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Thread: He Rejected Me - I Still Want Friendship

  1. #1
    Bronze Member ConfusedLady21's Avatar
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    He Rejected Me - I Still Want Friendship

    Okay, okay, hear me out.

    I wrote about him once before on here. He's the sexy, confident ambitious man that I've been swooning over for the last few months. I haven't been dating in a while, so unfortunately I made all of the novice mistakes with this one. I was too available. I overly flirted and complimented. I realize that those things are all turn offs. I got anxious and got shut down when I tried to push for him to solidify a date and time with me for the third date. (Note to self, NEVER ask for a date). He had just said that he wanted to see each other more the week before...

    Anyways, I'm a week into no contact after the rejection. Yes it STUNG, quite a bit. I actually cried a little (more than a little). But during this time, I've been analyzing the situation, on things we both did wrong, things I should've done different. After a week, here's how I'm feeling now:

    Truth is, he's a Romeo, and I am not the only girl that was swooning over him. I can't allow myself to put myself out there, my heart is now guarded after realizing this. With knowing that, realistically, as much as I wanted, I am not the girl for him... but I can't deny that I have learned more about entrepreneurship, money management, and life management from this man within a span a few months. When I was with my ex, we were idle, I learned nothing. Not that there's anything wrong with that. My ex was sweet, but I am trying to grow and I love surrounding myself with people trying to do the same. I can't help to be attracted to a handsome man with smarts.
    I still very much want to be his friend. I don't care if I never see him again, but chatting was so nice and I miss it actually. I'm thinking I will wait another week before contacting him. I want to have a friendship with everything clarified. Meaning I don't want to flirt, fool me twice shame on me. I want him to know that I am accepting of the fact that he is a lover of ladies and will continue to flirt. I want him to know I am accepting for who he is, a sexual male with a lot of fire in him still.
    Where do I even begin? Please, any tips will help.

  2. #2
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    So you'll be fine hearing about his dates with other women? What if he gets into a committed relationship with some other woman, would that hurt?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I have no advice that I think you would take or even appreciate.

    Trying to be platonic friends with a man that you are still very much crushing on is a recipe for disaster for too many (most?) people. If you are as naive as you appear (or a novice at dating if you will) then you will end up a friend with benefits or just feeling neglected and emotionally shredded because he doesn't give you enough of himself.

    Please keep yourself emotionally safe and just keep zero contact which will get you to the stage of indifference to him much quicker than you think.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member Gymgirl71's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So you'll be fine hearing about his dates with other women? What if he gets into a committed relationship with some other woman, would that hurt?
    Agree...I couldnít handle that..canít be friends with someone you have feelings for..Iíve been there and it sucks!

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member ConfusedLady21's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So you'll be fine hearing about his dates with other women? What if he gets into a committed relationship with some other woman, would that hurt?
    I thought about that too. During this week of no contact, I'm beginning to feel that "obsession" dwindle.. What helped me was realizing his game and his manipulative advances to get a piece. If he wants to speak openly about other women, I already know about them, so sure. I know it takes being emotionally intelligent to process that I am not his pick and be okay with that. I am willing to put myself to the test, I think I would be okay.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member ConfusedLady21's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Gymgirl71
    Agree...I couldnít handle that..canít be friends with someone you have feelings for..Iíve been there and it sucks!
    How was your experience? Feel like sharing?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    You could contact him and see where it gets you. If he's receptive to a platonic friendship with you, then great. However, don't be surprised if he isn't interested, drifts apart and fades away. Hopefully, you can take a hint and get the message before he ghosts or blocks you. Tread lightly.

  9. #8
    Bronze Member Gymgirl71's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ConfusedLady21
    How was your experience? Feel like sharing?
    Basically too much locker talk..I stopped reaching out period..

  10. #9
    Bronze Member ConfusedLady21's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    I have no advice that I think you would take or even appreciate.

    Trying to be platonic friends with a man that you are still very much crushing on is a recipe for disaster for too many (most?) people. If you are as naive as you appear (or a novice at dating if you will) then you will end up a friend with benefits or just feeling neglected and emotionally shredded because he doesn't give you enough of himself.

    Please keep yourself emotionally safe and just keep zero contact which will get you to the stage of indifference to him much quicker than you think.
    I definitely can't do Friends W Benefits. I felt crazy without him even touching me.

  11. #10
    Bronze Member Gymgirl71's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ConfusedLady21
    I thought about that too. During this week of no contact, I'm beginning to feel that "obsession" dwindle.. What helped me was realizing his game and his manipulative advances to get a piece. If he wants to speak openly about other women, I already know about them, so sure. I know it takes being emotionally intelligent to process that I am not his pick and be okay with that. I am willing to put myself to the test, I think I would be okay.
    He Sounds kind of manipulative and perhaps narcissistic..

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