Dating advice

I met this guy . We had the first date and we were supposed to just have some drinks and chat . Then he ordered some food full course and then we went to watch a movie . He is a respectable person in his career so i felt safe with him. He seems to want to have sex as he has been texting about it but i told him i am not ready.

How do i make sure that i meet him next time and continue to meet him with ease that we will only have sex when i am ready.

It seems the only way is to meet outside. Which is a shame as it's nice to be able to do things together as he is really nice, caring and sweet person from spending time with him and texting. I really like him and not sure how to preceed without pushing him away.

As i know it is normal nowadays to have sex early as there is articles about 3 dates rules etc.

But i would prefer to wait until i am ready.

You don't have sex. Meet in public places and avoid alcohol. You won't be pushing him away, he might be pushing you away for insisting on sex, if he does. Don't have sex just to keep him, it doesn't work like that.

Here we go again. I just answered a post, stating that one of women's main complaints in dating is men moving too fast.

The reason? - because women are too beautiful, and guys fall too fast. This is a good thing for you, if you look at it the right way. For one thing, it means you get less rejection than men.

You are doing good by setting boundaries, by telling him you are not ready for sex. Just meet him at a resturant for dinner, drive/travel separately. Women are like slow-cookers.

If he finds a girlfriend who falls in love with him, he'll be having sex regularly - So what's the big rush, Jeff Gordon?!

Keep doing what you are doing. I guess if you feel too much pressure, you may have to drop him and date another. That's a personal decision you'll have to make. And I sympathize, pushy men can be a turnoff.

Hold out as long as you can darling.

I guess if you feel too much pressure, you may have to drop him and date another. That's a personal decision you'll have to make. And I sympathize, pushy men can be a turnoff.

Hold out as long as you can darling.

Everyone i met so far wanted sex the right away and that is stressful as i cant work that way. I dont know if i will ever find the right guy!

I don't suggest you waste your time with someone with whom you're uncomfortable with in any way, shape or form. There are different kinds of discomfort: the kind that pushes us to grow and in positive ways and there's an unwelcome type of discomfort where anyone puts pressure on another person sexually. This is not acceptable.

Recognize the signs in yourself and follow your instincts. If you're enticed by his dining venues, look no further than your local food magazine and opt to go with friends instead. You do not need to forego your peace of mind for good food or general company doing things around town.

The 3 rule date?!? That's just magazine fluff...people don't jump into bed right away!

You can't believe everything you read and it's not the norm. You have sex with someone when you darn well feel ready. For many women, that's not for weeks, sometimes even months down the road.

There is no set time. You want to build a relationship first, make sure you know who this man is and that you trust being alone with him. You also want to make sure that you have some kind of foundation and that it's a relationship and not just sex.

Lots of things going into being intimate with someone.

Please take your time. Don't go jumping into bed with whoever just because you feel social pressure and have this idea that everyone else is so you should too.

Go at your own pace. If he's the right guy, he will respect the pace you want to go and will wait.

Why is he asking to have sex already? I would not meet him again for that reason alone. Guy is jumping the gun!

I met this guy . We had the first date and we were supposed to just have some drinks and chat . Then he ordered some food full course and then we went to watch a movie . He is a respectable person in his career so i felt safe with him. He seems to want to have sex as he has been texting about it but i told him i am not ready.

How do i make sure that i meet him next time and continue to meet him with ease that we will only have sex when i am ready.

It seems the only way is to meet outside. Which is a shame as it's nice to be able to do things together as he is really nice, caring and sweet person from spending time with him and texting. I really like him and not sure how to preceed without pushing him away.

 

As i know it is normal nowadays to have sex early as there is articles about 3 dates rules etc.

 

But i would prefer to wait until i am ready.

There is no "prefer" to wait until you are ready - there is ONLY waiting until you are ready.

Any guy who TEXTS you asking to have sex - I would next him. If he is 'respectable' he would be focusing on getting a second DATE. If you went out a bunch of times and the topic of sex came up = yes TALK about it together, but "drinks, dinner, a movie" = then a text about sex? Tacky. You hardly know him. Unless you were all over him during the date - then i can understand why he would bring it up. But over TEXT??

I personally wouldn’t go on a second date with someone focusing all of their energy on sex.

You be true to you and wait for someone who respects your boundaries.

I met this guy . We had the first date and we were supposed to just have some drinks and chat . Then he ordered some food full course and then we went to watch a movie .

Already out of the gate and he changed the terms of the first date to something you two were not in agreement to. But you excused it because you felt he had a respectable career and therefore felt safe?

Texting and one date and he's already overreached and now you feel pressured for sex?

How does all this really feel for you?

If this makes you uncomfortable, uncomfortable enough to come here and ask us how you get him to move at your pace, then it really smells as if you two are not on the same page.

You need to pay close attention to the queues in the beginning. This is who he really is. You can try to steer him in another direction, but you'd be better off taking this as a warning of things to come.

I really like him and not sure how to preceed without pushing him away.

Afraid of pushing away a guy who has the gall to ask you about sex after only knowing you 6 hours? Put your glasses on, and not rose-colored ones, because you're missing a red flag flapping right in front of you.

It's not a foolproof plan, but seems to make sense that guys who are looking for a longterm relationship will ask for more and more dates to get to know you better, while being patient about sex--waiting for signals from the woman of what she's gradually receptive to.

A guy with short term goals, who wants to get in and get out without putting effort into a serious relationship, will act like Speed Racer to achieve his own agenda. He's not afraid of scaring you off with sex talk, because he probably has an endless supply of women to choose from, from OLD or the bar scene.

In behaving with standards and ethics you're comfortable with, don't ever fear scaring guys away. If you scare someone away, he wasn't the right person for you anyway.

The 3 rule date?!? That's just magazine fluff...people don't jump into bed right away! You can't believe everything you read and it's not the norm. You have sex with someone when you darn well feel ready. For many women, that's not for weeks, sometimes even months down the road.

Although if we believe what we read on here it seems to have become the norm... on dates 1 and 2, never mind date 3.

The part bolded above is what matters. Never let peer pressure or some guy wanting to dip his stick in your oil pressure you into doing something before you are ready. Be very clear about your boundaries OP and if he keeps pushing... then push him away and date someone that will respect your physical space.

Dates 3 to 5 is average. But I say it's better to wait as long as you can.

Although if we believe what we read on here it seems to have become the norm... on dates 1 and 2, never mind date 3.

Although the people who are having sex that quickly are the ones turning up on this site with problems. I think that's something people should note.

It seems to work better if you wait to have sex and actually get to know your partner and build a foundation first.

Although the people who are having sex that quickly are the ones turning up on this site with problems. I think that's something people should note.

 

It seems to work better if you wait to have sex and actually get to know your partner and build a foundation first.

I think it is better to be friend ( friendship ) first and then see how the couple get on. In my experience, it is very hard to do this because men always want to jump to sex straight away.

Dates 3 to 5 is average. But I say it's better to wait as long as you can.

During waiting then he will be dating other girls and have sex with them. It is hard to date these days.

During waiting then he will be dating other girls and have sex with them. It is hard to date these days.

If you want to wait and he doesn't, and he has to go to date someone else so he can have sex on the first or second date, then you aren't compatible are you? You wait to see what the man's character is like. If you find it not to your liking you move on. I don't have to worry about a woman I date wanting sex before I was ready, but I do go on many dates with women who I realize pretty quick I am not compatible with. Don't waste your time on someone who isn't willing to follow your schedule. Best if that's the schedule they would like to follow anyway.

During waiting then he will be dating other girls and have sex with them. It is hard to date these days.

A man who's crazy about you will think you are worth the wait.

If he's jumping the in sack with anything else in between the space of 3 dates, then he's not your type anyway.

Dating becomes that much easier when you go about it from a place of confidence and good self esteem.

It's not a competition.

Just my experience but when a man is attracted to you, he wants to have sex with you.

That doesn't mean you have to agree to it or that you should agree to it. As folks have been saying, you have sex when you're ready, not when he wants it.

And if he can't wait? Then bye bye, good riddance, have a nice life.

Seriously OP this should be your attitude, NOT fear of pushing him away because you won't acquiesce to his sexual desires.

I mean absolutely no disrespect but if you're gonna be successful in dating, without breaking, you need to be stronger and have a thicker skin.

You cannot allow men to manipulate you like this, making you feel all sorts of guilt because you won't succumb to what they want. And fearing you will push them away.

I agree with others that any man who's pushing you for sex, immediate dump!

No man should be pushing you for sex, EVER. Even in a long term relationship, that's not how it works.

Sex should be the natural outcome of two people who are attracted and who have developed a connection.

This takes time, some longer than others, but no man should be "pushing" for it regardless.

Women who think with this kind of prejudice and self-derogatory thinking will end up single and bitter. Is sex part of a relationship, yes. But if you're one of those women who convinces herself "all men only want sex" then you've dug your own grave in the love-finding department.

men always want to jump to sex straight away.

He told me that he is attracted to me but he does not see long term relationship with me because he is looking for a woman who is younger than him but i am a few years older than him. Although he wants to be physically intimate with me. I told him we are looking for different things. It is such a shame as there is chemistry between us.

If i were to be intimate with him then it will break my heart and i would feel used and i shouldn't do that definitely.

Sounds really shallow if you ask me.