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Thread: Pregnant Wife vs. Woman I've Fallen For

  1. #11
    Originally Posted by LolaBeez
    I agree people don’t take relationships serious at all these days.its really sad.

    And for advice. Never leave the one you love for the one you like. You like this other woman but you love your wife. Keep fighting for your marriage
    Thanks Lola, that's actually constructive advice. It isn't an easy situation and I hate that I've got myself into it, but I do want to do what is right by my children whatever that takes

  2. #12
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I am telling you what you need to hear. Advice my butt!... it's simple, be a decent man and stop thinking with your penis.

    You've got 3 lives there that you are responsible for. It does not allow for you to start crushing on some home wrecker at work...and yes, she's a home wrecker.

    If she doesn't give a damn about her marriage, she should at least give a damn about destroying your children's lives.

    The pair of you are incredibly selfish.

    This isn't about getting it on with one another..it's about being a adult and being responsible for the choices YOU made.

    You chose to marry your wife, you chose to get her pregnant...be a man and stand behind your choices!!

    Or you can go and do more damage to innocent people due to being selfish.
    Last edited by SherrySher; 06-10-2019 at 09:59 AM.

  3. #13
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    “she discovered I'd been hiding that I'd been drinking from her, a massive bone of contention in our relationship as I've often drunk heavily to cope with difficult times in the past) and she told me she wanted me out. The other girl was supportive”

    The other girl was “supportive”
    Of course she was. Because she IS the other girl.
    She won’t be so supportive when she is in your wife’s shoes.
    She is not a shiny new thing to you.
    You are a shiny new thing to her.

    Just because she doesn’t give a crap about your life or wife , doesn’t mean you shouldn’t?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    You're a star SherrySher.
    I'm a star? Cause dude, you're not coming off too shiny yourself. A pregnant wife for goodness sake..how is this even a consideration?

    It's called being responsible for the choices you've made.

    Does marriage get hard? Yes. Does it get mundane at times, yes. But it's like that for everyone. It does not mean you start crushing on someone else or start wondering what you're missing out on.

    It means you work at making things work with your wife. Go on dates, rekindle the romance, get a baby sitter so you can have time alone...do what you have to do to make ONE woman happy in your life.

    No, it's not easy to do..it's much easier to start chasing other women. But the men who can pull off 40-50+ year marriages truly do know what it takes to be a man, which involves finding a million different ways to make ONE woman happy, not to try and be happy with a million different women, or even more than one for that matter.

    This is your wife, the woman who dedicated her life to you. She has been a faithful wife.
    These are your children...your flesh and blood, who deserve a mom and dad...a family, happy under one roof.

    You don't just run out because someone else might look good.

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  6. #15
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    I am not here to judge you but just trying to offer a perspective. The saying "a bird in the hand is better than two in the bush" exists for a reason. If you had known this other woman a long time or had dated her previously and knew what it was like to date her (and knew HER well) then I would say yeah you have a better picture of whom to choose.

    It doesn't sound to me like you've known this woman for a particularly long time. She is a new colleague and she came into the job unhappy with her own marriage. She was probably looking to flirt with someone and get some attention and validation on a subconscious level. It was you that reciprocated and hey presto, that's how this all came about.

    If you had met under other circumstances and you were both single, I think there would be a higher chance this woman's interest in you would be more genuine. She may just be looking for an excuse to end her marriage and you are it.

    All I'm saying is the things you've said about your wife weren't even that bad? Unless I missed something? Doesn't sound like they could have been that bad either because you were with her for seven years, chose to get married, then chose to have kids. If she was so terrible then why did you continue?

    It's very easy to develop infatuations when you meet new people because they're new. Maybe your other crushes didn't go anywhere because they just weren't reciprocated. You want to think this is really special but it might not be. There are always many other people out there we could like, find attractive, etc. When you choose to marry and have kids and you are not polyamorous, you make a choice to commit. You have made that choice so that does mean you can't just do whatever you want. And to keep in mind that you also seemingly WANTED to make that choice. I think you should examine why you've been with your wife all this time and what made you keep going with the relationship.

    You have no history with this other woman really and you don't know if it'll even work out. At this point your wife forgives you but if you completely leave her then maybe she won't take you back. Throwing away a partner of 12 years and two kids over a new fling just seems like a poor choice. But that's just me.

  7. #16
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    Just to add also, I understand drinking alcohol to deal with things because I can sometimes do it too. But you have to see that now you have a small child and another baby on the way, so if you get off your face, you can't be there for your family. And it's not a good example for your children. So to be honest it does make sense why your wife is upset about this because you just can't do that when you're a Dad.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Things happen. Your wife knows what happened and wants to make the marriage work, so you need to ask yourself what you really want. Everyone on here will tell you what you already know, so really, it's just a matter of what you want. The likelihood of something working out with this other woman is slim to none, and I think you know that. You dated, married and had children with your wife for a reason. Has that reason changed? What are your priorities now?

    Maybe you can try an old-fashioned "pro and con" list about each woman to give yourself better perspective. Be honest with yourself about each.

  9. #18
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    Stop drinking.
    Dump the floozy.
    Don't talk to her outside of work. Block her number. you don't need it.
    Switch departments or look for another job if you have to.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    Maybe you can try an old-fashioned "pro and con" list about each woman to give yourself better perspective. Be honest with yourself about each.
    He needs to dump the side woman. Then he needs to go to marriage counseling and he and his wife need to work on their marriage on whether its a go or no go.
    If he leaves his wife for the other woman he will quickly realizes she is not all she is cracked up to be once he sees her in the day to day.
    It should not be a "comparing two women against eachother and choosing one"/

    Either way, he will be involved with the wife for years because of the kids. He can't erase her. Might as well actually try to give his marriage a go before leaving

  11. #20
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    He needs to dump the side woman. Then he needs to go to marriage counseling and he and his wife need to work on their marriage on whether its a go or no go.
    If he leaves his wife for the other woman he will quickly realizes she is not all she is cracked up to be once he sees her in the day to day.
    It should not be a "comparing two women against eachother and choosing one"/

    Either way, he will be involved with the wife for years because of the kids. He can't erase her. Might as well actually try to give his marriage a go before leaving
    Agreed - but he's already made choices that puts him in a situation where he's wondering which choice to choose. Nother we all say will matter. So I suggested something practical that he might actually do to make it clearer to him.

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