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Thread: Financial Issues with Boyfriend of Two Years, Stay or Go? Please Help.

  1. #11
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    How have you tolerated this! It sounds like your are raising a teenage son. You have been enabling this bum!

    Get rid of this freeloader. He needs to go! Do not ever get yourself in a situation like this again.

    "you're supposed to support your partner through anything" Where did you get this idea? There is a difference between supporting and parenting a partner.

    He will not change! Find a partner who can pull his weight, in and out, of the house. Your bf is a parasite!

  2. #12
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    "you're supposed to support your partner through anything"

    Does this only apply to you, or is he supposed to be doing his share of "supporting" you?

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    "you're supposed to support your partner through anything"

    Does this only apply to you, or is he supposed to be doing his share of "supporting" you?
    I second this. There's a difference between support versus enabling. You've taken on the role of a parent to another adult. That's not 'supportive,' it's stunting both of you.

    I'd consider this a valuable lesson learned, and I'd move forward to conquer my fears of autonomy. I'd make it a private goal to surprise everyone, including myself, with my resilience and ability to bounce back from this to create a fabulous future for myself.

    Head high, and credit the BF for an adult ability to step up and land on his own two feet once he becomes an ex.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    How have you tolerated this! It sounds like your are raising a teenage son. You have been enabling this bum!

    Get rid of this freeloader. He needs to go! Do not ever get yourself in a situation like this again.

    "you're supposed to support your partner through anything" Where did you get this idea? There is a difference between supporting and parenting a partner.

    He will not change! Find a partner who can pull his weight, in and out, of the house. Your bf is a parasite!
    He is not your husband. If he was, you would have some savings to help if one of you was laid off and if one was, the other would pull the weight. And then the other would when the other person was sick or in need. he is not your "PARTNER" - he is your boyfriend. I think its best if you got a female roommate or moved to a small tiny cheap place and had boyfriend live with his folks or with a bunch of guys until he gets his stuff sorted out. The thing is also, he never pulled his weight. Ever.Your money should go into your future at this point_ saving for emergencies and whatever you wanted to happen in life.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj

    He will not change! Find a partner who can pull his weight, in and out, of the house.
    Don't find a partner. Find a female roommate who pulls her weight. And find guys to DATE. To have an enjoyable relationship.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You are now in a parent/child relationship and it's no surprise you aren't feeling attracted to the child in the house. You want a partner, not a deadbeat boyfriend.
    I am sorry he's depressed but it seems to benefiting him in some ways.

  8. #17
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    also, supporting someone means supporting them - cheering them on in their achievements, going to a funeral with them if they want you there, etc, not financially paying a boyfriend's way.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Emma BY
    He's only washed the bed sheets twice, because he says that's my responsibility. .
    This is very telling about his mindset ^^

    How exactly is this your job? Because it's `women's work' - or it's a fair distribution of work and taking care of the home?

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