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Thread: Does my ex gf still have feelings for me or did I fall for breadcrumbs?

  1. #1
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    Does my ex gf still have feelings for me or did I fall for breadcrumbs?

    My ex and I have been broken up for over a year. With last time we saw each other being the end of 2017. The reason we broke up was that I cheated on her. I didn't hook up with anyone but I was flirting with other females with my freinds. This caused her to leave me.

    During the breakup for several months on end. I did everything your not supposed to do. I begged, pleaded, kept reaching out etc. The only things I didn't do was show up to her house or work unannounced.

    So January was when we last spoke before I went into No Contact. She said a lot of mean things like how I was a rebound relationship, how she never loved me etc. I end up apologizing for what I did and then went into complete NC.

    So after 4 months of no contact. She unblocks me on social media after being blocked for over a year. Then out of the blue she texts me asking if I'm at work. I tell her I'm not. She claimed she wanted to come and say hello. We then text back and forth for about 2 weeks, with her even texting first some. Wishing me good days, sleep well etc. We then talk on the phone for about 2 hours. Laughing, flirting and having a great convo. Well after the phone call I tried to call a day later no answer. I texted her telling her I called no answer again. So im ignored again. So last week was a religious holiday for both of us she contacted me wishing me a happy holiday. After a couple days I ask her out and she declines. I tell her I just wanted to see her. She understood.

    So now I'm confused. I brought up when we last spoke she said some mean things. Then you want to see me. Then we text and speak on the phone. Then I'm ignored after. She claims she was being just being friendly and that I was wrong to assume it would continue. She says it was mistake speaking to me, good chat and that it won't happen again. Last thing I said was if you talk to me again great. If not I can't lose someone who is already gone. I respect your decision and I accept things for what they are.

    How does she go from wanting to see me, to texting me, to speaking to me, to ignoring me and now saying it was a mistake talking to me.

    I've went back into NC. Does anyone think I'll hear from her again and if I do how should I react.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sounds like she wanted 'closure" or had a weak moment. It would be best to stay no contact and delete and block her and all her people from all your social media and messaging apps.

  3. #3
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    She could have been feeling lonely, sorry for herself about something, maybe a guy she was dating or interested in blew her off, so she figured she'd get some ego soothing from trusty old you. And you confirmed you're still pining over her, so don't be surprised if she does this again the next time she wants some ego soothing.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by THECHOSEN
    She claims she was being just being friendly and that I was wrong to assume it would continue.
    Well there's your clarity^^

    As to the title of your thread, you got breadcrumbed ma man....My ex did the same thing for close to a year too and I stupidly kept letting it happen!

    Whatever guilt etc they're harbouring, if they can come around you and see that 'we're kool' then that makes 'everything' kool then, right?

    I think people in our position should sometimes set aside the Hopium that comes from breadcrumbs and tell that person "Actually, you know what? No, we ain't kool..."....easier said than done for a lot of us....until we finally reach that boiling point...
    Originally Posted by THECHOSEN
    I've went back into NC. Does anyone think I'll hear from her again and if I do how should I react.
    Differently than this time....

    How bout we make a pact that if any more breadcrumbs come floating in that we do our best to not cowtow to it*

    Of course there's the ol' throw away response of 'just block and delete', but that's up to you....

    Keep it movin'

    Carus*

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    I dont think their was another guy since we broke up. Reason I think that is because almost the entire time we've been apart she's been spying on my social media (caught her a few times, but acted like I never noticed or said anything about it).

    It's also weird because she was genuinely happy and interested in talking to me. I didn't even contact her i disappeared. She appeared out of the blue and tried to see me. Now it was a mistake talking to me. I dont get it.

    How should I handle it when/if she does pop up again. Cause I'm tired of this push/pull stuff. One day you want to talk to me. Then the next you ignore me. We're on good terms for a few weeks then you dont want nothing to do with me for a few months. Then pops back up again.

    I still have feelings for this girl but I'm ready to stay in no contact for good. If she talks to me again cool/ if not that's cool too. I'm just want things to make sense tbh.

  7. #6
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    Yeah I feel I did too. I'm so mad at myself for falling for it trust me. The only thing that confuses me is the attempt to see me at work and the 2 hour conversation. The whole convo it seemed like she was interested in me again. She didnt say anything about just being friendly until I asked to meet. I also really improved my quality of life as well as my physique. Which seemed to impress her.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by THECHOSEN
    The only thing that confuses me is the attempt to see me at work and the 2 hour conversation.
    Yeh well now you know....

    My breadcrumbs were always full of kisses, pet names and smiley face emojis....Kryptonite in its purest form*

    Listen not to what they say, watch what they do*

    And don't worry, it stops eventually once they're weaned...

    Carus*

  9. 06-11-2019, 10:59 AM


  10. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She may still have residual feelings but she doesn't trust you from the sounds of it. This is a volatile relationship and I'm not sure why you were flirting with other women around your friends in the first place. What caused you to want to do that? Did you feel unloved or unfulfilled in that relationship? Or were you just doing it out of peer pressure (low self-confidence)?

    Go back and uncover why you felt the need to sabotage the relationship or engage in those behaviours because it may shed some light on 1) how unhappy you are as a person (and you might need to work on this) and/or 2) how unhappy you were in that particular relationship (you both just weren't compatible at all).

    Things were not working. Stop for a second and ask yourself why they weren't working before and what caused the downward spiral.

  11. #9
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    Everyone always says "Oh, I know FOR A FACT my ex isn't seeing anyone!" Then they're back after checking their social media saying "OMG I can't believe he/she is posting pics with some other girl/guy!!!"

    I recommend blocking but I'm pretty sure you have solid reasons why you "can't ".

  12. #10
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    I think she was probably feeling lonely or bored when she initially called and wanted to see you at work.

    Then she thought better of it, and changed her mind. It happens. Assume she is being honest that she doesn't want the contact to continue. The chances that this would come back together in healthy and viable way are slim; being inappropriate with other girls was a deal-breaker for her, and the residual mistrust and pain that caused her would almost surely resurface and make any reconciliation attempt almost impossible anyway. And given that you have very little idea of what's been happening in her personal life since the break-up, you also have no real clue if she's been talking to or seeing other guys. Don't make the common but naive mistake of assuming her social media activity would reveal that.

    It would be better to delete each other from social media so you can let go for good, too. Both of you will eventually move on to other people.


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