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Thread: Made a mistake. Struggling to cope.

  1. #51
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    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    Thank you for the messages. I needed a few days to get my head straight. He done exactly what I thought, had me and is now playing games again. I have walked away for good now.
    So I gather from the bolded, you did go back, gave him that "second chance" and once he had you, or thought he had you, he stopped wanting you, again. Is that correct?

    In any event, try to not beat yourself up, many of us have done same, and learned. You had to actually go back, or seriously consider going back, and giving him that second chance to know for certain now that he's a d-bag and you are DONE.

    And hopefully learned a valuable lesson, which is the positive take-away from all this.

    Chloe, I think I mentioned before but the actions of this man have me thinking he may be somewhat sociopathic. This is NOT your fault, and please don't think men like him are the norm cause they're not.

    There are many many good guys out there whom you will love, will love you, and you can trust.

    I am sorry you had to experience someone like him and you got hurt. You will get past this I promise.

    Time heals and I speak from experience when I say that.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 06-13-2019 at 10:03 PM.

  2. #52
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    I started up communication with him again, and very nearly saw him again. Sociopath and narcissist are very much him down to a T. Iím almost ashamed I ever gave myself to somebody like him. Iím very fragile now but I am praying time does heal me. Maybe far on into the future I can learn to trust again, but I think it will be a difficult journey for me.

  3. #53
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    I started up communication with him again, and very nearly saw him again. Sociopath and narcissist are very much him down to a T. Iím almost ashamed I ever gave myself to somebody like him. Iím very fragile now but I am praying time does heal me. Maybe far on into the future I can learn to trust again, but I think it will be a difficult journey for me.
    You're still communicating with him? Why? Are you hoping he'll "change"?

  4. #54
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    I stupidly replied to a few of his messages a couple of days ago. Since then I have had a massive wake up call. I will never put myself through this again. He went away on holiday with his guys yesterday, and Iíve saw videos on Instagram of him with a string of women all over them in clubs etc. I am finding it hard to process, and of course should have walked away the first time. Iím now trying desperately to heal

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  6. #55
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    I stupidly replied to a few of his messages a couple of days ago. Since then I have had a massive wake up call. I will never put myself through this again. He went away on holiday with his guys yesterday, and Iíve saw videos on Instagram of him with a string of women all over them in clubs etc. I am finding it hard to process, and of course should have walked away the first time. Iím now trying desperately to heal
    So I presume you blocked his number and any and all means of contact. I presume you "unfollowed" his Instagram and blocked him from seeing yours. I presume you also deleted his number so you won't be tempted to text him when you "miss" him.

    These steps are absolutely vital.

    If you come up with any bizarre excuses why you "can't" block him, that just proves you are still "hoping" and will likely give in the next time he contacts you wanting sex.

  7. #56
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    I hope so Chloe. Cause I have a feeling he will be back. Once he realizes you're gone for good, he'll try to lure you back. Only to start playing games once again and being a d-bag.

    I used to be friends with a woman who went through this crap for seven, yes SEVEN, years with her commitmentphobe, sociopathic boyfriend.

    It (and he) eventually destroyed her, literally. She had a breakdown and was never really the same.

    She allowed it, so it's partly on her, but don't be that girl Chloe, have you blocked him? If not, please do so now.

    If you mean what you said, that you're done, it should be easy. Relinquish ALL hope, it's over, for good, forever.

    Make that decision.

    Do it!! And don't look back.

    You'll be okay I promise you.

  8. #57
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So I presume you blocked his number and any and all means of contact. I presume you "unfollowed" his Instagram and blocked him from seeing yours. I presume you also deleted his number so you won't be tempted to text him when you "miss" him.

    These steps are absolutely vital.

    If you come up with any bizarre excuses why you "can't" block him, that just proves you are still "hoping" and will likely give in the next time he contacts you wanting sex.
    I agree, especially the bolded, but I don't even think it's about the sex. Because from what Chloe said, he started up with his BS before they even met up again.

    He just needed to know that he "had" her again, it's all EGO.

    When she positively responded to his messages and started communicating with him again, that's all he needed -- to know she was back. Emotionally. Under his "spell." Which from how she described it, she was. And now hates herself for it.

    Again, it's pure ego. And very sick.

  9. #58
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    Katrina, you are right. He started sending BS messages asking to see me to sort things etc, saying heís glad Iím back in his life. Next thing I know, he decides to go on holiday and I am faced with these videos and women on social media and itís honestly just unbelievable. I have blocked him on everything. I havenít said one word. Just blocked entirely. I never ever want him to come near me ever again. He has damaged me so much already.

  10. #59
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    Sorry to hear about your friend. I honestly feel if I hadnít gone through this the second time just now, I would have wound up just like her. My mental health is already so fragile from him. Even physically, not sleeping or eating. I will never allow another human being to treat me this way again. Hes already destroyed me as much as he can. I canít believe I even reconsidered giving him a second chance after the way he manipulated me and treated me the first time. Well hindsight is a wonderful thing. I know he will try and reach out to me somehow, but I have made sure Iíve blocked him on everything I had him on. I wonít let him win this time.

  11. #60
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    Youíve really just summarised it perfectly and accurately Katrina. His selfish, manipulative and huge ego thought he had me where he wants me again. For him to then go on and cheat essentially while heís away. Heís a fool as the fact it was posted on social media just re confirms the horrible, sociopathic idiot he is. I have no feelings left for him. Just resentment, anger and disgust. I canít beat myself up anymore than I already have for nearly giving him a second chance. I am just hoping I can forgive myself soon.

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