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Thread: Made a mistake. Struggling to cope.

  1. #31
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    Heís been contacting me all day today. He said he really wanted to see me today, I declined, said maybe tomorrow. Now it looks like Iím meeting him in a public place. I just want closure and to confirm this is it for me. I wonít be going back, no matter what he wants

  2. #32
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    Yes, hit the nail on the head. Hence why this is making it so so more difficult for me to process. As now heís almost acting like nothing happened, as if we can switch back to how we were. I am not ready to put myself through this again. Itís a very confusing time, but I must stick to my guns. Thanks again for your very very helpful response.

  3. #33
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    Completely agree amii1, this is my issue too.

  4. #34
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    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    Yes, hit the nail on the head. Hence why this is making it so so more difficult for me to process. As now heís almost acting like nothing happened, as if we can switch back to how we were. I am not ready to put myself through this again. Itís a very confusing time, but I must stick to my guns. Thanks again for your very very helpful response.
    Yes, always keep that in mind! You felt so bad after this last time of possibly being used just for sex, when really you're so much better than that. Meanwhile, he's acting like everything's fine. It's not. You can do way better. After getting closure, time to close this book.

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  6. #35
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    Why are you meeting with him? I thought it was already over.

    We don't get closure from others, it comes from oneself. I thought the closure came when he was messing with other women and had lost feelings for you.

    Time to move on to get the peace you deserve.
    Last edited by Hollyj; 06-11-2019 at 02:01 AM.

  7. #36
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Why are you meeting with him? I thought it was already over.

    We don't get closure from others, it comes from oneself. I thought the closure came when he was messing with other women.
    That's a good point. Especially with how he's acting like nothing happened and you basically felt used last time you saw him, seems like he doesn't care too much. I'd honestly just ghost him at this point. See how he likes it.

  8. #37
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    Originally Posted by amii1
    That's a good point. Especially with how he's acting like nothing happened and you basically felt used last time you saw him, seems like he doesn't care too much. I'd honestly just ghost him at this point. See how he likes it.
    Revenge is never good as it is giving energy to someone that does not deserve it. She should simply move on, for her own well being.

    Block this guy, OP!

  9. #38
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    This is very astute, are you speaking from experience blue?
    Not really. Or maybe a version of Chloe's shoes.

    I've certainly had women who kind of poke at me when I move away, enjoy my company for a bit, spaz out, then poke again when they've cooled off. If I'm in the mood for something that probably won't go anywhere, I'll indulge that a bit, but I find it pretty boring and if I'm emotionally invested I generally just bow out.

    I said in the other thread, in no uncertain terms, that his little "grow up" comment about the unfollowing would have been, for me, the point of no return. Dude is acting like a child and doesn't even have the wherewithal to understand that might have consequences? Yawn. So I'm not quite sure where the "benefit of the doubt" stuff comes from.

    As I said in the last thread, if I was in Chloe's shoes I would send a quick note along the lines of: "Having thought about this more, I've realized this isn't going to work for me. All the best." And, with that, end scene. Feel what you need feel, mourn what you need to mourn, make space for something better.

    I stand by that. That's where closure beginsóby deciding to close the doorónot into prolonging a hot/cold, push/pull dynamic with someone who has proved himself incapable of understanding that other people have feelings.

  10. 06-11-2019, 02:38 AM

  11. #39
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. Stay strong and don't let him toy with your emotions or allow yourself to be manipulated. Make an appt with your doctor for a checkup and get a referral to a therapist. Dating, relationships and sex are not substitutes for appropriate treatment for anxiety/depression or taking care of your physical and mental health.
    Originally Posted by Chloej123
    He then decides to comment on this, and call me immature for removing him.
    He asks should he come to my place to talk etc and I stupidly say ok. We then end up sleeping together
    I am really struggling with anxiety and depression right now. And I even came off anti depressants when I met him.

  12. #40
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Not really. Or maybe a version of Chloe's shoes.

    I've certainly had women who kind of poke at me when I move away, enjoy my company for a bit, spaz out, then poke again when they've cooled off. If I'm in the mood for something that probably won't go anywhere, I'll indulge that a bit, but I find it pretty boring and if I'm emotionally invested I generally just bow out.

    I said in the other thread, in no uncertain terms, that his little "grow up" comment about the unfollowing would have been, for me, the point of no return. Dude is acting like a child and doesn't even have the wherewithal to understand that might have consequences? Yawn. So I'm not quite sure where the "benefit of the doubt" stuff comes from.

    As I said in the last thread, if I was in Chloe's shoes I would send a quick note along the lines of: "Having thought about this more, I've realized this isn't going to work for me. All the best." And, with that, end scene. Feel what you need feel, mourn what you need to mourn, make space for something better.

    I stand by that. That's where closure beginsóby deciding to close the doorónot into prolonging a hot/cold, push/pull dynamic with someone who has proved himself incapable of understanding that other people have feelings.
    But she chose instead to re-add him on social media and then had sex with him.

    She says now he's trying to get back together, so who knows?

  13. 06-11-2019, 08:54 AM
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    Trolling

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