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Thread: Need help to understand a break up

  1. #11
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    He's just one of those people that can only enjoy the chase phase of dating. A friend of mine dated a guy like that. He even warned her that he only dates someone for about 2 or 3 months, then ends it because the thrill of the newness is gone. She didn't believe it. 3 months later he dumps her. She's hurt, and feeling stupid. Leave this guy in the dust.

  2. #12
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    Don't look at it as a break up. Break up implies you two were exclusive and Im going to say that he is talking to a lot of girls at the same time. There is nothing to salvage because you two were never really dating. Cant get back what you never had.
    He used you for what he wanted and told you things you wanted to hear.
    Let him go, and I rarely say this, but I would suggest never speaking to that guy again. Any communication from him will only hurt you.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by yasu
    Thank you for your answers! It really helps.

    Actually I just want to say that we know each other since highschool (meaning 8 years ago), and that he was the one who wanted me to take things more seriously.
    I tried to stay distant because I had some doubts and told him about it maybe twice, he made me feel so guity and horrible to even think that, that I had to apologized for 'hurting him'. He also wanted to be exclusive, he acted jealous even when I hang out with my male friends saying that he prefers to be there when I do so (but I never really cared about that).

    And to answer the question, we dated about 2 months and we have seen each other once or twice / week depending on our schedule (which was honestly the best I could offer with my work).
    He acted jealous when you hung out with male friends because he actually was jealous. I think this guy is insecure and into you more than he leads on to be. That doesn't mean you should just get back together with him, but so many guys (including me) like to pretend that they're aloof and just a player in the game, and in doing so hurt people by playing games with them. Because they're insecure. And they're terrified at coming off as needy or clingy. Which I believe men are totally more needy and clingy than women.

    When you started taking things more seriously and led on that you're developing feelings for him, he figured at that time you were going to be the one needing and clinging on to him. And he could make himself look super cool by blowing you off. You showed your cards and he kept his. And he knew what he was doing when he cancelled on you to meet up and talk. He knew you were hurt and wanted answers. And that empowered him. But went you finally went NC, that's when he got worried and reached out to you. I'd just let it go. Because he'll probably reach out to you again.

    This is just an observation and opinion, but guys can be very emotional and dramatic. And they cover that up by trying to be the opposite. As I used to (and still kind of do, though I'm trying to be more aware of it). But either way, good luck.

  4. #14
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    Just forget him. Too many games in a short space of time. Also on your part don't start off pretending to be someone you are not. Who wants to be arrogant anyway? Just be yourself!

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