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Thread: Workoholic partner

  1. #11
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    It sounds like this is what his work style is like, OP. You've voiced your concerns about the relationship to him and if he's telling you that his "soul needs to help people", then he's telling you what his priorities are. If you are not okay with this (and it sounds like you're not), you need to think about what you're still doing in this relationship.

  2. #12
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    Your concerns are legitimate; life can seem to feel unbalanced when you partner works excessively. Conversations (when you can) about your partner being a workaholic should be approached cautiously and with compassion; let him know how you feel. Certain jobs are more prone to workaholism. As frustrating as it may be to not scold your partner for his overworking tendencies, stay positive. Work together to find a solution and for him re-examine his priorities. Blessings.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Take the cat to a vet and decide whether staying with this guy is what you want to continue doing. Maybe a separation will teach him what 'helping others' is like without you.

  4. #14
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    Sweetie I speak from experience, the problem is not that he's a workaholic -- he's a drug addict.

    My guess is meth or coke, which is why he's able to "work" or do whatever he does for 90+ hours a week.

    Out all night?

    Out with his druggie "friends" including women, doing drugs and partying all night.

    I've been through this exact same things, my ex bf/fiance claiming he had two jobs, was gone most of the time "working," out all night, sleeping/crashing at odd hours -- turned out he was doing meth and coke all hours of the night (and day).

    He was high when he went to work too.

    I was in denial about it for a very long time, don't make the same mistake I did.

    I eventually left, it was the hardest but best decision I ever made.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 06-11-2019 at 02:29 PM.

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  6. #15
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    The not eating or sleeping suggests drugs too -- like big time!

    And his comimg home at 8:00 am in the morn, high and talking a mile a minute. Then crashing for a few hours, rinse/repeat at night.

    His behavior jumped out at me, I recognized all of it!!

    Not sure what to tell you, confronting him will do nothing!

    He will just deny and lash out at you.

    I left, after which my ex checked himself into rehab.

    Anyway, I wish you luck, you're gonna need it, I'm sorry.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 06-11-2019 at 03:01 PM.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Completely agree. Maybe that's also why he has so much chronic debt.
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Sweetie I speak from experience, the problem is not that he's a workaholic -- he's a drug addict. My guess is meth or coke, which is why he's able to "work" or do whatever he does for 90+ hours a week. Out all night?Out with his druggie "friends" including women, doing drugs and partying all night.

  8. #17
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    Wisemsn is right about the debt -- ex spent in excess of $150,000 of his 401K to support his habit.

    After that, it was credit cards. He credit tanked!!

    I mean think about it.

    If your bf truly was legit working all those hours, 90+, he'd have plenty of money to pay off those debts.

    His credit may be worse than you think too.

    Again, I am sorry.

  9. #18
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    I've asked... I can't afford it as I'm going through my own career change and barely scraping by for now. Believe me, I've offered to take the cat multiple times and he hasn't given me money. I do everything for the cat...

  10. #19
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    He's stuck on an "okay" salary. He signed a contract for working over time. He works in the entertainment industry. He worked yesterday 9am - 11pm, and then picks up a shift as a video wall guy at an after hrs clubs. And everytime he's there I know 100% he is popping pills. And he was supposed to have today off... All of a sudden while he's at the after hrs club his boss tells him he needs to work 9am-11pm again. And he's supposed to work at the after hrs bar again after his crazy long shift. I'm in tears.. 4 hrs of sleep because I have anxiety. Like how can someone stay awake for 2 days straight!? And barely eat..

  11. #20
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    He does coke and MDMA at the after hrs clubs. Sometimes aderal or speed. This is all to stay awake. But also he loves drugs and has no problem admitting that. He doesn't deny it. I have no clue if he is doing drugs during the week though.. but he very well could be and not tell me. Who knows. Maybe he's not a workaholic and I have it wrong. But he's obsessed with doing other people favours and over works himself. He never says no, even to me. I don't ask him to do favours ever because I want him to sleep or have time to catch up on responsibilities. I need to him catch up for my sake too. And I keep pushing about the cat.

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