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Thread: LDR gone horribly wrong. Feel I couldíve done things different.

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by NickOrtiz
    Yeah, I guess... Another thing was that her relationships aside from her first marriage (with the children, she constantly bashes the father) her relationships never lasted a year, some even a month. Her second marriage ended within four months, when the ex husband supposedly threw his hands up one day and said ďI canít do this anymore!Ē If you saw what happened with me and her the first time, I started to realize thereís things she tends to leave out of her stories. But... I digress.
    So what made you think she was a good prospect knowing all of this?

  2. #22
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    Honestly I donít know... We had so much in common and we had the same lifestyle (big into fitness). She seemed kind and compassionate at first.... She was also physically my type. I thought for a second I could make it work but the questions were racing in my head when she pointed out how her relationships ended and when I put two and two together when I remembered her relationships on social media.... She also said something before we met about how men couldnít please her in bed which set off a big alarm for me that when she reassured me, slipped to the back of my mind.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by NickOrtiz
    So should I have just skipped out on the sex in that case and told her I wanted to wait? Part of me began to have reservations about sex after she was talking about that.
    When someone is not that into you, waiting to have sex is beside the point, OP.

    And beating yourself up over the what-ifs useless. She's done. You just need to be more realistic next time and not put the cart before the horse with a virtual stranger. You can only know so much about someone online. Waiting to see how - and if - you get along in person is the crucial element. And here, it wasn't a success and it's out of your hands. Sometimes it just doesn't work out.

    Heed the red flags next time.

  4. #24
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    The most important thing to look for in a partner: the same value system.

    Give the ladies in your area another chance. I can't imagine there isn't one person, within a 30 mile radius that your are not compatible with.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you live with your parents now? Do you work? It's not about penis size, you're just not compatible. It's that simple.

  7. #26
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    [QUOTE=HollyjI can't imagine there isn't one person, within a 30 mile radius that your are not compatible with.[/QUOTE]

    You donít get it... The women in my area tend to be very stuck up and generally after money. Or somebody in the ďinĒ crowd as high school as it sounds.


    And wiseman yes I work, no I donít live with my parents.

  8. #27
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    I personally think you dodged a bullet here. I think this woman does not sound emotionally stable and sounds like she has a lot of issues. Possibly even some mental health issues. Sounds to me a bit like she could potentially have a personality disorder, but I'm not a doctor and not do I actually know her.

    The fact that she told you that she had been engaged MANY times and that many of her relationships were short is definitely not a good sign. She sounds like someone emotionally unstable and immature who just rushes to get engaged straight away. Most people have not been engaged that many times at that age because they would only get engaged to someone they have a solid relationship with for a significant amount of time. And also the fact that she told you she was always "the bad guy" dumping people. I mean, first she wants to get engaged to basically everyone then she just dumps all of them? Sounds like very unhealthy behaviour.

    In my opinion she was acting quite weird online too. She had never even met you in person at all and she already introduced you to her mother and also got you involved with her kids. She was talking about all these future plans with you like you were in a really serious relationship, but you had never even met each other! That sounds very over the top and not normal to me.

    Sorry but I find it very hard to believe that all the women in your area "suck and are stuck up". Have you honestly tried to date that many women in your area? ALL women in your area surely can't be stuck up. I think you're just scared to actually have a relationship in real life, so you prefer to carry on a fantasy online relationship.

  9. #28
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    You spent a lot of money to meet a woman for the first time, and it did not work out. This happens a lot. Plus, most long distance relationships don't work out.

    I would suggest dating locally.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by NickOrtiz
    You donít get it... The women in my area tend to be very stuck up and generally after money. Or somebody in the ďinĒ crowd as high school as it sounds.


    And wiseman yes I work, no I donít live with my parents.
    Every woman in your area? I do not believe that for a second. I think that you need to change your attitude, as it sucks.

    You need to get your act together with you finances and living situation. That should come before dating! Would you want to date you at this point? Have you considered furthering your education?

  11. #30
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    I donít know what the deal is with that... I just thought at first hey sometimes things donít work out. Then when she described in detail what happened because she felt she constantly needed that ďexcitementĒ, I began to wonder and hope it wasnít a pattern and that I wasnít next.

    Part of me was thinking instability was the case... but I was really praying it wasnít.

    And at least the ones Iíve seen and approached, yes. Where I live almost everybody knows everybody. It feels like high school. Very hypergamous, not that Iím really that low on the scale. I mean I support myself and make a decent salary that I can live relatively comfortably on, but I donít know.

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