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Thread: Having trouble coping with my wifes sexuality

  1. #21
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I was in a terrible car accident and lost the ability to walk and work for a long while. My wife at the time left me for a man because she couldn't handle our situation.

    And I suspect this has a lot to do with it. No doubt your accident was traumatic. Your wife leaving at time when you are most vulnerable has to have left you with some mistrust overall, even though you say you've forgiven her.

    I think you rightfully have some trust issues with those closest to you, bi, straight or otherwise.
    I also think you are possibly focusing on the wrong thing to spare the both of you the difficult truth.

    Maybe a few sessions of couples counseling together would be beneficial for you both.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I think you are in denial about what your issue is. Your issue amongst jealousy of her being with someone other than you, is lack of trust. Now that she has cheated on you with a woman, you may be jealous, insecure and unable to trust even when she is on a girls night out. I also think that even if you would have forgiven your first wife for infidelity, you would also be jealous of her affair with a man and you would have an issue with trusting her going forth as well.

    As I mentioned early in your thread, couples counseling (and personal therapy) is in order here. If you can't just mind-over-matter your "issue" (whatever it may be) then you must see someone to help you process it or you are going to be in an angst ridden relationship that will eventually wear away your emotional connection to your wife.

    Good luck.
    Last edited by ThatwasThen; 06-14-2019 at 08:22 PM. Reason: added brackets

  3. #23
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Ask her to stop mentioning the ex. Also, seek counseling - you have what's called "trust issues", because you've been cheated on. This can be addressed with counseling.

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