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Thread: Why would he do this?

  1. #1
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    Why would he do this?

    I went on my first ďdateĒ on Tuesday ( 2 days ago) to Kings Island which is an amusement park. It was all going well, we met up with his mom and two little brothers a couple of times and we talked alone for a while. He kept asking me to be romantic in line or on the ride because I said I would but I didnít do it because I didnít really feel like it. I did snuggle into him or hold his hand a couple of times in line and on rides. I felt like he was pushing me, but I didnít correct him because it was better than him not wanting to feel like I love him. I thought it was all going well. We talked about how he doesnít respond to my texts, which is always a conversation we talk about because it affects me soo much. Then it got a lot worse. It didnít go into a fight, we were just telling each other the truth. He said that i was clingy, which I am but he shouldnít say that and it really broke my heart. Then he said that he doesnít respond to my texts because heís normally playing Pokťmon Go and he doesnít feel like responding because itís fun. I asked him why he wouldnít and he said that he doesnít feel like getting into a 3 hour conversation with me even though he enjoys them. The fact is, that our conversations arenít that long because he tries to end it quicker and at the most itís reached 2 hours. Now I donít know what to do because he broke my heart and heís always trying to be romantic in person and over texts. I talk romantic over texts and say that i want to be romantic in person but I canít. He always brings it up to make me feel guilty. I apologized for not being able to respond to his texts right away the little amount of times that happened but he didnít apologize back. He says he loves me over anything and everything else, but he doesnít show it. I donít want to end it with him. I text him a lot because I feel like he doesnít love me anymore so I try to get him to respond. Please tell me what I should do. I donít want to end it. I need to know what to say to him to let him know that he needs to stop this nonsense. Please help me. Iíve tried texting him with different numbers on my two iPods and heís responded to those texts even though he doesnít know who is texting him. Iím texting him on my normal number and he still doesnít respond. Please help me

  2. #2
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    You're only 13. It's normal for you to be confused about these things.

    BTW, when you say he wanted you to "get romantic ", that doesn't mean any kind of sexual activity, does it?

  3. #3
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    Was Tuesday your first time meeting him? How long have you been talking?

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    Oh wow I didnít realize your age. If you donít feel comfortable listen to your gut. If he canít respect your personal space you need too find another guy. Remember youíve got plenty of time for dating as you get older. Donít waste your youth hung up on the wrong people.

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  6. #5
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    I know this is not what you want to hear, but this is exactly why 13 year old's should not date. It's not your fault, but by nature neither of you have the emotional maturity to navigate these things. That explains why you don't seem to hear or understand each other.

    In both of your posts you share how uncomfortable you feel when he is physically forward with you. You've even expressed to him that it makes you uncomfortable, yet he continues. If he isn't honoring your wishes, he's being disrespectful.

    Stop, back up and be a teenager for a few more years. Not sense having your first date being twisted up with a bad experience and miscommunications.

    Hang out with friends, young men and women in groups. Refrain from dating until you are either at the end of high school or after your graduate. The longer the better actually. You will be better equipped to handle it.

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    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    OK so you had a discussion. He wasn't sensitive to your feelings or expectations, by calling you clingy. He insulted you, and you are hurt. He should no long be your BF. You are better off with a different boy, one who actually cares about you.

    Here's where this is going...he is only interested in you physically, not emotionally. He doesn't give a rat's butt about texting you or connecting with you or how you feel or what you are thinking. He's a jerk. Never mistake a guy being pushy to get physical (kissing, holding hands, touching you) as a sign of love. It's not love, he's just horny, acting on his hormones. That is why he is only interested in you when you see him, and not interested in you when you don't see him. Sorry but you can't fix him, or change the way he is....you can't force someone to care or love you.....even if he says he does, it just might be a lie to lure you into being more physical.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by pmerrill4650
    I went on my first ďdateĒ on Tuesday ( 2 days ago) to Kings Island which is an amusement park.
    What do you mean by your first date? What was happening before your first date, were you just texting/messaging? How long have you known him?

    Originally Posted by pmerrill4650

    I text him a lot because I feel like he doesnít love me anymore so I try to get him to respond.
    Please don't ever EVER text a guy because you feel he doesn't love you and you want him to respond. That is, without a doubt, the absolutely worst reason to text him!

    You will end up doing the exact opposite, annoying him and pushing him away. Which sounds like precisely what is happening now. In fact, he even called you "clingy" -- this is your cue to pull back and leave him alone.

    If a boy acts like he doesn't like you, or doesn't respond to your texts (one or two texts tops), again leave him alone. I cannot stress this enough. Trust me he's not appreciating it, not liking it and like I said, you're actually doing the opposite of what you want -- annoying him and pushing him away.

    You're only 13, so not faulting you for not knowing this, but moving forward, and as you get older you will understand these things better.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 06-13-2019 at 04:01 PM.

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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You're only 13. It's normal for you to be confused about these things.

    BTW, when you say he wanted you to "get romantic ", that doesn't mean any kind of sexual activity, does it?
    No it doesnít it just means like hold hands or lean into him

  10. #9
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    You shouldn't have to force things to work this way. Good dating experiences tend to feel like they just happened that way, without a lot of effort required. He is trying to make you into his perfect girlfriend (apparently one that is has a lot of physical stuff in person, and you don't connect that much when you are apart), and you are trying to make him into your perfect boyfriend (something not too physical, with a lot of long texts and being available for text chats at a moments notice).

    Neither his nor your idea of the perfect partner are realistic, or really what you will eventually want. You can't expect a guy who is living his best life to be available to text you whenever you feel like you miss him. And you will want a guy who is living his best life!

    He can't expect a young woman to want to be physical when there isn't a strong emotional connection first. Boys like him are eventually going to want those emotional connections too - though some boys never grow up :(

    You aren't a good fit in this case. Sorry for the heartbreak, but it's kind of inevitable. The odds of having a good dating experience at this age are really low. 13 is a rough age - you will get through it.

    A similar experience I went through: I was in love with a girl from my youth group. We made each other laugh. I was too afraid to say anything until she moved away. I finally said something and we talked on the phone a lot. My family later planned a trip to the city she had moved to, and I went to meet her on valentines day. First, she tried to stand me up - when we went to meet her at her house her parents didn't know where she had gone. We finally tracked her down and spent the rest of the day together. She dumped me on valentines day after I had planned a trip to go see her lol.

    It sure stung! One of the earliest times in my life I remember truly crying about something. But after returning to school it was like a week or so before I had developed a crush on someone else. But... that's another story haha.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by limichelle
    Was Tuesday your first time meeting him? How long have you been talking?
    No weíve been dating for 8 months, that was actually our anniversary. It was just our first ďdateĒ. We went on a double date once with a couple our age at school that weíre friends with and his family was there, this was the first time weíd went somewhere without another couple and we werenít with his family the whole time

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