Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 8 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 77

Thread: How to deal with this

  1. #11
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    14,650
    Originally Posted by floralprints
    If I had been perfect and controlled my emotions better would he have been with me? .
    NO. He told you several times that he did NOT want a relationship with you. It was too soon after his breakup. He made it clear he was not ready for any relationship. Kudos to him for saying so. You were just something on the side - a temporary fix, but not relationship material. A fwb. He clearly still has baggage from his EX. That's your cue to head in the opposite direction.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    5,609
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by floralprints
    So was it my bad temper that caused this? Wasnít he just not over his ex and using me?
    I think it's both, your bad temper and pushiness would turn anyone off. You wanted more than he was prepared to give. I dont think he's totally over his gf of 5 yrs in just a couple of months. It sounds like he was telling you the truth, he's not ready for a relationship just yet. I think you pushed him away and turned him off.

    I agree, get some help with your attitude or you will keep pushing people away.

  3. #13
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    32
    He wanted at first and sounded serious

  4. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    1,266
    You asked him if you were together .
    You asked a normal question but far too soon , yet he responded with the perfect answer.
    His answer being that he chose to exclusively date you.
    You should have been over the moon happy with that response.
    Instead you got upset?!?

    Dating goes from casual dating to exclusive dating to a relationship, itís a gradual process.
    And it looked like things were going in the right direction.

    However the reason we donít jump from dating to ďrelationshipĒ is because during the course of dating we learn more about each other which will lead either to progressing or ending things.

    Your neediness and inappropriate reactions are what would have been red flags to him.
    Once a red flag is raised you canít undo it. Sorry.

  5.  

  6. #15
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    32
    I canít change his mind anymore?

    His ex was still calling him... he was not over her, were things really heading towards the right direction?

  7. #16
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    10,295
    Originally Posted by floralprints
    Iíll improvr my temper and be nicer and he would want me?
    You serious, lady? Improve your temper because it's the grown up and decent think to do, not because it may have and likely ruined your chances with this guy.

  8. #17
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    32
    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    NO. He told you several times that he did NOT want a relationship with you. It was too soon after his breakup. He made it clear he was not ready for any relationship. Kudos to him for saying so. You were just something on the side - a temporary fix, but not relationship material. A fwb. He clearly still has baggage from his EX. That's your cue to head in the opposite direction.
    My temper showed before I asked the question, and more so afterwards.
    But if I was perfect for him, he would see me as more than a temporary fix, wouldn't he?

  9. #18
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Posts
    32
    Originally Posted by j.man
    You serious, lady? Improve your temper because it's the grown up and decent think to do, not because it may have and likely ruined your chances with this guy.
    I know and I want to for myself.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    9,084
    Originally Posted by floralprints
    So was it my bad temper that caused this? Wasnít he just not over his ex and using me?
    Stop beating yourself up over this, it was mostly likely a lot of things combined.

    But none of it really matters, you only dated a short while, two months?

    For whatever reason, after two months, he realized you weren't the right fit. Happens all the time.

    It could have been your temper, could have been your accusing him of "using" you, could have been your desperation and neediness, could be he's not over his ex, heck it could have been because he didn't like your shoes! lol

    It does not matter.

    It appears you're quite aware of your various "weaknesses," so learn from this, and strive to be better in your next relationship.

    That's all you can do. Good luck.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    5,609
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by floralprints
    My temper showed before I asked the question, and more so afterwards.
    But if I was perfect for him, he would see me as more than a temporary fix, wouldn't he?
    Wow you dont get it. A bad temper is not something anyone wants to deal with. You werent perfect for him, he was not ready for a relationship, you pushed the issue after just two months dating! Work on fixing yourself so you are a nicer person who is not prone to getting angry and you will stand a better change with guys and people in general. This guy is gone and you need to understand that.

Page 2 of 8 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •