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Thread: Partner working away

  1. #11
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    That's true I guess I thought we were in a much better place but then he does this to me behind my back.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Caewils
    Thanks reinvent myself, I decided to stay with him to work through things, I hope he's not cheating I don't think he's cheating working away.
    I editing my previous post with another question

  3. #13
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    Full time commitment.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Caewils
    Full time commitment.
    Wow. . 2 small children and I'd have to think long and hard about whether I would continue.
    I wouldn't give an ultimatum because he's already made his choice.
    I would see it as the choice is now up to me.

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  6. #15
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    I know maybe I'm feeling like this because of the hell he put me through accussing me and maybe I'm thinking is he the one that's doing it. I don't know my heads in the shed tbh.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    I mean....looking at it from a pragmatic standpoint, bosses don't ask,they tell and refusing can mean you've just killed your career and are liable to get termed at nearest opportunity. I need to talk to my SO about my career decisions really don't go over well with bosses.

    If you take a step back and cool down, what does this mean for his job/career? Can you move closer once transfer is completed? If you look at this rationally and pragmatically, does this move make sense?

    As for the conflict you've had.....I mean the first huge red flag is that he didn't want to get married. Second huge red flag is that he accused you of cheating over nothing - cheaters tend to do that a lot. I wouldn't bury my head in the sand and proclaim that he wouldn't. Keep your eyes open. It sounds like you've worked so hard to get this man to commit to you....you've lost sight of some important things....

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    He may not want to get married but he still has to pay child support. Let him go. Use this time to get some help in deciding what's best for you and the kids.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Are you worried about being stuck doing all the childcare?
    Are you working as well or do you all depend on his income?
    I mean, a lot of times you can't say no and yet advance.
    You agreed to stall his career because....I'm not sure?

  10. #19
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    Thanks dancingfool, he wouldn't of lost his job because this isn't part of his job I guess it sub contacted or something, so he would of still kept his job, it was just an added extra for people if they wanted to do it. We can't move closer as he could go anywhere to work he wouldn't work in the same place. They are huge red flags for sure and im definitely not burying my head in the sand, my eyes are wide open for. I agree I probably have lost site of things, I've tried so hard to make this work and I just feel this is another step back.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    I mean....looking at it from a pragmatic standpoint, bosses don't ask,they tell and refusing can mean you've just killed your career and are liable to get termed at nearest opportunity. I need to talk to my SO about my career decisions really don't go over well with bosses.
    and his boss asked him if he would like to work away and he said yes without discussing it with me, when he did eventually discuss it with me we had a talk and we decided that there was no need for him to work away as we are not struggling for money ect, we both agreed,

    Unless I am reading this wrong, the boss asked him his preference, as a couple they came to the conclusion it wasn't going to happen. . then he went ahead and did it anyway.

    From accusations of cheating, refusing to get married and taking a job 4 hours away, this man doesn't seem to interested in a future with her and his family. He seems to be creating roadblocks, but when each one doesn't work, he escalates his behavior.

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