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Thread: New Grandma

  1. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    My kids have 3 sets of grandparents:
    1) My folks
    2) The biological dad and his wife of my husband whom he didn't meet till 27 because his mom lied for 27 years about, and the dad who raised him still doesn't know this yet
    3) The dad who raised my husband and his wife

    ...and there's my husband's mom who's a cruel, abusive, narcissist who loves to post how wonderful she is, how great her grandkids are, calls herself grandma, but has never once met the kids, by my choice for their safety and well-being.

    So, don't even give it anymore thought that this woman wants a title.

    Kids know who really loves and cares about them, and wants to spend time with the good ones. They could give two sh$ts about titles.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Don't let this bother you. At all. It's really silly.
    In some circles, attention is lavished on grandmas and moms, and it can become like a contest for some women. How many pats on the back can I get for being linked in some way to motherhood? It's kinda sad when you think of it, that she's seeking out to get attention in this way.

    Forget about it because none of this matters to your grand baby. What will stick with him is the people who were there for him. Don't worry about Grandma cred, just do your thing being a good grandma and enjoying building that bond with him. He's a lucky little guy, all these generations and people so glad he's here.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Sydney Australia
    I would definitely be unfriending her & your Ex on FB. You dont need to be reading her drama posts.
    Also have seperate family functions. I have been doing this for 30 years & it works brilliantly for all concerned.

    Congrats on your new Grandchild, enjoy your time with him & ignore everyone else.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    I don't think it's strange for that woman to behave the way she did. Nothing surprises me anymore. I've heard it all plus some from a lot of people in my life. This world is filled with unkind, rude, obnoxious, disrespectful people so grow accustomed to it!

    As for titles, don't care. Be above it, be the bigger person and take the higher road. Be a class act.

    Don't fight fire with fire. Remain civil, peaceful and act with grace always. Don't get emotional because emotions cloud your judgment. Always exercise discretion. You can't control other people and what they do. All you can do is control how you choose to react or better yet, not react.

    Remain in your position as the grandmother and know your place. That woman is insecure and trying to get a rise out of you. Don't react, don't respond and you should simply ignore her antics.

    Always behave graciously. Focus on loving the new parents and your grandchild. Let them decide how to navigate their relationships. Be gracious, stay out of the way and when you are with your son and his family, act natural.

    Should your paths cross with your ex and his GF, remain civil, polite yet keep a safe distance. Don't engage in person and don't engage nor respond on FB or social media. Stay out of it. Play it safe.

    Always keep the peace. Stay out of the fray and avoid drama. Congratulations on being a new grandma!


  6. #15
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    New Jersey
    Originally Posted by JMHB
    Thanks for the comments firstly I can honestly do not want drama far from it and I am firmly keeping it out of it.

    My son is keen on being able to have joint occasions but maybe as nice as that would be for him the reality is it may be better to keep separate as per the post above.

    The reason I came here for opinions is the whole family is upset including my sons in laws and I was felt it would be helpful to get an insight from outsiders.

    Personally I think it is really strange that a woman who really does not have a huge amount of time with my son and does not treat him as a son is suddenly calling herself a grandparent without being invited as I totally agree with the comment above, it is about what my son chooses to do and I will respect whatever that is.

    thanks for taking the time to respond :-)
    Oh, c'mOn! Count your blessings to give your mind something better to do. This sounds like a family devoid of enough REAL problems to avoid inventing one.

    A step-grandmother calling herself 'a grandma' is a common thing, and I'd consider adopting the maturity and graciousness to either ignore it or encourage it.

    Credit your grown adult children for the ability to handle their own father and stepmother, and keep your mouth shut. Any suggestion that they should split up family gatherings to keep her away from you puts undue stress on them, and for what? Because their mother cannot muster the social graces to overlook one obnoxious person in a crowd?

    That's between your adult children and their father, not you. Adopt a convenient case of amnesia about the woman's behavior and play stupid and cheerful when in her company. If you choose to opt out of a gathering to avoid her, then that's on you and your own behavior.

    Demo that YOU can play nice in the sandbox, grandma, and leave others to handle their own relationships.

    Congrats on your new grandchild, and read my sig.

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