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Thread: Was everything more exciting with his ex?

  1. #1
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    Apr 2019
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    Was everything more exciting with his ex?

    Hi everyone,

    so I have been dating this guy for a few months. We had a 3 months break also, then back together again, because we somehow do not want to live without each other.

    We had ups and downs, but managed to sort out everything.

    But there is always something new that makes me feel uncomfortable.

    He was with his ex for 5 years and they have a little girl together. Now it has been almost 4 years they are not together anymore. He had some relationships before her, but she was the first serious one and I think that nothing will be as good as it was with her.

    When we started dating, he was whining sometimes about how it ended, that she was terrible and she did not want him to see his daugther etc...so I was like "wow, not really good memories".

    Even that his facebook is full, and I mean really full, of pictures of her. I would say it was just few pictures of him and friends from a past and more than thousand of pictures of her. Because he probably did not do anything special before he met her, you could see pictures of everything they did, starting with a first day out with her and his colleagues after 2 months of dating, every single small trip, some quite intimate portrait photos (photography is his hobby), images from all holidays, dinners, parties with friends....I do not have him as a friend on facebook because I did not want to see it anymore.


    We have been dating for over a 6 months and honestly, we do not do much. He says he does not have much money left for having fun, which I understand. He pays lots of things, car, mortgage, child maintenence....we have been to very few trips and 3 dinners, but he always seems quite sad and never has taken picture of me. Or anything else. It seems like he does not enjoy going out anymore. He takes pictures of his daughter when they are together, or animals. But never of me. Everything was probably more exciting with her. Now it is just something he has done before and he has to do it again, because he is in new relationship.

    I asked him why he never takes pictures of me. If he is ashamed of me or what. He said that he would take picture of me if I did not argue. I said, I would not argue if I felt at least half important as she was for him. Then he told me I do not appreciate what he does for me and sent me home.

    He treats me nice usually, he says he wants to grow old with me and does nice things for me...but I think he is stucked in a past. You can see the saddness in his eyes.

    Is this normal?

    Thank you

  2. #2
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    If you sense he is still very sad about losing his ex, you need to walk away.

    Regardless of how he feels about her, and I agree that he misses her, this doesn't sound like the sort of relationship you are looking for. You're not wrong in your needs and desires, but you appear to be looking to the wrong man to meet them.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Cut your losses. This is not about his ex or being a single dad, you simply have too many 'up and downs" and are not compatible. On/off relationships indicate that. He has a child and that will be a lifelong responsibility and bond. At best you'll be a free babysitter one day. You need to end it and date childless single guys. Also some therapy may help you come to terms with feeling way too attached way to soon and feeling inferior to anyone's past relationships.
    Originally Posted by poetry
    We have been dating for over a 6 months and honestly, we do not do much. Everything was probably more exciting with her.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    If you think his heart is stuck in the past relationship, it probably is. Many people go through a rebound period after breakup and are not ready to love another yet.

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  6. #5
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    I think you should find a new bf. What exactly are you getting from this relationship? It sounds depressing.

    Does not sound like he is over the ex. You can't compete with that.


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