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Thread: Regret of my actions during the relationship

  1. #1
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    Regret of my actions during the relationship

    I think that we both contributed to the breakdown of our relationship but I can't help feeling overwhelming regret of my actions in the relationship.

    I wish I was more communicative, friendlier and had more hobbies and friends during the relationship which I now am but it's too late... I keep telling myself that this will make myself better for my next relationship but it doesn't help.

    I just can't stop feeling regret and wishing I could have him back.

    For anyone who has felt the same as me, what have you done that has helped you get over this feeling?

  2. #2
    Gold Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    Time. You have to give yourself lots of time to heal eventual old wounds. Pain will always be there. However, it will lessen and once other aspects of life overtakes you, today's pain will one day become a blur.

    Also, continue surrounding yourself with healthy influences and good people because in-person socializing trumps all else. Aside from hobbies, focus on your health, exercise daily, eat right, get busy and do that until you're too tired to feel regrets.

    Tell yourself: 'One door closes and another (door) will open for you.' It's one foot in front of the other and try to think positively for your future. It's no use continuing to look back all the time. The past is history. Move forward.

    Pray for strength, courage, resiliency and wisdom.

  3. #3
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    Remaining in touch with the ex because of a pet is what is holding you back.
    What have you done about that?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's not all your fault. You were simply not compatible any longer. Stop contacting him and stop using the cat to maintain a connection. It won't be pretty when you are there 'visiting" the cat and his new gf walks in.

    Do all these things you mentioned for yourself now that you are free and get a new pet. Also see a physician for a checkup and a referral to a therapist if you feel you are having a protracted or extreme reaction.

    So stop stewing and start doing. 1) Stop all contact and delete and block him from all social media and messaging apps. 2)Get more involved in your own life. 3)Get a pet for yourself, stop using the cat excuse. 4)Get a checkup and rule out depressive or anxiety disorders.. Unless you are doing all these things, you are not helping yourself move forward.
    Originally Posted by WAlien
    I wish I was more communicative, friendlier and had more hobbies and friends

  5.  

  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by WAlien

    I wish I was more communicative, friendlier and had more hobbies and friends during the relationship which I now am but it's too late...
    I think you need to stop beating yourself up about this and regretting what is essentially "you," who you are, your nature and personality.

    Unless there's more to it that you're not sharing, when a man loves a woman he is not going to leave her because she's not more talkative or didn't have enough hobbies or friends. Trust me, not gonna happen.

    And if that's the excuse he gave you for ending it, I'm sorry but he's full of cr** and didn't truly love you in the first place.

    That said, moving forward if you want to make changes for yourself, then that's terrific, we should all strive to improve areas within ourselves we believe our lacking while also remaining true to our own natures.

    Time heals! That's really the only thing you can count on.


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