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Thread: I found out my boyfriend's best friend has a crush on me

  1. #1

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    I found out my boyfriend's best friend has a crush on me

    Hi, so recently while at my boyfriend's, we got drunk with his best friend who has become a friend of mine over the 3+ years I've been dating my boyfriend. We started playing truth or dare. My bf eventually went upstairs to bed but said if I want to carry on drinking down stairs that's fine. I do that, and we continue.

    All intimate details come out (though many had come out beforehand) through desperation of finding new questions. And eventually he confesses through a couple of the truths that he has a kinda big crush on me. He also peeked when I was in the middle of changing my shirt for a "switch your shirts for three rounds" dare, which made me uncomfortable.

    This friend is 'extra son to bf's parents' level, and he's always at the house. I promised not to tell anyone, but I'm scared to regardless anyway. Because if he found out there would be a lot on the line on my bf's family and life, and also he may be pissed at me for carrying on the game afterwards (I brushed over it a bit, I was pretty drunk by this point) which obviously entailed many more details. And also, there are minorly incriminating things I told after he went to bed (things we could work through, though).

    The next morning he was saying few things to me, though tbh that's not too unusual. We're usually friends over drinks or games in the group of three. What the hell do I do about this? I am going to see him a lot so it's going to be a prominent issue.
    Last edited by Tf369; 06-10-2019 at 10:48 PM. Reason: Typo

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Not much you CAN do about it. If that's the way he feels then he needs to own that and deal with it

    However, if you have good morals and boundaries and you love your BF, in no way should you entertain any ideas of an affair or a 'one nighter'...etc. That will cause more pain and confusion than you can imagine and karma will take care of you for that.

    If the friend does any more stuff that makes you uncomfortable or creeps you out then you may have to address it and let them sort it out...It wouldn't be the first friendship that's ended over romance...but I do hope it doesn't come to that*

    Stay off the alcohol....for more reasons than just this.

    Carus*

  3. #3
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    Yeah, you can't do anything about his crush on you. I would keep it cool for now, like if he thought this was fine and does it again, saying, "okay for real, you know how much I love /blank/! You can't help his creepiness either, but you can always choose to not react to it. No need to make this a huge scene, but it's important to make it clear to the best friend that you really love and care for your boyfriend and therefore basically have eyes only for him. If he doesn't respect that even after you're clear about it, than I'd bring up how you really don't want your boyfriend to be weirded out by the situation. Bestie should get the message by that point.

  4. 06-11-2019, 01:35 AM

  5. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Stop flirting and playing drinking games with him.
    Originally Posted by Tf369
    We started playing truth or dare.
    All intimate details come out (though many had come out beforehand) through desperation of finding new questions. And eventually he confesses through a couple of the truths that he has a kinda big crush on me. He also peeked when I was in the middle of changing my shirt for a "switch your shirts for three rounds" dare, which made me uncomfortable.

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  7. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Who are you addressing? This is not a dating site.
    Originally Posted by rubenestrell
    Hi Amy.....

  8. #6
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    Originally Posted by Tf369
    This friend is 'extra son to bf's parents' level, and he's always at the house. I promised not to tell anyone, but I'm scared to regardless anyway. Because if he found out there would be a lot on the line on my bf's family and life, and also he may be pissed at me for carrying on the game afterwards (I brushed over it a bit, I was pretty drunk by this point) which obviously entailed many more details. And also, there are minorly incriminating things I told after he went to bed (things we could work through, though).
    Such as?

    It sounds to me like you're worried about the crush, yes, but also that maybe you crossed some boundaries here and you're worried your boyfriend will find out. Were you engaging in some inappropriate conversation with this guy?

  9. 06-11-2019, 02:20 AM

  10. #7
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    What are the "minorly incriminating things" you told him?

    Are you kind of turned on that he likes you?

  11. #8
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Ok, so you said and did some inappropriate things with a friend. And he has a crush on you.

    People seem to have this need to bare their soul to everybody, and reveal all their transgressions. It's very bad for relationships. If you want to tell somebody, talk here or tell it to a counselor.

    You have to be disciplined and keep your mouth shut around your boyfriend and family. Take it to your grave. Openness and honesty are two different things. And stop playing that stupid game.

  12. #9
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Just leave it as it is and make sure you come to some respectful (or something like it) understanding with your bf's friend. If your heart isn't in it with your boyfriend, you should know what to do. Continuing any hidden affairs or continuing to live double lives won't help you in the long run.

    I wouldn't be able to live with it, to be honest with you. I'd be seriously reconsidering any relationship having to do with either of them and spending some time alone with myself but that's just me.

  13. #10
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    Single guy , bit drunk , female in front of him, he sort of makes a move and you sort of do too being drunk yourself.

    Innocent bf upstairs.

    What exactly are you worried about?
    The fact that you are tempted ?

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