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Thread: My fiance seems addicted to "laughing gas"

  1. #1
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    My fiance seems addicted to "laughing gas"

    I am getting really concerned and I just want to get some advice and opinions. I have been with my fiance for two years and our wedding is all planned for January next year. I'm 34 and he's 28. We've been living together for about nine months. Neither of us had ever really done much drugs, except I'd taken some ecstacy maybe about 10 times at most in my whole life. My fiance only once in a blue moon would take acid only just to help him with severe anxiety in crowded environments. Apart from that we just occasionally drink alcohol and we don't smoke cigarettes.

    My fiance has fairly severe depression and anxiety. His mother also had really bad depression and committed suicide about six years ago. He left his state after that and moved to my city. All his close friends and all his family are in his original state. In this city he has only acquaintances. He spends a bit of time with work colleagues only at work/work functions. We also sometimes have parties but a lot of people he invites are only acquaintances. In the two years we've been together, he's almost never hung out with anyone one-on-one.

    A few months ago my fiance tried and loved some nangs/whippets at a party. For anyone that doesn't know, it's when you inhale nitrous oxide (laughing gas) straight from a pressure canister or fill balloons with it and inhale from there. Where I live there are a few companies that can home deliver these products 24/7 because they are not actually illegal and are for "whipped cream and baking".

    I work basically every day except Sunday, but I finish work by 3-4 p.m. already. I don't do a huge amount of house work but it's me that does most of it, as well as cooking. I'm also a really social person and I have a lot of friends and family nearby. I catch up with friends a couple of times a week and my parents about once a week. My fiance works 9-5 four days a week. We do go out on dates occasionally but the majority of the time he's at home with his cat. He never said he had any issues with me going out with friends and family. However lately he has admitted that he gets lonely. But any encouragement from me to reach out to his acquaintances to hang out or to join social groups sort of fell on deaf ears. Though now he will be playing a role playing game once a fortnight.

    Anyway so a few months ago he began to order the nitrous oxide. At first it was only about once a fortnight, then rapidly became more and more often. Then he was doing it once a week, then twice a week. Now seems to be there times a week. Sometimes he took time off work because he's sick/depressed and just stayed home and did nangs all day. Seems like every time he's not at work, he's doing it. He doesn't help with any housework or do anything while he's home all day, just get high.

    He claims it's generally harmless, but the thing is that excessive consumption can cause depletion of vitamin B12 from the body. I read some posts on some drug forums about it. One guy there said that he did it heavily about every day for his months. The lack of Vitamin B12 caused severe degeneration of his spinal cord and now he's a paraplegic in a wheelchair.

    I talked to my fiance about all this and the danger a number of times but he doesn't listen and doesn't feel concerned. He is on antidepressants and mood stabilizer and sees a psychiatrist. Every time I leave the house, when I come home he is doing the nangs/whippets. I offer to watch movies together or play games but he doesn't want to stop getting high even then.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Rather than talk about the dangers of this that or the other drugs, compassionately address his underlying problems. Suggest he get a checkup from a physician to rule out mood or other medically treatable issues. Particularly with a strong family history of neurochemical/mood disorders, substance abuse can exacerbate the problems. Focus on underlying health concerns rather than a parental stance. Lead by example and pursue a clean living lifestyle.

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    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    He's self diagnosing, and self medicating...that should be your concern. People who have addiction issues make up a bunch of BS just to justify their habit. I would suggest you both seek out your information from a health care professional rather than the internet. Most stuff on the internet is unfounded, untested, higgery jiggery bull crap.
    If he refuses to address his addiction, give the ring back and move out/move on.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I wouldn’t get married at this point.

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    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Oh boy. He's got mental issues and now he's a drug addict. Real bad for a relationship.

    You may want to rethink those marriage plans.

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    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    This does not sound good, at all. This is drug addiction, plain and simple, and it needs to be addressed as such.

    I just have to ask: Are you sure you want to marry him?

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    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Oof, that stuff is serious business. I'm amazed he doesn't have brain damage already that's noticeable to you.

    I had a friend in high school who used to use nitrous oxide from time to time. Really short high, and I never tried it. I found out soon after just how dangerous it can be. Your partner is very likely to die from his habit if he doesn't stop.

    Don't marry this guy. If you love him, campaign to get him help, but if he refuses, eventually you need to move on with your life. This situation is just not looking good, and you don't deserve to be dragged down too.

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    Please postpone the wedding. You both have issues with drugs.
    He needs treatment for his severe depression.Do not marry him at this time.

  10. #9
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I only had nitrous oxide once for a dental op. I had one of the worst panic attacks of my life.

  11. #10
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    I agree with everyone who said do not marry him (I've had laughing gas several times at the doctor's office - was fine but obviously that's different).

    I personally would end the relationship and offer to help him find places to go to get help for his various issues and this new potential addiction.

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