How to tell my girlfriend to ‘arch her back’

We have had issues in the past while doing “doggy style” and because I’m dumb it took me awhile to realize it is because she isn’t arching her back.

What is the best way to communicate this to her? During the act? Sometime when we are just spending time together? In the most recent experience I got frustrated and wasn’t sure to express what is goIng on and it sort of ruined the mood.

Next time you do it, just say "Arch your back for me". Easy peasy!

While having sex and doing into that position try starting off gently, rather than just going for it. Maybe rub her back a little so she relaxes more and just whisper, "try it like this babe" while you gently push her back down a little as you rub and kiss it a little.

I think it would be a much better approach than just showing her a pic and telling her she's doing it wrong.

🐶🐾 🍖 Throw her a bone 🙀🐩🐕🌭

We have had issues in the past while doing “doggy style” What is the best way to communicate this to her?

[emoji190][emoji252] [emoji491] Throw her a bone [emoji79][emoji251][emoji240][emoji894]

Hahahahaha best comment ever [emoji38]🦴

All silliness aside, could she be doing it because she is trying to position herself in a way that feels good for her? Or is she just new to the position? Like is she just trying to stop you from banging in to her cervix or she legitimately doesn’t know what she’s doing?

Either way, I prefer talking about these types of things outside the heat of the moment... during dinner or morning coffee or while we are hiking... you get the idea.

She doesn't sound comfortable and it sounds like you're moving too quickly. Take your time, leave the rest for later.

arch your back? Why is that hard to say?

Kinda like, `move your leg over here'

Bigger question is why you don't feel open discussing things with someone you get naked with?

Just ask her.

Thank you for the replies everyone. I definitely wasn’t planning on showing her that diagram or anything haha.

She is definitely not new to the position. Sometimes we seem to have this issue and sometimes not. It did sort of just feel like an off night. I am mostly considering the second response ITT. Or talking outside the heat of the moment as someone else said

arch your back? Why is that hard to say?

Kinda like, `move your leg over here'

Bigger question is why you don't feel open discussing things with someone you get naked with?

Just ask her.

You have a good point. I seem to have some communication problems. I don’t know why I feel nervous discussing the specifics and mechanics of sex..

I think there are times that call for discussing things out of the bedroom and not in the moment.

But (to me) this isn't one of them.

It feels like it becomes a more serious issue than warranted. I'd wonder why you hadn't mentioned it in the moment before.

Keep it light, keep it fun. Ask for what you want and trust me, that she wants to know and can't read your mind.

Put yourself in her place. Wouldn't you want to know what pleases her? Would you rather her tell you in the moment of over a summit breakfast meeting?

 

It feels like it becomes a more serious issue than warranted. I'd wonder why you hadn't mentioned it in the moment before

Great point, I think that’s exactly what would happen. Thank you for your insights.

You have a good point. I seem to have some communication problems. I don’t know why I feel nervous discussing the specifics and mechanics of sex..

I don't think you are alone.

It's often awkward in the beginning but practice, get used to it and reap the benefits ;}

Ok... two thoughts...

1) Maybe I’m also doing it wrong - but I don’t really see how you can be on your hands and knees, while arching your back (which takes muscles), while something is pushing up against you for an extended period of time AND be comfortable. Throw some pillows under her stomach for her to lean on. That’s my answer. Lol!

2) what’s wrong with showing her that picture? “Hey honey - look what I came across on the internet tosay. Do you think we are doing it wrong? Wanna try?”. I don’t see what’s wrong with that. At least then she’s in on the experiment and can provide her feedback.

Ok... two thoughts...

 

1) Maybe I’m also doing it wrong - but I don’t really see how you can be on your hands and knees, while arching your back (which takes muscles), while something is pushing up against you for an extended period of time AND be comfortable. Throw some pillows under her stomach for her to lean on. That’s my answer. Lol!

 

2) what’s wrong with showing her that picture? “Hey honey - look what I came across on the internet tosay. Do you think we are doing it wrong? Wanna try?”. I don’t see what’s wrong with that. At least then she’s in on the experiment and can provide her feedback.

Chest down, butt up! Then you won't have the back issue

Chest down, butt up! Then you won't have the back issue

Yeah - that works too but it’s not what the picture shows.

Actually, I think I read everything wrong (including the picture). You actually want her to do the opposite of “arching” her back. That’s what you don’t want her to do. (Arching is sticking her back in the air)

Edit: Ahhh... maybe i’m generally confused. To me “arching” means curving it in the air. Show her the pic, OP. Will be much easier 😂🤣

Ok... two thoughts...

 

1) Maybe I’m also doing it wrong - but I don’t really see how you can be on your hands and knees, while arching your back (which takes muscles), while something is pushing up against you for an extended period of time AND be comfortable. Throw some pillows under her stomach for her to lean on. That’s my answer. Lol!

 

2) what’s wrong with showing her that picture? “Hey honey - look what I came across on the internet tosay. Do you think we are doing it wrong? Wanna try?”. I don’t see what’s wrong with that. At least then she’s in on the experiment and can provide her feedback.

It is my understanding that ‘arch your back’, something I have been told, ( it can be sexy to guide, doesn’t have to be awkward) means to arch your behind so essentially your back goes down and your behind rises giving the other person better access.

Chest down, butt up! Then you won't have the back issue

That’s my go to position for doggy... that way my arms don’t get tired [emoji38][emoji57]

That’s my go to position for doggy... that way my arms don’t get tired [emoji38][emoji57]

Ok. . I wasn't going to say it, but me too :)

Next time you do it, just say "Arch your back for me". Easy peasy!

I wouldn't appreciate being told to do something; it should be a suggestion. *Ask her* if she'd like to give arching her back a go to see if it feels better like that.

That’s my go to position for doggy... that way my arms don’t get tired [emoji38][emoji57]

Isn’t that how everyone does it.

Thank you for the replies everyone. I definitely wasn’t planning on showing her that diagram or anything haha.

 

She is definitely not new to the position. Sometimes we seem to have this issue and sometimes not. It did sort of just feel like an off night. I am mostly considering the second response ITT. Or talking outside the heat of the moment as someone else said

Definitely talk to her about it. The right position in doggy style will allow you to penetrate deeper, it's possible that maybe it hurts for her and that's why she's sitting differently.

Just tell her that you noticed she's not arching her back and ask her if she's uncomfortable or hurting and try to be understanding.

Best of luck :)

I agree with the previous posters, I don't think it's necessarily about arching anything. She has to rest her head down and lean down more.

Arms get tired so she can either lean right down with her head resting on the bed (arms bent but still supporting her), bum in the air or resting on pillows.

Chest down, butt up! Then you won't have the back issue

Yep. That's normally how I think of it when someone talks about this position, not like the picture you showed.

Just google correct position for doggy style..ignore the one you saw as that's too awkward, and try to find a picture like we described.

Head down, butt in the air.

Why do you have to tell her how to position herself? How old are you? You sound inexperienced and/or not that good with technique if you can't work around things.