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Thread: Trouble letting go of toxic relationship

  1. #21
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    I'm really struggling with being blocked. In a way, this is really the beginning of the withdrawal. I'm dying to talk to her, even though I know she's no good for me. :(

    I'm on vacation with my family yet feel lonesome af for her.

    I feel abandoned and alone. She's already dating and has probably found my replacement already.
    Last edited by Detoxer; 06-13-2019 at 08:58 PM.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Detoxer
    Sadly no! The sex was mediocre. Although she did do some things not many others have, so I'll miss that.

    I really hope this takes less than a year. I'm 35 and need to get on with my life.
    <<Blocking is the first step! Stay no contact. Remain strong.<<

    Blocking will help, why? Not to punish her, but to help YOU.

    Because every time you get a ping that you received a text you won't be jumping like a puppy thinking/hoping it's from her.

    That alone is very freeing!! It frees your mind from wondering if you will ever hear from her, and trust me, it really helps the healing process.

    That and going no contact.

    Also important is don't fight your pain and hurt right now. Just allow yourself to feel those uncomfortable emotions in all their truth and glory.

    Cry, scream do whatever you have to.

    Vigorous exercise helped me. I took up running! I still run for anxiety.

    Yoga for calming.

    I hear punching a punching bag at the gym helps although never did that. But it helps alleviate the anger.

    In short, in order to heal and move on you have to learn to help yourself. Don't wallow. Don't start a zillion threads talking about it and telling us how hurt and pained you are. That will only keep you stuck.

    Anyway, again I've been through it. There were days I wanted to end it all (my life). But I made it through with resilience and strength.

    So will you I promise!!

  3. #23
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Detoxer
    I'm really struggling with being blocked. In a way, this is really the beginning of the withdrawal. I'm dying to talk to her, even though I know she's no good for me. :(

    I'm on vacation with my family yet feel lonesome af for her.

    I feel abandoned and alone. She's already dating and has probably found my replacement already.
    Zero contact which includes no stalking her social media. What you don't know, won't hurt you and turn off your brain to her when you have run-away thoughts about her being with someone else.

    You can't quit your drug if you keep having another hit of it.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Zero contact which includes no stalking her social media. What you don't know, won't hurt you and turn off your brain to her when you have run-away thoughts about her being with someone else.

    You can't quit your drug if you keep having another hit of it.
    Exactly! Cold turkey withdrawal is a bytch but it's absolutely necessary!

    If you truly want to heal OP, promise yourself that no matter how hard it is, how horrible you feel, you need to go through it otherwise you will never heal and move on like you say you want to.

    It takes A LOT of strength. And resolve. But hell if I can do it, you can do it!

  5.  

  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Exactly! Cold turkey withdrawal is a bytch but it's absolutely necessary!

    If you truly want to heal OP, promise yourself that no matter how hard it is, how horrible you feel, you need to go through it otherwise you will never heal and move on like you say you want to.

    It takes A LOT of strength. And resolve. But hell if I can do it, you can do it!
    Thanks. It's crazy how hard this is. I've had other tough breakups, but nothing this hard. And this was the worst relationship I've had.

    I think the breaking up/getting back together routine made it harder.

  7. #26
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    Dear lord...when will the invasive, obsessive thoughts stop?

  8. #27
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Detoxer
    Dear lord...when will the invasive, obsessive thoughts stop?
    Therapy should be walking you through that, are they not addressing all this?

    Look you have some issues to face. Iím anazed you donít think you have self esteem issues.

    Your relationship with her caused them to manifest, her existence didnít create any of this it just caused it to come out.

    You just have to power through the obsessive thoughts. Keep busy, youíre withdrawing cold turkey.

    If it helps keep writing out what you want to say, donít send of course but sometimes it helps to get it out

  9. #28
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Detoxer
    Dear lord...when will the invasive, obsessive thoughts stop?
    When you make a habit of quickly dismissing them and getting up and doing something that will change the loop going around in your head starring her.

    Stop basking in your reverie of her and instead bask in self help and doing things that will make you the best you that you can be, do fun things with friends and family and leave mental pics of her in the dust. Doing that takes having mind over matter. You have 100% control over your own thoughts so change them.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    Therapy should be walking you through that, are they not addressing all this?

    Look you have some issues to face. Iím anazed you donít think you have self esteem issues.

    Your relationship with her caused them to manifest, her existence didnít create any of this it just caused it to come out.

    You just have to power through the obsessive thoughts. Keep busy, youíre withdrawing cold turkey.

    If it helps keep writing out what you want to say, donít send of course but sometimes it helps to get it out
    Not really. Therapist recommended changing ADs for obsessive thoughts.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree, consider a more targeted therapy and a review of emerging new symptoms.
    Originally Posted by Detoxer
    Therapist recommended changing ADs for obsessive thoughts.

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