Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 12 of 12

Thread: To be or not to be I guess

  1. #11
    Bronze Member kalikat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    so cal
    Posts
    264
    Gender
    Female
    It seems like you have been upfront with him from the beginning. So he knew early on that this was the situation. You still feel the same way about your choices. He wants you to change. Not going to happen. SO just tell him straight forward - this is who you are. You shouldn't feel anxiety with people in your life. Let him go. Tell him whatever you want him to know - that you do enjoy being in his company, etc. but if he can't accept the way you are, then it's time to move on

  2. #12
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,126
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by chronoid
    Thank you so much for replying!

    No1, thank you for the bluntness and straightforward questions! They actually helped getting some grasp on what's happening in my head. I think what I've been feeling is that the least I can do in this situation is to try and find a solution to somehow avoid the bad ending. I've mentioned breaking up a few times during the years and he's always managed to talk me out of it. He's really trying his best to keep us together though I don't see how he does it after everything that's happened...

    Break ups suck and someone is going to get hurt. Sounds to me that he is really relying on you for everything and it sounds like you are tired of it. You care for him but don't see a future with him. I think you are comfortable where you are and when he gets in the "lets move in together" mood, you can talk him out of it. But its starting to bother you. If it didn't, you would not of mentioned it.
    Also sounds like this guy is really leaning on you, I mean there are issues with him. He is dating a girl who clearly doesn't see a future with him and yet he cant or wont see it. So he is wishing and hoping by staying in your life, you will wake up one day and say "I really cant live without him". So to me, he is dependent on you for a lot and if that is the case it can drain you as well.
    So you can postpone the break up (which sounds to be inevitable) and waste your time and his or you can be the bad guy and break it off. It will hurt him but I can tell you that being honest is better than giving false hope. Dont leave a door open by saying "maybe...." or "We can still be friends..." He sounds like a stage 3 clinger and he might need a clean break. This way you are free to find someone and he is free to find someone.. That's how I see it.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •