part of relationships but that was always something I deeply resented. Now, I am free from that.

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