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Thread: Forward or Red Flag Creepy

  1. #41
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    I told him I don't want to meet as we're not a good match and he disregarded my wishes not to take a call at that time. He responded that he didn't disregard it and we should still meet up 🙄 blocked him on there and my phone. Can't figure out how to do so on my apps so hopefully he won't try that way lol

  2. #42
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    Originally Posted by thornz
    I told him I don't want to meet as we're not a good match and he disregarded my wishes not to take a call at that time. He responded that he didn't disregard it and we should still meet up 🙄 blocked him on there and my phone. Can't figure out how to do so on my apps so hopefully he won't try that way lol
    I think that's fine! Less is better with strangers who may be unstable in my personal and vicarious experience but sure you told him why and hopefully he will go away. Fast.

  3. #43
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    Originally Posted by thornz
    Whether I was busy or not is irrelevant, I made it clear I didn't want to chat that evening. FYI I am knackered and the last thing I was interested in was chatting to a stranger.

    Next week was only a day away hardly a long time to wait to make arrangements. If I messaged him the next day and said text me this week so we can make arrangements to meet up, what difference does that make? The fact is he asked if I wanted to chat, I made it clear I didn't yet he still rang me anyway. What I expect is the basic courtesy I would give him which is to arrange a time to call or meet that is convenient for both. What's the emergency? Why ring when I told you not to? When I arrange a call I ask if they would like to chat by phone, IF they say yes I ask when suits them, if that doesn't suit me I ask if another time works. Basic manners. I don't ask and then ring anyway on the occasions they say no or just ring randomly if they say yes. It's just not cool. Was chatting to a woman off Tinder last week. I asked if she was OK with a call on more than one occasion, both times she said no, both times I respected that and we instead met up for food and had a good time. Not difficult.
    YOUR week starts on a Monday.
    Not everyone’s does.
    FYI!!

    Where are your manners? And why expect courtesy when you don’t give it yourself?

  4. #44
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    YOUR week starts on a Monday.
    Not everyone’s does.
    FYI!!

    Where are your manners? And why expect courtesy when you don’t give it yourself?
    I didn't get all those details from her post about timing. Seemed to me the guy was pushy otherwise - not "creepy" but as Cherlyn aptly put -he lacks discretion!

  5.  

  6. #45
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    thornz, this has not been mentioned, but I gotta ask -- are you ready and actually wanting to meet and date right now?

    Reason I ask is back when you first started chatting w him, you had a few nice chats w him on line. He asked to meet over the weekend, but you're "busy"? All weekend?

    A first meet is a 15-30 minute coffee. Were you so busy you couldn't squeeze that in? 15 minutes?

    I am not judging cause I used to do the same thing, when I wasn't yet ready to date.

    I thought I was, but whenever a man seemed interested and asked me out (I wasn't doing on line at the time), there was always some lame reason I created in my head to not go,

    Being "busy" seemed the simplist so went w that.

    It took awhile, but I finally figured it out, I was just not ready to date!!

    Now here's the thing w some guys. The more resistant I was, the more excuses I had, the more interested they became! Pushy like this guy.

    This was a red flag regardless of my elusive behavior.

    So I would block him.

    So yeah, ditch this guy BUT think about whether you're really ready to get out there.

    I'm finding it hard to believe that anyone could be so busy during the entire weekend that they can't spare 15 min to meet someone they've been chatting w for coffee. Assumimg they're actually ready and wanting to meet and date.

    As for this guy, that's a next.

    Best of luck thornz.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 06-10-2019 at 11:29 AM.

  7. #46
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    Imo this is less about this one particular guy (I would leave it with him by the way for what it's worth) but more your overall mindset to online dating.

    The thing that really jumps out at me reading this thread, OP, is how negative you sound about online dating and the men on it! You sound as though, rather than having fun enjoying chatting to and meeting people, you see the whole thing as a chore and you regard the vast majority of the men on the sites as weirdos to be screened out! Yeah of course there are some weird guys (just the same as there are some weird women) - the problem is though that a very negative attitude puts off the decent guys - it's kind of like a vicious circle!

  8. #47
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    Agree w Ian.

    Anyone who considers meeting and dating a chore, is not ready or even desirous of dating right now.

    thornz, do yourself and these men a favor, and continue introspecting, working on yourself. Figuring yourself out.

    There is nothing wrong w not wanting to date, believing it to be a "chore" but own it.

    Stop dating and take steps to determine why you feel that way.

    With such a negative mindset, there is no way on god's green earth anything positive will result from it anyway.

    The opposite actually. It will cause you to become bitter, resentful and annoyed.

    Just as you're feeling now.

  9. #48
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    Originally Posted by Billie28
    YOUR week starts on a Monday.
    Not everyone’s does.
    FYI!!

    Where are your manners? And why expect courtesy when you don’t give it yourself?
    The bottom line, is that she said she did not want to communicate until next week. He did not respect that.

  10. #49
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    Originally Posted by Ian4996
    Imo this is less about this one particular guy (I would leave it with him by the way for what it's worth) but more your overall mindset to online dating.

    The thing that really jumps out at me reading this thread, OP, is how negative you sound about online dating and the men on it! You sound as though, rather than having fun enjoying chatting to and meeting people, you see the whole thing as a chore and you regard the vast majority of the men on the sites as weirdos to be screened out! Yeah of course there are some weird guys (just the same as there are some weird women) - the problem is though that a very negative attitude puts off the decent guys - it's kind of like a vicious circle!
    Good point!

  11. #50
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    Wait. Are you dating females as well?

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