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Thread: Mrs C

  1. #1

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    Mrs C

    Not sure what write really, I will cut a long story short I fell in love fresh out of school at 16 with a Czech national fast forward 14 years and we have four sons are married and we are living three years now in Czech Republic with his parents living with us in what is called the family house.
    I don't dislike Czech my I have and dispise my situation, I don't speak much Czech but I know enough to get by my husband has never bothered to teach me when I ask for help he just switch to Czech speaking only and that is not helpful. His parents hate me and my Englishness they have disregarded house rules pay no attention to what I say etc etc the most serious things were they hit my children and the farther in law dragged my eldest into the house buy the back of the neck and pushed him into his room! There are many other instances that are to numerous to list most is emotional abuse rumour spreading and invading personal space and generally disagreement in everything from gardening to how I dress my children and how I spend money ect since all this has happened I feel so much emotional pain it's unreal I tried talking to my husband we have sat down with his parents and brought up all the offending issues for his mother to defend his dad to say it isn't true... That I tell lies and I over exaggerate! In the end it always end yeah won't happen again blah blah blah but it always dose the violence against my kids no longer happens. Thank god but everything else dose and my husband doesn't talk to them and mention it I dare say he doesn't even listen to me I just get ignored, we barely speak at all simply as when we are home he is messing about outside doing good knows what and his in a minute lasts anywhere from 30 mins to hours. I don't know what to do I left England and our rented accommodation I don't see how I can go back and rent as I have no job and our children are young and if I go back it will be as single mother and we would have no where to go. And we can't sell the house here as his parents have the right to live here till they die and they do not agree to selling! Not even sure how that would work in divorce not that I have the money for such things by far.
    I'm just so lost and hurt I always swore I would never leave unless he cheated but I cannot tolerate this situation much longer I really feel I'm going snap and I don't want to.

    Thanks for reading

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why did you move there? Is it possible for you to attend classes to learn the language and get some sort of job? Try to be out of the house as much as possible until you find some better solutions to this awful living situation. Do things with your kids. Living in a country where you do not speak the language is a mistake. So is living with someone's parents. Go home for visit. Talk to your family and trusted people about moving back. Consider that you may lose your kids. International custody is very complicated.

  3. #3

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    I do speak basic conversation I'm not a mute by any means and I have an app that helps me with the learning. We moved here for the countryside, education for the boys is better here they have public universities and healthcare is brilliant. I work here I have an job I love I'm currently on sick leave due to a broken elbow I miss my job terribly and for three years being outside the house as much as possible has always been the plan but it cannot continue. As for the in laws well they have always been the nicest people and encouraged us to move it's only since being here in our house that they have acted in such a bad way which was the shock of our lives I assure you. We are going back soon for couple weeks and I fully intend to talk to my relatives. I could never have stayed home once my husband gave up our tenancy as I couldn't afford the rent as I can only do term time work which I couldn't find at home in UK so if I didn't follow it would have left us homeless. Typical catch 22

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Can't you and your husband and kids move out to a house of your own?

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  6. #5
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    As someone born and raised in Central Europe, I strongly advise you to move out, and rent out a small apartment. The older generation believes in strict discipline, you need your own space and privacy, and visit them once in a while. The generation gap is very much present, they are probably set in their ways and donít understand why you want to do things in a different way. Your in-laws probably donít even think they are doing something wrong, they just want to Ďhelpí you to raise the kids.

    I know Slavic languages are hard, do you have any Czech friends? I donít know how big your city is, maybe there are language exchange meetups, or even free classes for foreigners, thereís always someone willing to practice English who could teach you Czech. The Czechs are pretty friendly, if they see you make an effort to integrate, they will be even friendlier. Iíve been living abroad for the last 6 years, learning the language is the key to understand the cultural differences. Good luck!

  7. #6
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Why did you move there? Is it possible for you to attend classes to learn the language and get some sort of job? Try to be out of the house as much as possible until you find some better solutions to this awful living situation. Do things with your kids. Living in a country where you do not speak the language is a mistake. So is living with someone's parents. Go home for visit. Talk to your family and trusted people about moving back. Consider that you may lose your kids. International custody is very complicated.
    - That's really good advice.


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