Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 10 of 13 FirstFirst ... 78910111213 LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 122

Thread: Onward.

  1. #91
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Florida
    Age
    30
    Posts
    2,472
    Gender
    Female
    Fudge, are you sure you can't just be honest with your boss about the effect that this job is having on you? That you don't want to jump ship at all, but for your own mental health, you really need to swap your shifts around to better accommodate? I feel like since it's so short-staffed atm, it wouldn't be a reason for them to let you go or anything.

  2. #92
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Age
    30
    Posts
    15,365
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Oh Fudgie. I can totally see how that must wear on you. I don't know how you do it day in and day out. Maybe you should cry about it a little.
    I know I would, but that's me.
    I have no words. I hope you get some much needed time off soon.
    I probably would cry about it but my coping mechanism is numbness and emotional distance. I wouldn't be able to get through this job if I didn't do that. Last week, I took down a 20-something brain dead patient for organ harvesting. Her parents were holding her body and just sobbing, knowing that in just a matter of minutes, her heart and vital organs would be pulled out and put into neat little ice boxes. I saw other staff members cry. I felt sadness for sure but also just distant, like I was watching a movie or something. Again, coping mechanism.

    I could go on for hours about the crap I've seen. It's actually terrible. I also fundamentally disagree with a lot of what I'm doing but that's a story for another day.

    I think other people at my job seem to cope because they form close friendships with coworkers. I am just not that type of person and don't (never have, never will) form friendships with coworkers. That would not help me and I don't like talking about my feelings with strangers, just my therapist.

    I am off for a stretch of time. I need this break and I intend to use it to the fullest.

    Originally Posted by WithLove
    Fudge, are you sure you can't just be honest with your boss about the effect that this job is having on you? That you don't want to jump ship at all, but for your own mental health, you really need to swap your shifts around to better accommodate? I feel like since it's so short-staffed atm, it wouldn't be a reason for them to let you go or anything.
    Unfortunately, it's not really possible. When shifts are that short staffed, switching me makes it so that the shifts I'm coming off are actually undoable. As in, they CANNOT actually function safely and within the laws/policies of our facility and outside help is sought and brought in. It's a big overhaul. Right now I just can't switch.

  3. #93
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,341
    Gender
    Female
    I've watched my son, as well as his father and others in law enforcement make crass jokes amongst themselves about other peoples misfortunes. From a distance it seems so insensitive until you realize that that's their way of coping with what they have to deal with.

    I hope some time away helps, Fudgie. I can't imagine.

  4. #94
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Age
    30
    Posts
    15,365
    Gender
    Female
    Absolutely, reinvent. I definitely make crass jokes around my family about my job. They get it. Every single one of my coworkers has a very sick sense of humor too. Beyond closed doors, it's all vegetable patch jokes. "Watering me vegetables". My boss does it too. We would never joke that way in front of anyone else but it's a coping mechanism, absolutely. If you can't laugh what are you going to do? Cry? Its the only way I can emotionally shield myself and protect myself.

    The entire part of last week I took care of people who are basically functionally dead. Breathing machines, tubes, etc. Their brains are so damaged they will probably never wake up. It's not like a medical coma. But the families have a lot of hope so here we are. People don't understand its not like TV, you don't just wake up. We try to educate and such but it doesn't always help. Eventually, a lot of these people die.

    I can't tell you the number of times I've worn myself ragged trying to stabilize some of these people, despite futility and then the family says "no more". Pain meds are ordered for comfortable, we pull the breathing tube, and I watch them and the monitor as it all dwindles to 0.

    Anyway, that's about it. I am doing my best to hang in there. Come this upcoming summer, I will make a choice on whether or not to stay. I am interviewing for school now and I want a weekend gig for sure. The classes are mostly online but I want the whole week off so I can study and not worry.

  5.  

  6. #95
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    10,341
    Gender
    Female
    I think of my moms final days of intense suffering. The highly charged emotions and me not at my best while dealing with the nurses. I try to imagine that times 10, 5 to 7 days a week for you. It's hard to wrap my head around.

    Some must have some special calling for the type of work you do. I suspect those few might be highly spiritual in some way. Some of the nurses were angels of some sort, some were human and others shouldn't even be in that industry.

    I've never really looked at it from this side, but I so admire what you do. I know I couldn't handle the stress.

    Take care of yourself.

  7. #96
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Age
    30
    Posts
    15,365
    Gender
    Female
    Thanks reinvent. I am not spiritual (anymore) nor an angel. I am just human and I am trying to do a good job and make a good living at the same time. I try to do right by the patients and families. Deep down I don't feel that I am making much of a difference anymore. At the end of the day, these people are still hurting a lot. I really need to leave this field and I am doing what I can to get out.

    I have recently started my 2nd job. It's in a different place, more chronic people, so change of pace and I'll be doing more desk work and supervising others. Heaven knows I need the change in scenery. Plus the money doesn't hurt.

    Just doing my best here. *sigh*

  8. #97
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Age
    30
    Posts
    15,365
    Gender
    Female
    I am so bloody sick of some of my so-called "friends" (I can barely call them that, I see them and will hang out with them but I'd never trust them with anything important to me or confidential) giving me unsolicited advice. Actually, advice should be "advice" because it's the most bogus stuff I've heard in a while.

    These people have absolutely no f__ing idea how I live my life, what is truly important to me, or even when I do in my free time that doesn't involve them. How are they qualified to give me advice? Did I ask them for advice? NO I didn't!

    "You should quit where you work and go work <insert place here>" with absolutely no idea of what I want/need in a job in terms of hours, duties, responsibilities, benefits.
    "You should use Tinder/try dating again" when I haven't complained about being lonely or wanting sex. How about you go sit on a cactus? That's better than Tinder for sure.
    "You should try being vegetarian." Excuse me, are you my doctor? Did I ask you for dietary advice? Then shut up, you don't know my dietary needs.
    "Maybe you should wait to go back to school." Maybe you should wait to get married - oh wait, did I say that out loud?

    I've rebutted their pitiful advice but I still continue to get it. I get that they are all engaged/married and I can't help but feel that they think I'm really pathetic because I'm not even trying to strive for the same things that they are. I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid in one of their weddings next year (I was semi-bullied into accepting it, I really wasn't wanting to do it at all. I told her it wasn't my thing and that it was expensive but she BEGGED and BEGGED) and part of me wants to tell her to find someone else and lose my name off the invite list while she's at it.

    I'm really irritated right now.

    Well, here what is going right:

    School stuff, working a TON, fat paychecks, feeling a LOT better about money, relaxing at home a lot, spending lots of time with family, down a pant size recently (with little effort on my part, yay), and reading a LOT more than I used to.

    My thirties are going to be the years of ME. M-E. Me myself and I. The things I want to do. The things I have to do. The things I need to do make my life even better for ME. Anyone who gets in my way is going to be run over or bypassed.

    I've wasted so much time, so many years, in pointless relationships....worrying about my "daddy issues"...being depressed/anxious over things I can't really control...for what? What did I gain? Nothing.

  9. #98
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    16,360
    I have a feeling your 30s are going to be kick a#@...and good for you:)

  10. #99
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    53
    Posts
    36,893
    Gender
    Female
    Donít waste your life on bullshyte and stress. You see what it did to me.

  11. #100
    Platinum Member Fudgie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Age
    30
    Posts
    15,365
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by itsallgrand
    I have a feeling your 30s are going to be kick a#@...and good for you:)
    Me too! I can't wait to make more moves in my career and start really getting what I want out of my life.

    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    Donít waste your life on bullshyte and stress. You see what it did to me.
    You're absolutely right. I'm determined not to let it bother me.

    Speaking of BS, I occasionally see K - not one on one, but in friend groups (we share a specific hobby, it's kind of unavoidable). He's been appropriate but he has let me know that he wants me back. Well, tough nuts, it's not going to happen. He recently told me that he feels that my "quality of life has degraded since we split" and that he thinks he's good for me.

    Yeah, alrighty then. Sorry, I just laughed internally when he told me that. This whole thing is just laughable.

Page 10 of 13 FirstFirst ... 78910111213 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •