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Thread: when you will never be together

  1. #1
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    when you will never be together

    hi everyone,

    when I first met A i didnt believe in love especiallly not love at first sight. I ignored him for a while, but we had a few conversations i found myself falling and it was too late.

    I accepted him for everything he was, is and could be. I loved him and still do with my inner being. When i ask myself why, I dont have a reason because he hasnt done anything to win me over.

    Its been five years and even though we havent had a date (i know its sounds crazy) i have been away for ed. and he was working on his successful business it

    seems likke we have gone through alot together. Because when i was having problems he was there to listen, he was a shoulder and I am not ready to let go. there wasnt anything physical but still

    I know those will say "get a life" "get a hobby" "find someone else" I have those things. I was trying to move on with someone else but i A was always in the back of my mind.

    Has anyone been thru this before? This level of intensity hurts alot and doesnt seem to fade with time.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Just because there's never been anything physical between you doesn't mean there can't be a great love between you...

    I find it rather poetic and romantic actually....

    Why can't you two be together...?

    Carus*

  3. #3
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    Why haven't you asked him out?

  4. #4
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    i dont feel that hes interested in me in that way. I have asked him but he makes excuses and he has other women who he dates.

    I know he is attracted to me so i dont know. Theres no explanation to why we talk to each other besides maybe he knows I enjoy the connection I feel with him otherwise I would feel a deep sense of lonliness. I think hes been there before.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    People choose not to date someone for various reasons and there may be things about you that he doesn't agree with or doesn't like but isn't comfortable being that honest with you. If you feel you're fine living in this dream world, I don't think there's anything wrong about it in general and you don't seem to be harming anyone.

    If instead what you really are doing is limiting yourself and self-sabotaging from finding a truly fulfilling relationship or aren't growing in your personal life (so much that it hinders your ability to find or nurture healthy relationships), then you've probably got bigger problems than this guy.

    It's really up to you and what you feel is best for yourself and your happiness.

  7. #6
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    Do you have friends and a full life?

    You are wasting precious years. You need to move on from this guy. This is not healthy.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by foreverblue
    i dont feel that hes interested in me in that way. I have asked him but he makes excuses and he has other women who he dates.

    I know he is attracted to me so i dont know. Theres no explanation to why we talk to each other besides maybe he knows I enjoy the connection I feel with him otherwise I would feel a deep sense of lonliness. I think hes been there before.
    You clearly know he is not interested. So what’s your question??

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You can be a 'hopeless romantic' and pine in unrequited love etc or you can get help for self-defeating thoughts and behaviors through therapy and find guys who do in fact want a relationship with you and love you.
    Originally Posted by foreverblue
    he has other women who he dates.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    I think you're imagining this "love" and actually getting high off your own fantasy. It definitely isn't healthy and will stop you from meeting someone who is acrually interested. However, you are an adult and get to choose whether you feed this or not.

  11. #10
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    Forever, What do you actually get from holding on to this fantasy? I think that you are very afraid of letting someone get close, so you cling on to this guy.

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